472. St. Winifred’s School Choir – There’s No One Quite Like Grandma (1980)

The Intro

The shocking death of John Lennon in December 1980 saw the singles chart understandably awash with his material, old and new. Happy Xmas (War Is Over) was among them. And yet, this novelty song by St Winifred’s School Choir become Christmas number 1. Lennon’s murder proved the world could be an awful place. There’s No One Quite Like Grandma was the icing on this shit cake.

Before

St Winifred’s School Choir was formed at St Winifred’s Roman Catholic Primary School in Stockport in 1968. A local newspaper cutting from 1972 reveals that the choir first recorded that year, at 10cc’s local Strawberry Studios. Miss Olive Moore was their conductor, with Miss Terri Foley on guitar.

In 1978, the choir were selected to provide backing vocals on Brian and Michael’s Matchstalk Men and Matchstick Cats and Dogs (Lowry’s Song). Pupils sang The Big Ship Sails on the Alley-Alley-O as a counterpoint to the song’s chorus as it draws to a close. When the single became a surprise number 1, St Winifred’s School Choir got to appear on Top of the Pops. And that should have been the end of it.

The choir’s brush with fame (pun intended) saw them signed to EMI’s Music for Pleasure (MFP) in 1979. MFP was a budget label, often releasing cheap compilations or re-recordings of popular film and TV soundtracks. Popular with the older record buyer, and families, it was a natural home for St Winifred’s School Choir. Referred to as ‘The Matchstalk Children’ on the sleeve of their debut single, Bread and Fishes, the children were arranged in a circle – boys in blue, girls in pink – with Miss Foley (now credited as Chorus Master) strumming away next to Sister Aquinas – the ‘Management’. MFP were so cheap, the sleeve was reused for their debut LP, And the Children Sing – which featured covers of Any Dream Will Do and Mull of Kintyre.

In 1980, their second album, My Very Own Party Record, featured wall-to-wall bangers like If You’re Happy and You Know It and London Bridge. Most likely with one eye on the Christmas market, and remembering how well 1971 number 1 Grandad had performed, they chose There’s No One Quite Like Grandma.

Gorden Lorenz had been a travelling evangelist before turning to music, where he learned his way around the recording studio by writing music for Border Television to be used between their daytime shows. In 1980, Lorenz saw an opportunity to cash in on the Queen Mother’s 80th birthday. He wrote There’s No One Quite Like Grandma and sent a demo to EMI, despite not being convinced himself that it was any good. At first they turned it down. However, one day he received a call from the managing director, who said they couldn’t get the chorus out of my mind, and he suggested they put it out at Christmas. Using St Winifred’s School Choir, fresh from their Top of the Pops appearance, was an evil masterstroke, designed to tug at the heartstrings.

Review

There are no positives to mention when discussing There’s No One Quite Like Grandma. The worst number 1 in many years, and the worst festive chart-topper of the 80s, is an abomination, plain and simple.

It’s painful to listen to, with wretched production, and is an example of how shameless and cynical the music business could be and would become. That it kept Happy Xmas (War Is Over) and Stop the Cavalry from the Christmas number 1 spot makes it even more awful.

The lyrics are abysmal, and read like one of those awful poems you occasionally see on Angry People in Local Newspapers. The children singing on the record could probably create better rhymes than Lorenz did. Your honour, I give you:

‘There’s no one quite like Grandma,
She always has a smile,
She never hurries us along,
But stays a little while’

Worst of all is the lead vocal by Dawn Ralph. Of course, that’s not her fault, she was just a little girl with the kind of sickly sweet, short-tongued voice that fitted the bill perfectly. But without getting too personal, her performance on that Top of the Pops appearance above reminds me of the twin girls in The Shining. It gives me chills, and I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this way.

Dreary, vapid and queasy, There’s No One Quite Like Grandma is a throwback to the novelty number 1s of the early years of the charts, such as Lita Roza’s (How Much Is) That Doggie in the Window?. 1980 was a bumper year for chart-toppers – 25 in fact. There’s No One Quite Like Grandma is easily the worst of the year and the earliest frontrunner for worst of the decade. On the plus, side, my youngest daughter asked me what I was writing about, so I showed her the clip, and she thought Ralph was singing ‘No-one fights like Grandma’. Now there’s an idea for a sequel.

After

St Winifred’s School Choir’s reign was mercifully short – lasting only a fortnight. Such was the magnitude of Lennon’s death, the end of the festive season saw his records ruling the roost again. But at least their Christmas number 1 helped to pay for new carpets and classroom facilities at the school.

Thankfully, St Winifred’s proved to be a one-hit wonder, though the choir continued recording albums until 1985’s 20 All-Time Children’s Favourites.

However, in 1986 came It’s ‘Orrible Being in Love (When You’re 8 ½), credited to Claire and Friends. Claire and her pals went to St Winifred’s, and the song was written by Mick Coleman and produced by Kevin Parrott, AKA Brian and Michael. St Winifred’s School Choir provided backing vocals, though they were uncredited. The single reached 13, and is no doubt also hard work, but because I was seven when it was released, I can’t help but have a soft spot for it. That’s nostalgia for you.

In 1990, St Winifred’s School Choir teamed up with Ziba Banafsheh to record the single A Better World, in aid of Mother Theresa of Calcutta’s charity. Three years later they were uncredited for their performance on Bill Tarmey’s (Coronation Street‘s Jack Duckworth) cover of Barry Manilow’s One Voice, produced by Mike Stock and Pete Waterman.

In 2009, 14 of the 1980 line-up teamed up to re-record There’s No One Quite Like Grandma, produced by drinks company Innocent in aid of Help the Aged and Age Concern.

The Outro

Among the choir responsible for the original There’s No One Quite Like Grandma were two who became actresses. Most famous is Sally Lindsay, who starred in Coronation Street as Shelley Unwin. The other, Jennifer Hennessy, starred in The Office and Doctor Who. Neither were involved in the remake, and nor was Ralph, who refuses to give interviews. Can’t blame her.

The Info

Written by

Gordon Lorenz

Producer

Peter Tattersall

Weeks at number 1

2 (27 December 1980-9 January 1981)

Trivia

6 January 1981: Novelist Andrew Britton

Deaths

27 December 1980: Golfer Eric Green/Golfer Arthur Havers
29 December: Jazz pianist Lennie Felix/Businessman John Wall, Baron Wall
31 December: Marxist philosopher Maurice Cornforth
2 January 1981: Actor Victor Carin
3 January: Princess Alice, Countess of Athlone
4 January: Royal Navy captain Gordon Charles Steele
5 January: Aircraft engineer Sir James Martin
6 January: Aristocrat Ernestine Bowes-Lyon/Scottish novelist AJ Cronin/Labour Party MP Tom Litterick
7 January: Broadcaster Alvar Lidell
9 January: Racing driver Sammy Davies/Scottish artist William MacTaggart

Meanwhile…

28 December 1980: The Independent Broadcasting Authority (IBA) awarded TV-am the first ever breakfast television contract.

2 January 1981: 34-year-old lorry driver Peter Sutcliffe, from Bradford, was arrested in Sheffield. After two days of questioning in Dewsbury, he admitted he was the serial killer known as the Yorkshire Ripper.

4 January 1981: British Leyland workers voted to accept a peace formula in the Longbridge plant strike.

5 January: Sutcliffe was charged with the murder of 13 women and attempted murder of seven more between 1975 and 1980.
Also on this day, the TV adaptation of Douglas Adam’s radio series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy began on BBC Two, while Norman St John-Stevas departed the Conservative Party Cabinet, to be replaced by Leon Brittan and Norman Fowler.

7 January: A parcel bomb addressed to Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was intercepted.

8 January: A terrorist bomb attack happens on the RAF base at Uxbridge.

    471. John Lennon – (Just Like) Starting Over (1980)

    The Intro

    It’s one of pop’s sadder ironies that it took the shocking murder of John Lennon to give him his first solo number 1, with a song that begins ‘Our life together is so precious together’. The former Beatle had returned to music in 1980, and was talking about his hope for the new decade in his final interviews. The year instead ended with vigils across the globe for a murdered hero.

    Before

    ‘Let’s take a chance and fly away, somewhere.’

    Lennon was born 40 years previous, on 9 October 1940, at Liverpool Maternity Hospital. His childhood was famously a mix tragedy and luck. His father Alfred, a n’e’er-do-well merchant seaman, was away from home at the time. At four, his mother, Julia, gave her sister Mimi custody. Aged six, Lennon’s father visited and attempted to take his estranged son to live in New Zealand with him, but it didn’t happen and there would be no further contact between the two until Beatlemania.

    Raised by the well-to-do Mimi and her husband, Lennon was considered the class clown, and would draw surreal cartoons for his school magazine The Daily Howl. He was regularly visited by Julia, who bought him his first guitar in 1956. Famously, his aunt turned her nose up at this, saying: ‘The guitar’s all very well, John, but you’ll never make a living out of it.’ The 15-year-old Lennon payed no mind to this and started a band – The Quarrymen. In 1957, at a legendary village fete in Woolton, Lennon met Paul McCartney and asked him to join the band.

    Lennon’s mother was killed when she was hit by a car driven by an off-duty policeman who was under the influence. The trauma brought Lennon and McCartney, who had lost his own mother to cancer, closer together, but the already wayward Lennon drowned his sorrows and frequently got into fights. Now a Teddy Boy, he was accepted into the Liverpool College of Art.

    Despite McCartney’s father’s disapproval, Lennon and McCartney began writing songs together. Despite initial reluctance, Lennon agreed to allow George Harrison into the band. The three guitarists’ ranks were soon bolstered by Lennon’s art school friend Stuart Sutcliffe on bass, even though he could hardly play. By 1960, they were The Beatles, and Lennon was their leader. They went to Hamburg for a residency, along with new drummer Pete Best. Three residences in and The Beatles, buoyed by the drug Preludin and playing stupidly long sets, became a force to be reckoned with.

    Brian Epstein became their manager in 1962, and although the rebellious Lennon bristled at the idea of cleaning up their act and donning suits, he relented. When Sutcliffe decided tasty in Hamburg, McCartney took over on bass, and Best was replaced by Ringo Starr before their debut single on Parlophone, Love Me Do.

    From The Beatles rise to fame, through to Beatlemania and the British Invasion, Lennon was their acerbic leader. Brilliantly witty, sarcastic, and prone to many unfortunate ‘cripple’ impressions, he and McCartney were the greatest songwriting team of all time. Writing most of their early work together, they co-wrote three number 1 singles in 1963 – From Me to You, She Loves You (the greatest 60s chart-topper) and I Want to Hold Your Hand.

    In 1964 The Beatles released their first film – A Hard Day’s Night. Lennon wrote the film and accompanying LP’s title track, and also the 1964 Christmas number 1, I Feel Fine, which featured feedback from Lennon in the intro. The Beatles had begun to widen their sonic palette.

