Comedy

390. The Wurzels – The Combine Harvester (Brand New Key) (1976)

/ robbarker1979

The Intro

Ask anyone to name a novelty song from the 70s and I’d wager The Combine Harvester (Brand New Key) would get a lot of mentions. It’s often given as an example of the Great British Public’s eccentric sense of humour and on this occasion I applaud the people who took it to number 1 for a fortnight as the long hot summer of 1976 began. In fact, so poor has the collection of chart-toppers in 1976 been thus far, this Wurzels single is the best yet.

Before

The Wurzels didn’t always specialise in comic covers. They were initially a backing group for Somerset singer-songwriter Adge Cutler, performing ‘Scrumpy and Western’ folk songs from 1966 onwards in pubs across the region, where they would often record live albums. The single Drink Up Thy Zider, released at the end of that year, got them noticed nationally. Originally the line-up featured Brian Walker, Reg Quantrill, John Macey and Reg Chant. Their name, coined by Cutler, is short for ‘mangelwurzel’, a crop grown to feed livestock.

In 1967 the Scrumpy & Western EP that spawned the male of their genre was released, and the band’s line-up began chopping and changing. At the end of that year Scotsman Tommy Banner joined as their accordionist. Further singles included the curiously titled Up The Clump in 1968 and Ferry to Glastonbury a year later. Tony Baylis joined the group in 1969 as their bassist and tuba player in time for their fourth album Carry On Cutler. 1972 saw Bristolian banjoist Pete Budd become a Wurzel, but eventually a tragic event meant he stepped up to become frontman.

Returning alone from a gig in Hereford in May 1974, Cutler fell asleep at the wheel of his sports car. It overturned at a roundabout approaching the Severn Bridge, and Cutler was killed. This left the grieving Budd, Banner and Baylis with the question of whether to continue as The Wurzels. They decided Budd would become their new singer. The album The Wurzels Are Scrumptious! was released in 1975 and was a mix of reworkings of old songs and Cutler tracks that had never been made before. Among the songs was a cover of Pat Boone’s 1962 hit Speedy Gonzales, which they ‘Wurzelled-up’. Without Cutler to write them material, perhaps this was where their future career lay?

Fortunately for them, it had been proven already that this could make them go mainstream. Despite popular belief, it wasn’t The Wurzels idea to turn Melanie’s folk song Brand New Key into a rural knees-up. The original was Melanie’s biggest hit. Also known as ‘The Rollerskates Song’, this slightly fruity track went to number 1 in the US.

Irish comedian Brendan Grace, later known in the UK for his role as Father Fintan Stack in classic sitcom Father Ted, rewrote it as The Combine Harvester, and it went to number 1 in Ireland but got nowhere over here. All The Wurzels needed to do was make a few lyrical changes here and there to make it more ‘Westcountry bumpkin’ and maybe they’d finally see some chart action?

Review

Yes, The Combine Harvester (Brand New Key) may seem unfunny and even offensive now by playing to a common insulting stereotype of Westcountry farmers. However, it’s very catchy, and everyone is having such a good time, it’s hard to take it as anything but a bit of knockabout old-fashioned fun. The site of Budd acting as dozy as possible, particularly in the official video above, knees open wide and sat on a hay bale, can’t help but raise a smile.

The well-trodden path of farms and sex puns are present ‘I drove my tractor through your haystack last night (ooh aah ooh aah)’ as Budd gets his wicked way with a wealthier landowner and wants to marry her (‘Aahh you’re a fine looking woman and I can’t wait to get me ‘ands on your land’). But for me the best bit is: ‘Weren’t we a grand couple at that last Wurzel dance/I wore brand new gaters and me cordouroy pants’… it’s the way he says that last word. Great stuff, and proof that novelty comedy records can stand the test of time.

After

Making hay while the sun shone, The Wurzels followed up their number 1 with I Am a Cider Drinker, a reworking of George Baker Selection’s Paloma Blanca. It soared to three in the charts. Also that year they released One for the Bristol City, which became the football team’s official anthem. 1977’s Farmer Bill’s Cowman reached 32. In a bid to cash in on the Dallas craze of 1980, they released I Hate JR followed by I Shot JR. In 1983, The Wurzels did hip-hop. I definitely want to hear The Wurzel Rap.

Changes were afoot in the line-up, as they gained a drummer in John Morgan in 1981, but lost Baylis two years later as he emigrated to New Zealand to become a chiropodist. He died in 2020.

One of the reasons I may have a soft spot for The Wurzels is the 80s adverts for Country Life butter. The long-running campaign featured cartoon butter men who sounded very similar to The Wurzels. They would laugh, joke, play music and proclaim ‘You’ll never get a better bit of butter on your knife’. Reminisce here.

Budd and Banner have toured with various line-ups as The Wurzels over these past few decades, with only sporadic recorded output. The 1988 single Sunny Weston-super-Mare was their last for seven years. Then in 1995 they celebrated the 25th anniversary of Eddie Stobart Ltd with the I Want To Be An Eddie Stobart Driver EP. The Combine Harvester 2001 Remix EP is their last material to chart (at 39).