    By 1965, despite being at the peak of their commercial fame, Lennon was feeling disillusioned. He was overweight, exhausted by Beatlemania and literally crying out for help, which translated into the title track of their second film – not that their screaming fans were noticing – they were too busy shaking their heads to yet another pop classic. He and Harrison took LSD for the first time, and further experimentation came from one of their greatest mid-period songs, Ticket to Ride – another primarily Lennon song, and another number 1. But in a sign that Lennon and McCartney were growing apart as songwriting partners, they disagreed on their Christmas single, resulting in the former’s Day Tripper sharing equal billing with We Can Work It Out – although Lennon came up with the pleading middle eight of McCartney’s track.

    1966 was a tumultuous year for the Fab Four. An interview with Lennon about the decreasing popularity of the church was blown out of all proportion, resulting in a rare public apology, most likely forced on him by Epstein. Nevertheless, records were burned, and Lennon was threatened. All this, plus the group exhaustion with their endless touring, resulting in a decision that would ultimately change popular music. They didn’t go public with the decision, but that August, they stopped performing for audiences. Despite all this, they entered their imperial phase of studio recording. Lennon was integral in this, contributing the concept of backwards recording in Rain and then the amazing experimentation of Tomorrow Never Knows.

    The increasingly pioneering sounds coming out of Abbey Road contributed to the cultural zeitgeist of the Summer of Love in 1967. Although perhaps their single finest record – Lennon’s Strawberry Fields Forever, combined with Penny Lane – failed to top the charts, they were at the peak of their creative powers, releasing Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. And Lennon was responsible for the anthemic number 1 All You Need Is Love, too. But Lennon was lost in constant use of LSD, and later said it came close to erasing his identity. This and the loss of Epstein resulted in McCartney increasingly looking like the band’s new leader, and this started to cause problems.

    Lennon’s wife Cynthia found her husband at home with the artist Yoko Ono in May 1968, after they had recorded what became the experimental LP Two Virgins. Soon, the duo were inseparable, for most of the rest of his life. This inevitably had an impact on the already often strained relationships of The Beatles, who wrote and recorded much of their eponymous double album as solo songs, which the rest of the band would merely provide backing to. Although Lennon and Ono were turned on to heroin, his decreasing use of LSD saw a return to his more fiery personality. While more experimental than ever on the sound collage of Revolution 9 and the unreleased What’s the New Mary Jane?, Lennon’s pop dominance of the band had decreased so much, he only contributed one song to the two number 1 singles in 1968, and Revolution was relegated to the B-side of Hey Jude – written by McCartney to give comfort to Lennon’s son, Julian, while his parents divorced.

    While Peter Jackson’s Get Back has proved that the Let It Be sessions of early 1969 weren’t as miserable as the world was led to believe, the initial sessions were an often bleak affair, yet by the time of their last public appearance on the rooftop of Apple Studios, Lennon was in his element, offering surreal banter inbetween their set, which featured one of his best later-Beatles-period songs, Don’t Let Me Down.

    Relieved that the project was over, The Beatles splintered. Relations between the four were not fab, as Lennon persuaded Harrison and Starr to sign Allen Klein as their new manager, while McCartney relented. Lennon focused on Ono, developing their new project, the Plastic Ono Band. Most of the duo’s material between 1969 and 1974 was credited to this revolving line-up, featuring, at various points, Harrison, Starr, Eric Clapton, Klaus Voorman and Keith Moon. Lennon and Ono married that March, resulting in the last Beatles number 1 in the band’s lifetime – The Ballad of John and Yoko. The first Plastic Ono Band release was the anti-war classic Give Peace a Chance, in July, which peaked at two. The band went on a brief hiatus while The Beatles recorded what was to be their swansong. Lennon was absent for some of the sessions after a car accident with Ono, but his raunchy Come Together was promoted to an A-side.

    With Abbey Road in the can, Lennon went back to concentrating on his new band, and privately decided he was going to leave The Beatles. The grim account of heroin withdrawal, Cold Turkey, followed, then the concert recording Live Peace in Toronto 1969 was released as the 60s – and unbeknownst to the world – The Beatles, drew to a close. The dream was over.

    The 70s got off to a great start for Lennon, releasing perhaps his greatest post-Beatles single, Instant Karma!, which began a long working relationship with the unhinged Phil Spector. McCartney angered Lennon, by announcing he had left The Beatles, as publicity for his first solo album. Lennon had been working through primal therapy, resulting in the raw, often painfully honest eponymous album John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band, one of the last lyrics of which was ‘Don’t believe in Beatles’.

    In 1971, Lennon and McCartney were publicly fighting via song, resulting in the bitter How Do You Sleep? on Lennon’s best solo LP, Imagine. That August he and Ono moved to live in New York and began their association with radical left-wing politics. President Richard Nixon’s administration became determined to deport him. At Christmas the couple released their festive classic Happy Xmas (War Is Over) with the Harlem Community Choir.

    Over the next few years, Lennon’s commercial standing began to drop, with he and Ono releasing the highly political but average Some Time in New York City with Elephant’s Memory in 1972. Then aLennon self-produced and released the decidedly poor Mind Games in late-1973 – although the title track is excellent. He and Ono’s marital problems resulted in their separation, and the start of an 18-month period immortalised as the ‘Lost Weekend’, in which he had a relationship with his and Ono’s personal assistant, May Pang. Lennon ran wild, often with Harry Nilsson, drinking heavily and making headlines.

    During that time he released Walls and Bridges, featuring one of his best solo songs, #9 Dream. Elton John featured on Whatever Gets You thru the Night – his first US number 1. Lennon had made a bet that that if the single topped the charts, he’d perform live with John, which he duly did. Lennon and Ono were reunited in 1975, and he co-wrote and performed on David Bowie’s first US number 1, Fame. But following Rock ‘n’ Roll, a covers album, in 1975, Lennon went on hiatus to help raise his and Ono’s son, Sean, and would only record the occasional demo when inspiration took hold.

    When McCartney released the single Coming Up in 1980, Lennon was impressed and even said so publicly, with the former Beatles having made amends and occasionally meeting during the 70s. Then in June, Lennon was involved in a sailing trip which was hit by a storm. As all the crew fell ill, Lennon was forced to take control, and the incident affected him profoundly. His confidence restored, and with a newfound zest for life, he decided to release a new album with his wife – their first since Some Time in New York City.

    Ono approached producer Jack Douglas with a batch of demos, and that August they started recording in secret at New York City’s Hit Factory, as Lennon was concerned the sessions might not be good enough. By September they were more confident and went public that they were back. The newly formed Geffen Records was successful, thanks in part to David Geffen making it clear he regarded Ono’s contributions as the same quality as Lennon’s.

    With its warm, nostalgic 50s feel and lyrics about rejuvenation, it made perfect sense to place (Just Like) Starting Over at the start of Double Fantasy, and to make it his comeback single. The song’s origins began with the demo recordings Don’t Be Crazy and My Life. Lennon wrote Starting Over, as it was originally called, in Bermuda, and despite being recorded on 9 August, it was one of the last songs to be completed for the album, mixed at the Record Plant on 25 and 26 September. Featuring on the recording are David Bowie’s guitarist Earl Slick, Hugh McCracken, also on guitar, King Crimson’s Tony Levin on bass, keyboardist George Small, Sly and the Family Stone drummer Andy Newmark and Arthur Jenkins on percussion. Providing the doo-wop-style backing vocals are Michelle Simpson, Cassandra Wooten, Cheryl Manson Jacks and Eric Troyer.

    Review

    (Just Like) Starting Over (the extra bit in brackets was added to avoid confusion with Dolly Parton’s Starting Over Again) begins with a deliberate callback to Mother, the opening track on John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band 10 years previous. Whereas the bells that toll on Mother are slow and foreboding, and reminiscent of a funeral bell, the ringing here is light and airy, and (sadly ironically) herald a hopeful, optimistic Lennon, softened by years of time as a father and absent from the music business. His fire seems to be gone, he’s retreated into the rock’n’roll of his youth, and he’s perfectly content with that. And so am I.

    Lennon might not have thought (Just Like) Starting Over was the best track on Double Fantasy, but it’s one of the strongest on what is otherwise a pretty average album. Had he not been out of the public eye for so long, this track wouldn’t have had that added poignancy, and wouldn’t have sounded out of place on Rock ‘n’ Roll, that ropey collection of mostly poor covers that soundtracked his youth. Gone is one of the best voices of his generation, as Lennon ramps the pastiche levels up even more by singing in a style that brings to mind Elvis Presley and Roy Orbison. Sure, this idealistic vision of Lennon and Ono is schmaltzy, saccharine and most likely somewhat false, but it’s rather charming and lovely. And of course, in hindsight, those lyrics are desperately sad. Thumbs down to the awfully mixed backing vocals, though. Was it a failed attempt by Douglas to capture that echoey 50s sound?

    After

    (Just Like) Starting Over was released in the UK on 23 October, and a day later in the US. Riding on a wave of goodwill as the world welcomed back an old friend, the single was Lennon’s strongest performing record in the UK since Happy Xmas (War Is Over), which had reached four in 1971. It peaked at eight, and although reviews for Double Fantasy were warning that Lennon had lost his bite (and he was looking older than his years and was painfully thin), the future looked bright. He and Ono had recorded enough material for a follow-up, and with his confidence returning, maybe we’d see some of that fire return. Of course, we’ll never know.

    Lennon’s comeback single had slipped to 21 here, and six in the US by 8 December, but promotional work continued for Double Fantasy, released a few weeks prior. At around 5pm, he was stopped outside his home, the Dakota building, by a random fan. Lennon was photographed signing a copy of his new album for the grinning Mark Chapman, and then left with Ono for a session at the Record Plant. At approximately 10.50pm Lennon and Ono returned and were walking through the archway of the Dakota, when Chapman shot him twice in the back and twice more in the shoulder at close range. Lennon was pronounced dead less than half an hour later.

    Shocked, confused and in mourning, the world chose to pay tribute to Lennon, who had soundtracked the lives of so many, by listening to his music. In much the same way his hero Buddy Holly’s It Doesn’t Matter Anymore became a posthumous chart-topper after his untimely death, (Just Like) Starting Over inevitably began to sell once more. 12 days after his death, Lennon had his first solo number 1. Such was the magnitude of his loss, it wouldn’t be his last.

    The Outro

    In 2010 Ono and Douglas released Double Fantasy Stripped Down, which was an attempt to wipe away the studio sheen of the original album. The version of (Just Like) Starting Over is thankfully free of those odd backing vocals, and is OK but pretty inconsequential.

    The Info

    Written by

    John Lennon

    Producers

    John Lennon, Yoko Ono & Jack Douglas

    Weeks at number 1

    1 (20-26 December)

    Trivia

    Births

    20 December: Footballer Ashley Cole/Footballer Fitz Hall
    21 December: Scottish actress Louise Linton

    Deaths

    20 December: Locomotive engineer Roland Bond/Footballer Tom Waring
    22 December: Magician Lewis Ganson/Physician Thomas Cecil Hunt
    23 December: Playwright Frank Norman/Anglican bishop Ambrose Reeves
    25 December: Comedian Fred Emney/Explorer Quintin Riley

    Meanwhile…

    26 December: Sightings of unexplained lights near RAF Woodbridge in Suffolk became known as the ‘Rendlesham Forest Incident’ – the most famous reported UFO sightings in the UK.

    470. ABBA – Super Trouper (1980)

    The Intro

    Although ABBA still had a few years left in the tank, Super Trouper was their ninth and last number 1 to date. What a run. This is the story of their last chart-topper, their final act and their triumphant return as avatars in the 21st century.

    Before

    Super Trouper was the final track that Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus wrote for their seventh LP. Unusually, the album was already to have that name, which it shares with a type of stage spotlight once for large venues, that was once considered the brightest in the world. This song had the working title of Blinka Lilla Stjärna (Swedish for Twinkle Little Star), but as Andersson and Ulvaeus noticed how well the album title fitted with the chorus, so it became Super Trouper, and it replaced Put On Your White Sombrero to become the title track.

    Although not as obvious as The Winner Takes It All, the song features references to Ulvaeus and Agnetha Fältskog’s marriage coming to an end. In the first verse, ‘I was sick and tired of everything/When I called you last night from Glasgow’ referred to Ulvaeus missing his then-wife during promo work in the Scottish city. With this in mind, and the song’s central theme of a pop star who wants to get off the road and be with his loved one, you can consider Super Trouper a rather poignant goodbye to Fältskog from Ulvaeus. However, if that was the intention, it’s half-hidden and mixed in with the conceit of the pop star knowing that somewhere in the crowd is the one they love.

    Review

    Super Trouper is a suitably great way for ABBA to bow out of this blog. It’s classic ABBA, featuring a beautiful plaintive piano melody from Andersson and a yearning sound to the verses, before turning into a mix of synth-disco and schlager music for the chorus – the latter coming from the backing vocals. I’m not normally a fan of ABBA when they dip into schlager, but it’s irresistibly catchy here.

    Lasse Hallström’s videos are usually reliably interesting, and Super Trouper is no exception. It features their biggest cast yet – a circus troupe, as displayed on the sleeve art, shown above. Mostly, it’s ABBA performing in front of loads of disco lights, interspersed with an annoyingly frequent moustachioed man controlling a ‘super trouper’, a very badly animated Andersson and an amazingly horrible jumper sported by Anni-Frid Lyngstad.

    After

    Super Trouper made ABBA the fourth biggest act for UK chart-toppers ever, with nine, behind only The Beatles, Elvis Presley and Cliff Richard. They held this position until Madonna went to number 1 with Music in 2000. They now share the eighth spot for most number 1s with the Spice Girls and Rihanna. This single is their second biggest selling in the UK, behind only Dancing Queen.

    It was one of the biggest singles of Christmas 1980, and may have perhaps even made it to Christmas number 1 had John Lennon not been murdered while it was top of the hit parade. It even spawned a famous festive Woolworth advert one year later.

    ABBA followed up Super Trouper with another classic, Lay All Your Love on Me, which peaked at seven. It was, at the time, the biggest-selling 12″ ever.

    1981 was an eventful year for the group. Ulvaeus remarried in January, and Andersson and Lyngstad divorced, followed by Andersson remarrying that November. The same month saw the release of The Visitors, which was to be ABBA’s last album for 40 years. With lyrics exploring the Cold War and the complexities relationships, it was their most mature work yet. The lead single, One of Us, peaked at three and was their last top 10 single for 40 years.

    In 1982 ABBA released a compilation, over-optimistically titled The Singles: The First Ten Years, which included the acclaimed new single The Day Before You Came. Their last public appearance together for many years was on Noel Edmonds’ The Late, Late Breakfast Show that year. The group never officially announced they had split, and even denied for some time, but Fältskog and Lyngstad worked on solo albums, while Ulvaeus and Andersson began working with Tim Rice on the musical Chess.

    10 years after ABBA’s last singles, some of their most popular songs were at number 1 thanks to synth-pop duo Erasure, who released their Abba-esque EP and helped kickstart an irony laden ABBA revival in the 90s, that has never really gone away. This was thanks also in no small part to the release one of the bestselling compilations of all-time – ABBA Gold: Greatest Hits, the same year. Westlife’s cover of I Have a Dream, paired up with Seasons in the Sun, was the final UK number 1 of the 20th century.

    Fältskog, Lyngstad, Ulvaeus and Andersson were not seen in public together again until the Stockholm premiere of the musical Mamma Mia! in 2005. In the same month, Madonna released Hung Up, featuring a sample of Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight), which became her 11th chart-topper. Three years later, Mamma Mia! became a film, and although ABBA were together again for the premiere, they said they would never reform as a band.In 2016, the ice began to thaw. ABBA briefly appeared on stage again at a private party to mark 50 years since their songwriters first met. That year, Simon Fuller also announced a new project – ABBAtars – which would feature the group in avatar form. Two years later – the same year as musical sequel Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again was released – ABBA shocked the world. At last, they were to release new songs, to coincide with a TV special. However, the programme was cancelled, but although the next few years saw plans delayed in large part due to COVID-19, news of further new material leaked.

    Finally in 2021, ABBA released a new album. Voyage was preceded by the singles I Still Have Faith in You and Don’t Shut Me Down. Although, perhaps surprisingly, they didn’t return to number 1 in the UK singles chart, the country, like the rest of the world, were much in need of reconnecting with one of the most popular bands of all time. Perhaps wisely, the group adopted a different approach to promotion. The long-awaited avatar project came to fruition, with a concert residency inside ABBA Arena, a custom-built venue at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in London. ABBA were immortalised just as they looked in 1979, but with newly recorded vocals, as motion capture digital avatars, backed by a 10-piece band, edited by one of former housemates when I was at university, which boggled my mind when I found out. ABBA’s fans had the opportunity to relive their favourite songs, and if they were to close their eyes or suspend their imagination, ABBA were back in their glory. Andersson confirmed in 2022 that this would be the final ABBA project. In 2023 their longtime guitarist, the unsung Lasse Wellander, died at the age of 70.

    The Outro

    For many years, I was turned off by ABBA. I found much of their work too cheesy, over-rated and prone to being covered by a range of awful groups (Erasure were not one of them. Westlife, they definitely were). Their schlager music left me cold, even if I recognised Dancing Queen as a classic.

    One benefit of this blog is the way it has helped shed new light on artists I might previously have rejected. ABBA are one of those. Some of their 70s number 1s helped raise the bar among some seriously lacklustre chart-toppers, particularly in 1976. And it’s perhaps only with the passing of time and certain experiences that you can appreciate that underlying or often blatant sadness at the heart of some truly amazing and even painful songwriting. I was, frankly, a fool to under-appreciate ABBA. I am prone to being a music slob, and questioning the British public for buying records I’d have run a mile from. In ABBA’s case, I have been well and truly humbled.

    What far-reaching effect the concept of avatar concerts may have in years to come on other, perhaps long dead musical acts, remains to be seen.

    The Info

    Written & produced by

    Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus

    Weeks at number 1

    3 (29 November-19 December)

    Trivia

    Births

    6 December: Footballer Steve Lovell
    7 December: Footballer John Terry
    8 December: Actor Nick Nevern
    15 December: Actor Neil McDermott/Kasabian guitarist Sergio Pizzorno
    16 December: Actor Michael Jobson

    Deaths

    29 November: Historian Joel Hurstfield
    2 December: Labour Party MP Patrick Gordon Walker
    3 December: British Union of Fascists leader Oswald Mosley
    4 December: Cricketer Geoffrey Cooke
    6 December: Novelist Margot Bennett
    8 December: Beatles singer-songwriter John Lennon (see ‘Meanwhile…’)
    10 December: Writer Philip MacDonald
    11 December: Novelist Margaret Malcolm
    12 December: Businessman Sir Jules Thorn
    13 December: Anthropologist John Morris/Labour Party MP Harry Pursey
    14 December: Physician Sir Weldon Dalrymple-Champneys, 2nd Baronet/Scottish cricketer Forbes Jones
    16 December: Jazz trombonist Keith Christie/film director Peter Collins
    17 December: Artist Elsie Few
    18 December: Writer Ben Travers

    Meanwhile…

    8 December: The UK joined the world in mourning the unexpected and shocking loss of John Lennon, founder of The Beatles and only 40 when shot dead by Mark Chapman outside the Dakota, his home in New York.

    14 December: Thousands of fans mourned Lennon in Liverpool, his birthplace, with a 10-minute vigil.

    18 December: Labour leader Michael Foot got off to a promising start in his new role, with a MORI poll showing his party leading the Conservatives by 24 points.

    465. The Jam – Start! (1980)

    The Intro

    Love The Beatles’ Taxman but find the whining about paying HMRC when you’re in the biggest band in the world a bit annoying? Simple, listen to The Jam’s second number 1, Start! instead.

    Before

    Following the success of Going Underground/The Dreams of Children, The Jam set to work on their fifth LP. Vic Coppersmith-Heaven was back to produce Sound Affects, but for the first time, Paul Weller, Bruce Foxton and Rick Buckler received a co-credit too – albeit as ‘The Jam’. As signposted with The Dreams of Children, The Jam were widening their sonic palette, and after its release, Weller described his favourite Jam album as a cross between Michael Jackson’s Off the Wall and The Beatles’ Revolver.

    The influence of the latter is certainly evident on Start!, which was released in August while work continued on Sound Affects. Weller’s guitar and Foxton’s bass riffs were pretty much identical to the opening track of Revolver. George Harrison’s Taxman was an excellent opener to one of the greatest albums of all time, and showcased Harrison’s burgeoning talent. But as great as Taxman is, there’s no escaping the fact it also makes very evident how much of a moaner he could be. I’m sure paying an admittedly ridiculously high rate (95%!) of income tax to Harold Wilson’s new Labour government must have stung… and the Fab Four had been warned that despite their unprecedented fame, they were in danger of bankruptcy. But starting a new album complaining about money, when the average record buyer could only dream of their lifestyle? It’s certainly a bold move, and another sign that The Beatles were now charting their own path. But you can’t deny the musical brilliance of Taxman, particularly McCartney’s powerful rhythmic bass and blistering Indian-style guitar solo.

    In a 2012 interview with Music Radar, Foxton said:

    ‘It wasn’t intentional, but Taxman subconsciously went in and when we came up with the idea for Start! that’s what went in. It isn’t exactly the same thankfully, otherwise I’m sure Paul McCartney would have thought about suing us!’

    It’s not exactly the same, but you can’t get much closer. And considering the deluxe edition of Sound Affects also contains covers of Rain and And Your Bird Can Sing, recorded at the same sessions, it’s more likely that they jammed Taxman and enjoyed it so much, they reworked it. And they got lucky that Harrison, who had been to court over his 1971 number 1 My Sweet Lord in 1976 and lost more than a million in damages due to its likeness to He’s So Fine. He apparently considered Start! a compliment, but he probably didn’t relish going back to court over his music, this time as prosecution.

    There are two main differences, and the main one is the lyrics. In Jon Kutner and Spencer Leigh’s 2005 book 1000 UK #1 Hits, Weller said he had been reading George Orwell’s Homage to Catalonia (1938), detailing the author’s experience of the Spanish Civil War:

    ‘There is a lot of talk of an egalitarian society where all people are equal but this was it, actually in existence, which, for me, is something that is very hard to imagine.’

    With this in mind, it seems Start! may have been written from the point of view of a Republican soldier, who briefly meets a fellow believer in their cause. Knowing that they’re at risk of dying for their beliefs means they could only know each other for a few minutes, so they don’t need to know much about each other, apart from that they feel so strongly for their cause, ‘with a passion called hate’ against the Nationalists. The Republicans consisted of socialists, communists and anarchists, so there was as much infighting as seen within the Labour Party during Jeremy Corbyn’s time as leader.

    ‘And what you give is what you get’ can be seen as a rallying cry for the Republicans, and in line with Weller’s increasingly left-wing tendencies, perhaps a call for solidarity among Labour in 1980, as their left-wing leader Michael Foot wasn’t popular among the right of the party. Same as it ever was.

    Or, it could just have been about a one-night stand, lasting all of two minutes. Take your pick.

    Review

    Another great 1980 number 1 from Weller and co here. It’s short, sweet and doesn’t outstay its welcome, just like Going Underground. And it also shows a growing versatility. Yes, it’s not very original, but the soul bounce of Start! proves there’s more to The Jam than their rockier material, and it really shows off how effective that rhythm section was. In a way they come out of this better than Weller, as his guitar solo doesn’t compare to McCartney’s on Taxman – even with that added backwards section. Great track though and a breath of fresh air, particularly the way it reverts back to the punch of the main tune after the last ‘If I never ever see you…’ section.

    The video to Start! was a typically low-budget, straightforward affair focusing on the trio doing what they did best – playing music.

    After

    Polydor wanted album opener Pretty Green to be the first single, but The Jam pushed for Start! and were proved right when it spent a week at number 1. Sound Affects was released in November, featuring added (and unnecessary) trumpets as the song draws to a close. No other official singles were released from the LP, but The Jam were so popular, That’s Entertainment peaked at 21 as an import. However, it would be 1982 before they topped the charts again.

    The Outro

    The psychedelic pop of Sound Affects was soon abandoned with a focus on 60s R’n’B, later to be explored on their final album, The Gift.

    The Info

    Written by

    Paul Weller

    Producers

    Vic Coppersmith-Heaven & The Jam

    Weeks at number 1

    1 (6-12 September)

    Trivia

    Births

    6 September: Atomic Kitten singer Kerry Katona
    11 September: Academic Anthony Carrigan
    12 September: Rugby league player Kevin Sinfield

    Deaths

    6 September: Art curator Philip Hendy
    7 September: Conservative Party MP Reginald Manningham-Buller, 1st Viscount Dilhorne
    8 September: Northern Irish singer Eddie Butcher/Liberal Party MP Sir Geoffrey Shakespeare, 1st Baronet
    10 September: Academic TE Jessop
    11 September: Conservative Party MP Sir Harwood Harrison, 1st Baronet
    12 September: Legal scholar Sir Rupert Cross

    Meanwhile…

    11 September: Chicago mobster Joseph Scalise and his colleague Arthur Rachel committed the Marlborough diamond robbery in London. The following day, the duo were arrested in Chicago, but the 45-carat stone has never been found.

    12 September: Consett Steelworks in Consett, County Durham closed down, costing the town some 4,500 jobs.

    464. David Bowie – Ashes to Ashes (1980)

    The Intro

    Is this where 80s pop music truly began? Much as David Bowie’s first number 1 Space Oddity bid farewell to the 60s, its sequel Ashes to Ashes saw ‘the Action Man’ put a full stop on his most experimental period, while future New Romantics took note.

    Before

    Not that his best-selling single achieved the top spot when the public first heard the tale of Major Tom in 1969. It was a 1975 reissue by RCA, released after his album Young Americans. Soon after the re-release came Golden Years, a bridge between the blue-eyed soul of the last LP and his next, which peaked at eight. But as great as the new material was, Bowie was becoming more and more addicted to cocaine. Weight was falling off his already slender body, he wasn’t sleeping, and his brain was flirting with an unhealthy interest in fascism.

    All this and an upcoming starring role as an alien in an adaptation of The Man Who Fell to Earth resulted in his latest character, the Thin White Duke. He later claimed to have no memory of recording his next album. That one of his greatest albums, Station to Station, was the result, is insane. A brilliant mix of soul, funk, balladry and krautrock, this LP was another sign of what was to come – the so-called ‘Berlin Trilogy’.

    Whether the ‘Victoria Station Incident’, where Bowie may or may not have greeted fans with a Nazi salute, happened or not, the controversy suggested the Thin White Duke was entering dangerous territory. However, his decision to move to West Berlin in 1976 along with partner-in-crime Iggy Pop was actually an attempt to get better. Working with Brian Eno and Tony Visconti, Bowie took his interest in krautrock further than before, and released Low, recorded in France, in 1977.

    Despite Low’s reputation, there is still great pop amongst the ambient and experimental music within. Most explicitly, Sound and Vision, which despite the long instrumental opening and spacey sound, was catchy as hell, and became one of his bestselling 70s hits, reaching three, despite a distinct lack of promotion.

    The next LP, “Heroes”, was the only full Bowie album actually recorded in Berlin. But although this time was fully on board with promoting his latest work, the title track, now rightly considered one of his greatest songs, surprisingly only got as far as 24. Now cleaner, if not 100% clean of drugs, Bowie was increasingly busy, touring the material from Low and “Heroes” and releasing a recording – Stage – in 1978, as well as narrating a recording of Peter and the Wolf.

    Recorded in the latter stage of his Isolar II world tour, Lodger, released in 1979, ditched the ambient instrumentals of his previous Berlin Trilogy work, and was a mix of new wave and world music. Lodger is underrated, and features great material, including number seven hit Boys Keep Swinging.

    In December 1979, Bowie, perhaps with the 10-year anniversary of Space Oddity in mind, re-recorded his 1975 number 1 for Will Kenny Everett Ever Make It to 1980? Show. Stripped down to acoustic guitar, bass, drums and piano, this sparse mix was released as a B-side to his insane cover of Alabama Song. Released in February 1980, somehow this single reached 23. Probably because of the novelty factor of an alternative version of Space Oddity, rather than the A-side.

    Returning to Space Oddity got Bowie thinking. What happened to Major Tom, as that song faded away and Ground Control lost contact? In a promo interview for the subsequent album Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps), Bowie said ‘We come to him 10 years later and find the whole thing has soured, because there was no reason for putting him up there… The most disastrous thing I could think of is that he finds solace in some kind of heroin-type drug, actually cosmic space feeding him: an addiction. He wants to return to the womb from whence he came.’ Sound familiar? Bowie reached for the stars, got what he strived for, and ended up losing touch with himself, strung out in heaven’s high, hitting an all-time Low – literally.

    Bowie was already reaching into his past for Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps). He was reworking old demos of unfinished songs. In 2022, the box set Divine Symmetry was released, featuring early Hunky Dory material and fragments of songs that he returned to nine years later. Tired of My Life became eventual album opener It’s No Game Pt 1, and 30 seconds into a track called King of the City, you can plainly hear what became the middle-eight of Ashes to Ashes. It’s a fascinating listen.

    When the sessions for Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) began at the Power Station in New York in February 1980, no lyrics existed for Ashes to Ashes, or People Are Turning to Gold, as it was called then, just lots of ‘la la las’. Interesting to wonder what the song would have become if this title had remained. The band assembled was the same as for his last four albums – Carlos Alomar on guitar, George Murray on bass and Dennis Davis on drums. Also contributing were pianist Roy Bittan from Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band – who were recording The River next door – and Chuck Hammer, who played guitar synthesiser.

    While Alomar set to work playing reggae, and Murray put down a funky baseline with some slapping, Davis understandably struggled with the ska drumbeat Bowie envisioned. The singer demonstrated with a chair and cardboard box, which Davis learned and laid down the following day. Visconti originally wanted Bittan’s piano lines to be recorded on a Wurlitzer electric piano, but after discovering it would take too long to get hold of the instrument, he instead ran the grand piano through an Eventide Instant Flanger, which created that distinctive, wonky riff the rhythm is built around. Hammer, who had toured with Lou Reed and was hired for his inventive ‘guitarchitecture’, created and layered four different multi-track guitar textures, each receiving different treatments through an Eventide Harmoniser (which Visconti had famously claimed ‘fucks with the fabric of time’ for extra reverb.

    So far, so good. So very, very good. But unlike his recent albums, where Bowie wrote the lyrics often immediately after the backing tracks, he took his time on Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps). The band reconvened in April at Visconti’s Good Earth Studios in London. Visconti added additional percussion, plus keyboard parts by session keyboardist Andy Clark. Everyone involved knew they had something special upon completion, and it was inevitable this would be the lead single from the LP.

    Review

    Bowie wrote lots of great music after Ashes to Ashes, but it’s most probably his final absolute classic, in effect waving goodbye to a decade of startling creativity. In his excellent Bowie blog, Pushing Ahead of the Dame, Chris O’Leary has a very good point in calling it his last song. It’s a dark nursery rhyme, full of strange phrasing, vocal lines, and imagery, all underpinned by quirky, infectious groove. ‘Do you remember a guy that’s been/In such an early song?’ is an odd opening gambit for the listener. But it’s only the start, as Ground Control reveals the rumour is true: ‘They got a message from the action man’. And while ‘I’m happy, hope you’re happy too’ bodes well, the lyrics get murkier, but make it clear that Major Tom needs bringing down to earth….

    ‘The shrieking of nothing is killing, just
    Pictures of Jap girls in synthesis and I
    Ain’t got no money and I ain’t got no hair
    But I’m hoping to kick but the planet it’s glowing’

    What surreal, bleak imagery, and a bridge like no other in the annals of number 1s. What makes it all the more remarkable is how it sounds – Bowie’s deadpan intonation sounds in danger of causing the already complex tune to fall apart. And underneath, ghostly backing vocals, possibly repeating Major Tom, it’s hard to tell at this point.

    The almost comical moroseness of the chorus, masked in a creepy nursery rhyme, of course, totally hits the spot, and you can’t help but think of Major Tom, floating in a tin can, and the mirror image of Bowie, weighing six-stone, living off cocaine and milk and dabbling with the occult, as he was in the mid-70s, when Space Oddity was at the top of the hit parade.

    Things get even weirder in the second verse, with Bowie’s chilling falsetto revealing that Major Tom can’t beat his addiction. ‘But the little green wheels are following me/Oh no, not again’ – what a ridiculous, sublime way to detail drug dependency.

    In the next bridge, Bowie’s ‘valuable friend’ is louder, and it’s apparent he is just repeating himself, right down to the deadpan ‘Woh-o-woh’. It’s just occurred to me that ‘out of the blue’ could be taken literally – that Major Tom, since swapping the blue sky of Earth for the stars, has been content to live as a junkie, and essentially done nothing since he ‘really made the grade’.

    I forget where, but someone once pointed out that ‘Wanna come down right now’ signifies Bowie’s need to figuratively get back to living clean but also signposts his 80s direction as a relatively straight-edge pop superstar. Whether it was intentional or not, it’s a very good point.

    As Ashes to Ashes descends into malevolent childish chanting of its close, and the already amazing production breaks out into ghostly synths, you can picture Major Tom’s ship either flirting further out into the outer reaches of space, or landing back on home soil, a broken man inside, but one that can be saved?

    David Mallet’s groundbreaking video, recorded over three days in May, was the most expensive ever at that point. It remains one of the most costly, with Bowie storyboarding and dictating the editing process. The use of a Quantel Paintbox, soon to be used extensively in film and TV, creates a ghostly alien world of black sky and pink ocean at Beachy Head and Hastings. Bowie is three characters, clown, astronaut and asylum inmate, all of which represent aspects of his past as a mime and, well, the other two are obvious, all things considered. The scenes of Bowie in his spacesuit were deliberately designed to reflect HR Giger’s incredible work in Alien, released the year before.

    While such futurism looks charmingly dated now, a less distant future is also on show, with Steve Strange of Visage walking with Bowie along the sand, as a bulldozer menacingly creeps up behind them. Fellow Blitz Kids Marilyn and Boy George were passed over. If you haven’t heard Bowie superfan Adam Buxton’s telling of a charming anecdote about the filming of this scene, check it out here.

    After

    The album mix of Ashes to Ashes was edited down from 4:23 to 3:35 for the single release, which could be bought in three different picture sleeves, which each contained a sheet of adhesive stamps of Bowie in his Pierrot costume. The variety of ways to buy may well have contributed to its success in the UK, where it became Bowie’s second number 1 for a fortnight in late summer after debuting at four.

    Live performances of Ashes to Ashes were rare through the years, which, considering its complexity, is understandable.

    Major Tom did return briefly to the charts in 1996, courtesy of the Pet Shop Boys remix of Hallo Spaceboy. Initially reticent when told of their plan, he agreed it worked well upon hearing their disco take on the track from 1.Outside.

    The video to Ashes to Ashes remains one of the most influential examples of the medium, and everyone sat up and took notice as to what could be done. Music videos may have existed since the 60s, but in the MTV age, they were about to be ubiquitous.

    The Outro

    Ashes to Ashes was sampled in Samantha Mumba’s top five hit Body II Body in 2000, and again by James Murphy for his remix of Bowie’s own Love Is Lost in 2013. It was also the name of the BBC’s sequel to police drama Life on Mars.

    In late-2015, the surreal video to Bowie’s penultimate single in his lifetime, Blackstar, featured a dead astronaut, discovered by a woman with a tail. She takes his jewel-encrusted skull to a strange alien town, where a circle of women perform a ritual while the astronaut’s bones float towards a solar eclipse. Director Johan Renck said after Bowie’s death he believed the astronaut was meant to be Major Tom.

    The Info

    Written by

    David Bowie

    Producers

    David Bowie & Tony Visconti

    Weeks at number 1

    2 (23 August-5 September)

    Trivia

    Births

    23 August: Actress Joanne Froggatt
    28 August: Chef Rachel Khoo
    4 September: Football coach Michael Beale

    Deaths

    24 August: Actress Yootha Joyce/Linguist Gerard Shelley
    26 August: Olympic swimmer Lucy Morton
    27 August: Suffragette Arabella Scott
    28 August: Academic Roy Pascal
    31 August: Writer Anne Tibble
    1 September: Film director Arthur Greville Collins
    3 September: Surgeon Russell Brock, Baron Brock/Physician Sir George Pickering

    Meanwhile…

    28 August: For the first time since 1935, unemployment stands at 2 million.

    1 September: Ford launches the third generation Escort, which later becomes the best-selling car of the decade in Britain.

    463. ABBA – The Winner Takes It All (1980)

    The Intro

    It had been nearly two years since ABBA had last topped the charts, with the upbeat bounce of Take a Chance on Me. You won’t find any of that in The Winner Takes It All. One of the saddest number 1s you’ll ever hear details the break-up of a relationship – and you don’t have to look far to find the inspiration.

    Before

    ABBA: The Album had cemented the group’s status as one of the biggest and best in the world back in 1978. They converted a disused cinema in their hometown of Stockholm into Polar Music Studio, which would be used by huge acts including Led Zeppelin and Genesis. They also paid tribute to Stockholm with their next single, but Summer Night City proved problematic to record. It would peak at five in the UK. Nonetheless, it would signpost that ABBA’s next LP, Voulez-Vous, would be a further move into disco.

    Not that you’d know that from their next single. The ballad Chiquitita was premiered at the Music for UNICEF charity concert on 9 January 1979, and released in the UK. Although the song gained the highest initial position of any ABBA single (eight), it couldn’t quite hit the top spot, finishing up at two behind Heart of Glass. But it remains one of the most famous charity singles ever.

    While Chiquitita was charting, Björn Ulvaeus and Agnetha Fältskog announced they were getting divorced. Understandably, the media and fans wondered if this meant the end of ABBA, but everyone was reassured they would continue. In fact, it was hoped that now the news was out, they could get back to recording their troubled sixth album. Songwriters Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson decamped to an apartment in the Bahamas and they concentrated on listening to the latest sounds emanating from the US, which were mainly disco.

    Voulez-Vous was released that April, with the next single, Does Your Mother Know, standing out due to Fältskog and Anni-Frid Lyngstad uncharacteristically being relegated to backing vocals. It stalled at four. The title track came next, billed as a double A-side with Angeleyes. Surprisingly, despite the former being one of their most famous and catchiest tunes, couldn’t get higher than three. When the similarly impressive Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) peaked at the same position (released to coincide with their second greatest hits compilation), it may have started to look like perhaps ABBA’s number 1 days were over. Which would have been OK – after all, they had notched up seven, which was more than anyone achieved in the 70s. Their last single that decade, the cheesy I Have a Dream, couldn’t get higher than two.

    Following an enormously successful tour, including six sold-out nights at Wembley Arena, ABBA reconvened in Feb 1980 to start work on their seventh album. Perhaps due to the disco backlash in the US, and the looming divorce, they reverted to a more pop sound, with added mature lyrics that had been hinted at with songs like Knowing Me, Knowing You. Only this time, The Winner Takes It All mirrored Ulvaeus and Fältskog’s personal experiences at least, to a degree.

    Ulvaeus and Andersson had written the first released fruits of Super Trouper in the summer of 1979 in a cottage on the island of Viggsö. Originally called The Story of My Life (a title that scans well with the chorus), The Winner Takes It All started out more uptempo. However, they found the demo too stiff, and when they returned to the song four days later, Andersson had come up with a looser structure and a suitably sadder arrangement thanks to the descending piano line. Impressed, Ulvaeus recorded a new demo and garbled nonsense-French lyrics over the tune (due to its new chanson feel). He then took the recording home and got drunk on whiskey. He later claimed the words to The Winner Takes It All were the quickest he ever wrote, coming to him in a blast of emotion within the hour.

    Ulvaeus has claimed more than once that The Winner Takes It All shouldn’t be taken as a literal recount of his divorce, pointing out that there was no winner or loser in their experience. But he didn’t deny that his sadness over their marriage breakdown had inspired the song to an extent. To quote Knowing Me, Knowing You, ‘Breaking up is never easy’. And it certainly hit home for Fältskog, who shed tears when presented with the lyrics.

    Review

    The sadness in The Winner Takes It All is so real, it can actually be unbearable if it gets you at a bad time. Compare it with What’s Another Year – workmanlike maudlin misery with no sense of authenticity. Ulvaeus’ lyrics are painfully honest – I believe him when he says they’re not directly inspired by what he went through, but good God, there’s no wonder they hit a nerve with poor Fältskog. Those first three lines:

    ‘I don’t wanna talk,
    About things we’ve gone through,
    Though it’s hurting me, now it’s history’.

    Ouch. Likely a fair summation of the mood in Polar Studios, post-divorce, between the former couple. From there, I’m not sure of the levels of fiction involved, but the title of the song and the comparison with a card game suggests some other woman has won her man, or perhaps it’s even about who got what in a court battle. ‘That’s her destiny’ suggests the former, while the references to judges later suggests the latter, so maybe it’s both.

    The second verse talks of the spurned partner’s mistaken sense of security and hopes for the future, but that they now feel they were a fool to play ‘by the rules’. By verse three, she very much does want to talk. She’s angry and is asking those internal questions the mind asks even when the heart is too scared to find out the answer. She wants to know how her ex’s new love compares to her. By the time she gets to her confession she misses him, but is resigned to playing by the rules of the game. She’s lost.

    The final verse, now that’s the hardest part to bear. An apologetic Fältskog feels sorry for making her ex feel sad about how things turned out, and although she’s trying to come to terms with their more formal future (‘And I understand, you’ve come to shake my hand’), it’s too hard. She’s ‘tense, no self-confidence’, but what does she do? She apologises, because she cares still. It’s heart-wrenching.

    As someone who’s only really getting to grips with how great ABBA were, I must admit that previously, I didn’t really care for The Winner Takes It All particularly. Musically, I saw it as another example of ABBA’s high camp and melodramatic tendencies. I knew it was connected to marital woes, but it’s taken middle age and, more importantly, my own divorce to understand just how very real and painful this song is. ABBA were coming to the end of the road, but they approached it with grace and honesty. And I was wrong about the tune too, because it’s actually pretty funky when you really listen – courtesy of the session rhythm section, Ola Brunkert on drums and Mike Watson on bass.

    Ulvaeus’ lyrics are thoughtful, but the same can’t be said for whoever signed off on the video. As usual, their director Lasse Hallström took a very literal approach, and really blurred the lines of truth and fiction. Following black and white images of ABBA in happier times, we cut to a dejected and pained Fältskog in close-up, singing inbetween footage of the rest of the band having a laugh. Her face at the end is almost too much to bear when you consider the video was shot only 10 days after the divorce was officially declared.

    After

    The Winner Takes It All was a worldwide hit, becoming number 1 in the UK, Ireland, Belgium, the Netherlands and South Africa. It also performed well in Austria, France, West Germany and Sweden, and became their final US hit. The signs were very good for the parent album, Super Trouper.

    The Outro

    Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan’s rendition of ABBA’s penultimate number 1 from their series The Trip is well worth a watch if you’d rather not get too caught up in the inherent misery of the song.

    The Info

    Writers & producers

    Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus

    Weeks at number 1

    2 (9-22 August)

    Trivia

    Births

    19 August: Actor Adam Campbell/Singer Darius Danesh

    Deaths

    9 August: Comedian Audrey Jeans
    10 August: Philosopher Gareth Evans
    18 August: Rower Harold Kitching
    20 August: Historian AK Hamilton Jenkin/Historian Dame Lucy Sutherland
    21 August: Actor Norman Shelley

    Meanwhile…

    11 August: Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher visits Harold Hill in East London to hand over the keys to the 12,000th council tenants to buy their home under the right to buy scheme. When she does so, she’s booed by neighbours of the family in East London.
    Also that day, Tyne and Wear Metro opens on Tyneside.

    16 August: The Denmark Place fire kills 37 people of eight nationalities, after an arson attack. Petty criminal John Thompson was thrown out of The Spanish Place – one of two unlicensed bars on the top two floors of 18 Denmark Place (Rodo’s was the other). He found a container, hailed a taxi to a petrol station, filled it with petrol, poured it through the letterbox of the venue, and threw a lit piece of paper inside. The fire swept through the building so quickly, many inside died on the spot.

    20 August: 47-year-old Marguerite Walls became Peter Sutcliffe’s 12th known victim, strangled to death on her way home from work in Leeds.

    461. Olivia Newton-John/Electric Light Orchestra – Xanadu (from the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) (1980)

    The Intro

    The 1980 musical fantasy Xanadu was a box office failure, even inspiring the Golden Raspberry Awards. But the soundtrack album, featuring Olivia Newton-John, Electric Light Orchestra, Cliff Richard and the Tubes, was a global smash. And the theme gave Newton-John her third chart-topper and – surprisingly – ELO’s sole number 1.

    Before

    1978 was a mammoth year for Newton-John. The Australian pop star and actress became a superstar thanks to her role as Sandy in Grease. And together with co-lead John Travolta, she was a chart mainstay, with two lengthy number 1s – You’re the One That I Want and Summer Nights. So enduring was the image of Newton-John, sexed-up and dressed in tight black leather at the film’s finale, she adopted it for her next LP, Too Hot, released at the end of the year. Its first single, A Little More Love, was a worldwide hit and peaked at four. But 1979 was a barren year for UK singles success.

    She began 1980 by duetting with Andy Gibb on I Can’t Help It in the US, as well as a TV special – Hollywood Nights. Then came Xanadu. Originally conceived as a low-budget film cashing in on the roller-disco craze, it grew in scale as big names joined the production, most notably Newton-John and the legendary dancer Gene Kelly, in what was toby his final role.

    Xanadu, directed by Robert Greenwald, was based on the 1947 movie Down to Earth, which also featured Kelly. The new film was named after the nightclub setting, which in turn referenced Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s 1816 poem Kubla Khan. However, the filming ran into difficulties due in large part to several script changes. The soundtrack LP was split, with tracks by Newton-John (plus Richard, the Tubes and Kelly) on side one. All tracks there were written by John Farrar, who before writing You’re the One That I Want had been in The Shadows. Side two exclusively featured ELO, with the final song featuring both acts together on the title track.

    ELO was originally conceived by Roy Wood, singer-songwriter in 1969 chart-toppers The Move. He spoke to fellow Brummie Jeff Lynne of psychedelic pop act The Idle Race, about a new group that would ‘pick up where The Beatles left off’, employing classical instruments on a full-time basis. Lynne liked the idea but was determined to try and find fame with his own group rather than join The Move to get things started. But by January 1970, when Trevor Burton left The Move, he’d changed his mind – on the condition that he and Wood concentrated on their new project – the Electric Light Orchestra.

    That summer, a track intended to be a B-side for The Move developed into the first ELO track. And what a debut 10538 Overture was, when it finally hit the shops in 1972. Written by Lynne, with around 15 Chinese cello parts played and overdubbed by Wood, there had been nothing like it before, and it reached nine in the charts. The debut eponymous ELO LP had been released the previous December, and was and is still known in the US as No Answer, due to a misunderstood note left by a United Artists Record Executive. Their call to the UK to find out the name of the album had resulted in ‘no answer’. This album features a far less slick sound than later work, and features only three core members – Lynne, Wood and Bev Bevan on drums.

    The Move finally became defunct shortly before the release of 10538 Overture and around the time of ELO’s live debut, which saw the trio joined by Bill Hunt on keyboards and French horn, Andy Craig, Hugh McDowell and Mike Edwards on cello, Wilfred Gibson on violin and Richard Tandy on bass. This line-up proved short-lived, as the making of the second ELO album later in 1972 saw a raft of departures. First Craig, then – most importantly, Wood, who among other reasons cited being unable to hear the classical instruments over the electric when performing live. Wood took Hunt and McDowell with him and of course, went on to form Wizzard, who scored two number 1s with See My Baby Jive and Angel Fingers (A Teen Ballad) in 1973. With Wood’s departure no doubt in mind, Lynne ensured that all band members were properly amplified when playing gigs from then on.

    Wood only featured on two tracks on ELO 2, released in 1973. Neither were the cover of Roll Over Beethoven, which soared to six in the singles chart. The new line-up included Tandy switching to keyboards to replace Hunt, plus new recruits Mike du Albuquerque picking up the bass and cellist Colin Walker. Third single Showdown showcased a new, funkier direction and surprisingly missed out on the top 10, finishing at 12.

    Further changes came during the making of the next LP, On the Third Day. Gibson was sacked, Walker quit and Mik Kaminski joined as violinist. Then McDowell bounced back from Wizzard during the end of recording. Concept album Eldorado was released in 1974 and saw the end of Lynne multi-tracking strings and using a full orchestra instead. Albuquerque left during recording.

    Lynne took on a deliberately more commercial sound and the line-up finally stabilised after Eldorado. Kelly Groucutt became their bassist and Melvyn Gale replaced Edwards as a cellist. The next album, Face the Music, saw ELO deservedly score a number 10 hit with Evil Woman in 1975.

    Sixth LP A New World Record (1976) was the first to feature the classic ELO logo and their first top 10 UK album. It spawned three great singles – Livin’ Thing (my favourite) peaked at four, and then in 1977, Rockaria! climbed to nine and Telephone Line reached eight. And later that year came the huge, multi-platinum Out of the Blue. First single Turn to Stone did respectably (18), but in 1978 Mr Blue Sky, Wild West Hero and Sweet Talkin’ Woman all reached six. The first and latter are obviously classic pop songs.

    ELO were now massive, and so were their gigs at the time. Taking a leaf out of George Clinton’s book, Lynne and co performed in front of a spaceship, with elaborate lasers and smoke machines, on a huge world tour dubbed ‘The Big Night’, which was the highest-grossing tour ever at the time. They also performed a record-setting eight sold-out gigs at Wembley Arena.

    ELO’s fame peaked in 1979 with the multi-platinum LP Discovery. Featuring a mix of ultra-glossy pop and rock with disco influences, this album contained four top 10 singles – Shine a Little Love (six), The Diary of Horace Wimp (eight), the highlight, Don’t Bring Me Down (three) and Confusion/Last Train to London (eight).

    Whoever had the idea of Newton-John and ELO for the soundtrack to Xanadu, it was a great move. A side each for the lead actress, fresh from Grease, and one of the biggest bands of the late 70s. Throw in legends Richard and Kelly, plus a hip band in the Tubes, and it was bound to do well. And it was certainly way more successful than the film itself.

    However, initially the signs weren’t promising in the UK. Newton-John’s Magic was released first and although it was a US number 1, it couldn’t manage better than 32 here when released in May. ELO’s I’m Alive came next and climbed to 20. It was time to bring out the big one.

    Review

    Xanadu was written by Lynne as an ELO song with Newton-John in his place as lead singer. It’s easy to see why people rushed out to make it number 1 for a fortnight in the summer of 1980. Especially as there had been two months of sad ballads in the top spot beforehand.

    Although disco was fading in popularity and the ridiculous Disco Demolition Night had taken place the previous year, Xanadu was designed as a coke-fuelled floorfiller. It ticks lots of boxes, and I can remember playing my brother’s single as a boy and loving it. Which makes sense as it’s like a hit of pure sugar from a bag of sweets. And yet, if you strip away Lynne’s sheen, it sounds rather throwaway now. The soaring chorus is strong – with piano flourishes reminiscent of Dancing Queen – but the rest doesn’t leave much of a mark. It’s an argument you could make about a fair bit of ELO’s material. Of course, there’s classics in there like Mr Blue Sky and Livin’ Thing, but sometimes the production is hiding substandard material. I would bet on many buyers listening to Xanadu once or twice and then forgetting all about it. It doesn’t help that, as I keep banging on about here, that there are so many classic chart-toppers in 1980. Xanadu doesn’t stand the test of time as well as I’d expected it to.

    The official video to Xanadu, is, I assume, taken from the film itself. It’s predictably flashy, with a predictably stunning Newton-John mining among roller-skaters and even body-poppers, in a sign of things to come. There’s no sign of ELO at all. The effects may be dated, and I’ve no idea what’s going on at the end when Newton-John turns blue and then ends proceedings in a Marilyn Monroe-style pose in white. But it’s all rather charming, thanks in large part to Newton-John.

    After

    Press screenings of Xanadu were cancelled, which raised suspicions that Universal weren’t confident. The suspicions proved true, and it sunk at the box office, despite critics applauding the soundtrack. A double feature of Xanadu and Can’t Stop the Music inspired the first ever Golden Raspberry Awards (or Razzies), highlighting the worst in cinema every year since. Greenwald won the initial Worst Director Award and his movie was nominated six more times.

    One further track was lifted from the soundtrack. It’s love theme, Suddenly, was a Newton-John/Richard duet, and it reached 15. Refusing to let the failure of the film curtail her career, she followed the project with her most successful album, Physical, in 1981. The surprisingly risqué title track, hidden behind a memorable ‘keep fit’ video, was a Billboard number 1, but somehow only made it to seven on these shores. Newton-John also made a video version of this album, with a short film for every song. One song, Landslide, was her final UK hit for eight years, reaching 18 in 1982. A year later she starred with Travolta once more, but the romantic fantasy Two of a Kind was a flop. Nevertheless, as with Xanadu, the accompanying album did well.

    Newton-John’s fortunes began to slide with the release of her 1985 LP Soul Kiss, and she went on hiatus after giving birth to daughter Chloe in 1986. She returned in 1988 with the album The Rumour, but although the title track was written and produced by Elton John, it failed to make an impact. The next album – her last to be produced by Farrar – was Warm and Tender, and it also got nowhere. It took the nostalgia of The Grease Megamix in 1990 to return her to the charts, peaking at three. In 1992, a planned comeback was waylaid when she discovered she had breast cancer on the same weekend her father died. Fortunately she recovered, and added cancer awareness to her impressive resume of charity and humanitarian work.

    Gaia: One Woman’s Journey was released in 1994. Co-produced by Newton-John, this album chronicled her time with cancer. In 1995 she reunited with her showbiz pal Richard for his musical Heathcliff, and their duet Had to Be finished up at 22. In 1998, the Martian Remix of You’re the One That I Want did extremely well, becoming a number four hit.

    Newton-John concentrated on releasing material in Australia from then on, but occasionally toured the UK. She married John Easterling in 2008, and continued to act, including two cameos in popular US musical comedy drama Glee. Occasionally she’d reunite with Travolta, including on the charity festive album This Christmas in 2012, or to celebrate the Grease phenomenon.

    In 2017, Newton-John’s cancer returned and spread to her back. Despite significant pain, she was able to relieve her pain with cannabis oil. But on 8 August 2022 she died, aged 73. As a mark of respect, Melbourne and Sydney lit up some of their most famous landmarks.

    Two more ELO tracks were released from the Xanadu soundtrack – All Over the World (one of Lynne’s best, which went to 11) and Don’t Walk Away (21). Next came their sci-fi concept LP Time in 1981, on which they replaced their trademark strings with synths. Its first single, Hold On Tight, was their last top 10 hit, peaking at four. The last Time release, The Way Life’s Meant to Be, could get no higher than a paltry 85.

    Lynne wanted to release a double album in 1983, but CBS blocked the plan and he was forced to edit down Secret Messages to a single LP. This, combined with dwindling ticket sales and arguments with his manager Don Arden, took their toll. He decided to wrap up ELO. Rock ‘n’ Roll Is King sold respectably, reaching 13, but no further singles made the charts.

    Bevan went to play for Black Sabbath, while Lynne concentrated on production, working with the Everly Brothers and ABBA’s Agnetha Fältskog. He also collaborated with Tandy on the soundtrack to Electric Dreams (1984). However, ELO were contractually obligated to complete one more album, so Lynne, Bevan and Tandy reunited to record Balance of Power, released in 1986. The first single it spawned, Calling America, was their final top 40 hit (28). ELO leader Lynne disbanded the group once more and produced George Harrison’s comeback album Cloud Nine in 1987, before the duo joined supergroup The Traveling Wilburys.

    ELO returned to life in 2000 with the release of the box set Flashback featuring, among various out-takes, an inferior new remake of Xanadu. A year later a new album, Zoom, was released featuring only Lynne from the classic line-up – bar Tandy on one track. A new line-up followed, with Tandy returning to the fray, for a planned world tour, that never materialised.

    Lynne and Tandy eventually returned under the name Jeff Lynne and Friends for Children in Need in 2013. They went down so well, the project expanded into Jeff Lynne’s ELO in 2014. A tour and a new album, Alone in the Universe, followed in 2015, but Tandy left a year later. ELO were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2017. The last Jeff Lynne’s ELO album to date was From Out of Nowhere in 2019.

    The Outro

    Xanadu grew a cult following over the years, with a spin-off musical hitting Broadway in 2007.

    The Info

    Written & produced by

    Jeff Lynne

    Weeks at number 1

    2 (12-25 July)

    Trivia

    Births

    18 July: DJ Gareth Emery/TV news presenter Tasmin Lucia-Khan/Engineer Scott James Remnant
    19 July: Liberty X singer Michelle Heaton

    Deaths

    14 July: Welsh poet Andiron Talon Davies
    15 July: Scottish painter Dorothy Johnstone
    18 July: Theatre director Robert Kidd
    21 July: Physiologist Isabella Leitch
    23 July: Poet Olivia Manning
    24 July: Comic actor Peter Sellers (See ‘Meanwhile…’)

    Meanwhile…

    19 July-3 August: Great Britain and Northern Ireland win five gold, seven silver and 9 bronze medals at the controversial Olympic Games in Moscow.

    22 July: Unemployment hits nearly 1.9 million – a 44-year high.

    24 July: Shortly after dinner with his former Goon friends Harry Secombe and Spike Milligan, actor and comedian Peter Sellers dies of heart failure. He was 54.


    459. The Mash – Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) (1980)

    The Intro

    There are many weird chart-toppers but this is up there with the weirdest. Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) is a song about suicide, with lyrics written by a teenager and sung by the voices behind some of the most memorable US TV shows and advert jingles, 10 years after the film it came from was first released.

    Before

    M*A*S*H (1970) is a black comedy about the Korean War of 1950-53, directed by Robert Altman and based on the 1968 novel M*A*S*H: A Novel About Three Army Doctors, by Richard Hooker. The film starred Donald Sutherland, EIliot Gould and Tom Skerrit as members of a unit stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. The movie struck a chord with a country in the midst of losing the Vietnam War and was one of the biggest films of the early 70s, winning an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay.

    Composer and arranger Johnny Mandel provided incidental music for M*A*S*H. In addition to film scores, Mandel was a jazz and pop musician, working with greats including Count Basie and Frank Sinatra.

    The film M*A*S*H is bleaker than the subsequent series (which Altman hated). And this song’s title is more literal than you may realise. In one scene, the unit’s dentist, Walter ‘Painless Pole’ Waldowski (played by John Schuck) decides to kill himself. He’s such a womaniser, he decides he must be compensating for being gay. Yes, you read that right. Surmising that living as a gay man is too hard, he thinks suicide is the better option. The rest of the unit don’t believe him, and decide to organise a ‘Last Supper’-style event, where they give him a sleeping pill masquerading as poison.

    Mandel was tasked with writing a song for Private Seidman (Ken Prymus) to sing during the Last Supper scene, with two stipulations. The first – it had to be called ‘Suicide Is Painless’, in reference to the dentist’s nickname and his fake cause of death, and the second – it had to be ‘the stupidest song ever written’.

    Before Mandel came up with the tune, Altman tried to write some lyrics, but told the composer ‘I’m sorry but there’s just too much stuff in this 45-year-old brain. I can’t write anything nearly as stupid as what we need.’ But he reassured Mandel when he said ‘All is not lost. I’ve got a 15-year-old kid who’s a total idiot.’ When he presented him with the lyrics by his son Michael, Altman said they only took him five minutes to write. If this is true, it’s impressive, as although some of the words show signs of adolescent influence, Suicide Is Painless is pretty deep.

    Altman was very impressed with the song’s appearance in the Last Supper scene. And rightly so, as Prymus’s performance is lovely. So he decided to upgrade it and it officially became Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless). And it’s this version, playing out over the opening credits, that became the released single.

    Altman chose to adopt a choral approach and enlisted members of The Ron Hicklin Singers. This Los Angeles-based group were the vocal equivalent of The Wrecking Crew, and often worked together to record thousands of TV and film themes, plus countless TV and radio jingles, from the 60s to the 80s. Some of the more memorable included the themes to Happy Days, Wonder Woman and Batman. But they’re perhaps best known in the US for their time as backing singers for The Partridge Family, the TV show/musical spin-off that made David Cassidy a teen idol. Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) features John and Tom Bahler, Ron Hicklin and Ian Freebairn-Smith.

    Review

    As unusual as this is, it’s a fascinating number 1 – and genuinely great too. The producer – Thomas Z Shephard – was an expert in musical theatre, classical and opera albums, and it really shows. The minimalistic production is spellbinding, capturing the genius of Mandel’s tune through a simple folk sound of acoustic guitar and bells. Using the voices of those better known for performing on ads and family comedies is a really clever touch – it gives the impression The Mash (as they were credited) are actually selling the concept of suicide to the listener. Very, very dark.

    And although the lyrics were written by a teenager, there’s remarkable bleakness, insight and intelligence at times. The opening line referring to ‘early morning fog’ could be taken as symbolic of depression, or could be a literal reference to the conditions of the Korean War. The chorus, sometimes taken as nonsensical, is actually pretty deep. When someone is so in the grip of depression and suicidal thoughts, it can obviously feel ‘painless’ as a way out of problems. And the misery can be so all-encompassing, it really can feel like it doesn’t matter either way to the sufferer, that they really can ‘take or leave it’. But it can also refer to soldiers fighting a war too. They may well die anyway, so why not have that level of control to feel better, as a mental way out of the horrors of conflict? To say that suicide ‘brings on many changes’ is an understatement at best, for those left behind, but to someone wallowing in their own personal hell, that might be as deeply as they’re willing to think about family and friends. Haunting, to say the least, particularly this verse:

    ‘The sword of time will pierce our skins,
    It doesn’t hurt when it beings,
    But as it works its way back in,
    The pain grows stronger, watch it grin’

    Bloody hell.

    The final verse however, augmented by strings, reads much more like the work of a teenager:

    ‘A brave man once requested me,
    To answer questions that are key,
    “Is it to be or not to be?”,
    And I replied, “Oh why ask me?”.

    Not great.

    After

    Originally released as Song from M*A*S*H in 1970, this single failed to trouble the UK top 10. The long-running TV series spin-off for CBS began in 1972. Starring Alan Alda and Wayne Rogers, the half-hour episodes were often more like a sitcom than a comedy drama. CBS tried to avoid controversy, keeping away from any overt protest at the still-ongoing Vietnam War. And they decided to ditch the disturbing lyrics to the film’s theme, using an instrumental version instead. Altman described the series as ‘the antithesis of what we were trying to do’.

    The TV series was first broadcast in the UK in 1973 on BBC Two, and the film premiered on Christmas Eve, 1977 – two years after the end of the Vietnam War. The movie was repeated in 1980 on 10 Feb, and I can only think that the combination of this being shown, while the series was still running, caused the song to capture the public’s imagination. There seems to have been something in the air that spring/summer, as this was the second in a hat trick of sad songs at number 1, following What’s Another Year and preceding Crying.

    M*A*S*H ended in 1983. The finale, aired in the US on 28 February, remains the most-watched episode of scripted TV ever – watched by an around 125 million Americans. The UK didn’t get to say goodbye until 27 December 1984.

    Altman once claimed that while he made $70,000 for directing M*A*S*H the film, his son has made more than $1 million in royalties for the theme’s lyrics. Not bad work for ‘a total idiot’.

    The Outro

    In 1992 the Welsh alt-rockers Manic Street Preachers released a decent cover of Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) as a double-A-side for charity with Fatima Mansions’ cover of (Everything I Do) I Do it For You. Raising money for The Spastics Society, it peaked at seven in the charts. This singles has since proved to be sadly ironic, in light of their guitarist and songwriter Richey Edwards’ disappearance in 1995.

    Remember people, if you’re feeling suicidal, help is available. Contact The Samaritans on 116 123.

    The Info

    Written by

    Johnny Mandel & Mike Altman

    Producer

    Thomas Z Shephard

    Weeks at number 1

    3 (31 May-20 June)

    Trivia

    Births

    1 June: Footballer Martin Devaney/Actor Oliver James
    2 June: Rugby player Richard Skuse
    4 June: Actor Philip Olivier
    10 June: Chess master Jovanka Houska/Singer-songwriter James Walsh
    11 June: Footballer Ernie Cooksey
    12 June: Doctor Adam Kay

    Deaths

    1 June: Boxer George Marsden/Boxer Len Wickwar
    5 June: Athlete William Seagrove
    7 June: Writer Elizabeth Craig
    9 June: Physician Sir Derrick Dunlop
    10 June: Conservative MP Denis Hanley
    12 June: Businessman Sir Billy Butlin
    18 June: Oil executive Sir Maurice Bridgeman/Film director Terence Fisher/Geologist Neville George
    19 June: Educator Gladys Wright
    20 June: Golfer John Beck/Poet Amy Clarke

    Meanwhile…

    6 June: Two Malaysian men were jailed for 14 years after they were found guilty of running a drug smuggling ring in London.

    12 June: Pregnant 16-year-old Gail Kinchen and her unborn baby were accidentally shot dead by a police marksman in a tragic accident. The officer had entered the Birmingham flat to encounter Kinchen’s boyfriend, David Pagett, who was holding her at gunpoint.

    17 June: Secretary of State for Defence Francis Pym told the House of Commons that US nuclear cruise missiles were to be located at RAF Greenham Common in Berkshire and the disused RAF Molesworth in Cambridgeshire.

    19 June: Three unknown gunmen were shot dead by Iraqi security forces when they attacked the British embassy in Iraq.

    456. Blondie – Call Me (1980)

    The Intro

    In what must surely be one of the shortest durations between chart-toppers for one act, Blondie only had a month inbetween Atomic and Call Me – two of the best number 1s that year. This collaboration with Italian genius producer Giorgio Moroder (the man behind I Feel Love) was the theme song to Paul Schrader’s American Gigolo. The film starred a little-known actor called Richard Gere as a high-end male escort and it made him a star.

    Before

    Call Me began as a Moroder instrumental known as Man Machine. Not the tune by Kraftwerk, but similar in the sense it combined electronic music with pop. He originally had his eye on Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac to add lyrics and perform songs for American Gigolo, but she couldn’t for contractual reasons. Luckily for Moroder, Blondie were one of the hottest bands on the planet, and singer Debbie Harry was up for it. She watched the film and had the opening scene – driving on the Californian coast – in mind as she set to work writing the words, which only took a few hours.

    Blondie went into the studio in New York with Moroder in August 1979 to record Call Me – just one month after finishing up their fourth LP Eat to the Beat. The pressure of following up the massive album Parallel Lines, and Harry’s perceived increasing dominance of the group, was causing tension. The recording of Call Me didn’t help. The first session, in LA, had seen Moroder and his crew, including keyboardist Harold Faltermeyer and Keith Forsey (drummer on I Feel Love), record an instrumental version to a timecode so it would synchronise with American Gigolo.

    It’s unknown whether Moroder was only expecting Harry, but Faltermeyer later claimed the producer was surprised the rest of the band were insisting on adding their own instrumentation. Guitarist Chris Stein’s equipment was buzzing and annoying the perfectionist Moroder, who, after realising the musicians were struggling to play in time and fighting among themselves, aborted the sessions. The backing tape was completed by Moroder and co, including the keyboard solo by Faltermeyer. This riled an already paranoid Blondie (minus Harry of course), but when Call Me shot to number 1 in the US before Atomic did, and then after Atomic in the UK, they changed their tune. Who is it on backing vocals, is it drummer Clem Burke, keyboardist Jimmy Destri, bassist Frank Infante, all three, or Moroder’s boys? I don’t know.

    Review

    Moroder and Blondie are two of the greatest names in disco, so it’s a given that any collaboration between the two would be great. Call Me and Atomic are like sisters, both showing Blondie at the top of their game, melding disco, pop and rock in a totally natural way. And although only Harry is on the recording, you’d never know upon listening, which shows how effectively Moroder had also become in combining different genres. Moroder was intending to produce Blondie’s next LP, but the infighting caused him to change his mind. It’s fascinating to imagine how good that could have been.

    The rest of the band’s jealousy towards their singer is only natural, but she is also at the peak of her powers as a songwriter. Where Atomic featured improvised lines that captured the feel of the band’s blistering performance, Call Me shows Harry studying her source material and coming up with a song that is perfect as a film soundtrack. She succinctly communicates that Gere’s character is available whenever you need him, referencing the classic Martini ad tagline ‘Anytime, anyplace, anywhere’. He’s clearly used to a higher class of clientele (‘Roll me in designer sheets’) and ‘speaks the languages of love’, with a smattering of Italian and French thrown in for good measure. But the best lines are Harry’s frustration at feelings ruining what are meant to be a purely business arrangement: ‘Emotions come I don’t know why/Cover up love’s alibi’. As with I Feel Love, this Moroder classic is best heard in full via the 8:05 album version. The video edit is way too short at only 2:15

    Further proof that Harry now pretty much was Blondie in the public eye is apparent in the record sleeve above and the video to Call Me, in which the striking singer is filmed in the city, on the beach and on stage. The rest of her band are nowhere to be seen.

    After

    Call Me was released in the US first in January 1980 and surprisingly was only their second number 1. It became their biggest-selling single and was also number 1 on Billboard‘s end-of-year chart that December. In addition to the soundtrack version, video edit and radio edit, there was a Spanish-language 12″. A Ben Liebrand mix missed out on top 40 action in 1988. Oh, and an abbreviated version was sung by Harry on The Muppet Show in 1981.

    The Outro

    Of course, the problem with being at the peak of your powers is that the only way is down. There was only one more Blondie 80s number 1, and it was a cover that didn’t hit the heights of Call Me. The band re-recorded Call Me in 2014, and to be fair, this probably felt more needed than their other 2014 covers, as it meant Blondie were actually on the recording. However, it’s probably not a huge surprise to find out it doesn’t match the original.

    The Info

    Written by

    Giorgio Moroder & Debbie Harry

    Producer

    Giorgio Moroder

    Weeks at number 1

    1 (26 April-2 May)

    Trivia

    Births

    28 April: Cyclist Bradley Wiggins
    2 May: Footballer Zat Knight 

    Deaths

    26 April: Actress Cicely Courtneidge/Conservative MP Irene Ward, Baroness Ward of North Tyneside
    27 April: Theatre director E Martin Browne/Producer John Culshaw
    29 April: Film director Sir Alfred Hitchcock (see ‘Meanwhile…’)
    30 April: Scottish Labour MP Thomas McMillan
    2 May: Conservative MP Sir Jocelyn Lucas, 4th Baronet/Army captain Herbert Westmacott

    Meanwhile…

    29 April: Legendary filmmaker Sir Alfred Hitchcock died at home in Los Angeles, aged 80.

    30 April: A six-man team of terrorists from the Democratic Revolutionary Front for the Liberation of Arabistan began the Iranian Embassy Siege, taking 26 hostages at the Embassy of Iran in Knightsbridge.

    1 May: British Aerospace was privatised.

    453. Fern Kinney – Together We Are Beautiful (1980)

    The Intro

    Disco may have been starting to wane by 1980 but there were still plenty of hits for the genre, including this one, by former session singer Fern Kinney. Despite failing to chart in her home country, it’s one of the more obscure UK number 1s of 1980 – a year packed with legendary chart-toppers.

    Before

    Fern Kinney-Lewis was born in Jackson, Mississippi on 11 July 1949. In 1966 she became a member of girl group The Poppies, who split only a year later after little success. She recorded a solo single in 1968, but Your Love Is Not Reliable also failed to chart.

    Kinney moved into session singing, performing backing vocals on King Floyd’s 1970 hit Groove Me. Six years later she did the same for Dorothy Moore – former bandmate in The Poppies – on her hit Misty Blue, which peaked at five in the UK. She eventually left the music business and decided to concentrate on being a housewife.

    However, in 1979 she decided to try her luck with a comeback. She recorded her own version of Groove Me, and it was a runaway success in the US, reaching six on the Billboard dance chart.

    Together We Are Beautiful was originally recorded as a sweet, tender piano ballad by its songwriter, Ken Leray. The original is better than the next version, released in 1979 by Steve Allan, which lays on some thick syrupy strings. Lyrically it’s an odd beast, as it’s sung from the point of view of a man celebrating both he and his partner have had more attractive lovers before, but never mind because together, they are beautiful! Wonder if his partner agrees with this sentiment?

    Review

    Kinney’s version, in which she purrs over a slinky light disco groove, is easily the best of the three versions. She swaps the roles around but the conceit remains, so it’s still a weird one to enjoy. But it’s nice in a very early 80s way. Still, it’s understandable that this isn’t up there with some of the other chart-toppers of 1980.

    After

    Finally striking lucky, in the UK at least, Kinney continued to strut down the disco route, but couldn’t even claim a chart position with singles such as Let the Good Times Roll (1981) and Beautiful Love Song (1983). After the release of the latter, she returned to a career as a backing vocalist, and has disappeared into obscurity.

    The Outro

    Kinney’s version of Together We Are Beautiful has appeared in several adverts over the years, including Physio Sport in 1999 and EDF Energy in 2013.

    The Info

    Written by

    Ken Leray

    Producers

    Carson Whitsett, Wolf Stephenson & Tommy Couch

    Weeks at number 1

    1 (15-21 March)

    Trivia

    Births

    21 March: Northern Irish motorcycle race doctor John Hinds

    Deaths

    15 March: Chess player Gerald Abrahams/Businessman Sir Cyril Harrison
    17 March: Journalist Cyril Hamnett, Baron Hamnett/Novelist PM Hubbard
    18 March: Paralympic Games pioneer Ludwig Guttmann
    19 March: Conservative MP Charles Wood, 2nd Earl of Halifax/Physicist Reginald Smith-Rose
    20 March: Historian Alun Davies