The Outro

Their increasing popularity with students resulted in the album Never Mind The Bullocks, Ere’s The Wurzels, which featured covers of songs including Oasis’s Don’t Look Back in Anger. They forged an unlikely friendship with Reading alt-rockers British Sea Power, recording a version of their song Remember Me in 2006, while BSP covered I Am a Cider Drinker in return. Their cult following has resulted in many appearances at Glastonbury Festival over the years, and in 2010 they released their take on Kaiser Chiefs’ Ruby. COVID-19 has waylaid The Wurzels’ never-ending tour, and Budd and Banner must be a fair age now, but here’s hoping it’s just an enforced break.

The Info

Written by

Melanie Safka

Producer

Bob Barratt

Weeks at number 1

2 (12-25 June)

Trivia

Births

13 June: 5ive singer Jason ‘J’ Brown
16 June: Super Furry Animals keyboardist Cian Ciaran
25 June: Rugby player Iestyn Harris

Meanwhile…

14 June: The trial of murderer Donald Neilson, aka the ‘Black Panther’, commenced at Oxford Crown Court.

23 June: One of the lengthiest and most memorable heatwaves in the UK began. For 15 consecutive days, until 7 July inclusive, temperatures reached 32.2C in London. It remains the second hottest summer average since records began.

381. Billy Connolly – D.I.V.O.R.C.E. (1975)

/ robbarker1979 / 2 Comments

The Intro

‘The Big Yin’ had a number 1? Really? Yes, Glaswegian giant of comedy Sir Billy Connolly covered country icon Tammy Wynette’s break-up song, turned it into a ditty about his dog and topped the charts. How very 1975.

Before

To say Connolly came from humble beginnings is rather an understatement. William Connolly was born at home in Anderston, Glasgow on 24 November 1942. This home had no hot water, and he was bathed in the sink. His father was in Burma during the Second World War and afterwards, in 1946, his teenage mother abandoned him and his older sister Florence for a new man. Considering the circumstances at the time, he has never felt ill will towards his mother and said he would have done the same. They were raised by two aunts, but not happily, as they resented the children. His father eventually returned, and physically and sexually abused his son until he was 15.

Connolly did at least take solace in discovering the joy of being able to make people laugh while a young schoolboy of seven, and at 14 he fell in love with the music of Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry. He left school a year later with two engineering qualifications – one belonging to a boy named Connell. Taking up odd jobs until he was old enough to be an engineer, he was ruled overqualified and so he became a boilermaker at a shipyard. Shooting up in height as a teen, he soon towered over his father and earned the ‘Big Yin’ nickname.

In his late-teens during the early-60s Connolly attended the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and began modelling himself on the folk singers that performed there. Following jobs including building an oil platform in Nigeria, he decided to become a folk musician and bought a banjo. In 1965 he and guitarist Tam Harvey became The Humblebums and they began touring the pubs. In 1969 they were approached by a singer named Gerry Rafferty and they became a trio. After recording one album that year (First Collection of Merry Melodies), Harvey left. Connolly and Rafferty released two more albums before they split in 1971, with Rafferty going on to release, among others, Stuck in the Middle with You (with Stealers Wheel) and Baker Street.

So, Connolly was a folk singer on his own now, and he became known for his charismatic stage performances, where the introductions to the songs were as lengthy and entertaining as the music. In 1972 he made his comic debut with a revue called Connolly’s Glasgow Flourish. The Edinburgh Festival Fringe then beckoned, and his first solo album, Billy Connolly Live! was released, a mix of comedy and songs. But it was the 1973 double album Solo Concert that propelled Connolly to the mainstream. Sell-out gigs followed, and in 1975 came the first of a record 15 appearances on Parkinson, in which an edgy joke about bikes changed his life forever.

Connolly was by then signed with Polydor Records and had released The Welly Boot Song. Next up was a timely rewrite of Wynette’s 1968 hit D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Timely because she had just divorced George Jones and had been number 1 with Stand by Your Man, also from 1968. In the original, Wynette is heartbroken and determined not to tell her four-year-old-son that his dad will soon be elsewhere, so she spells out the word, and several others, including ‘C.U.S.T.O.D.Y’. It’s all very maudlin, so ripe for spoofing.

Review

Connolly made it about a dog that was going into ‘Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E’ because it’s bitten him, caused he and his wife to have an argument, in which she bit his arse, and then the dog bit the vet too. As a result of which, Connolly has decided to get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Yes, all a bit silly really, and it hasn’t aged well at all. Held in by the need to make it family-friendly, Connolly doesn’t get the chance to be let off the leash. Although, there is the line ‘She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me an effin C’. I’m guessing he’d say ‘cunt’ when performing this live. So without the shock element, it’s not very funny.

Also, why would you need to avoid saying ‘quarantine’ in front of a dog anyway? I mean, I know this isn’t meant to be realistic, but the whole thing is rather pointless, and isn’t helped by Connolly constantly bursting into laughter. You can’t deny Connolly has bucketloads of charm, but I don’t like to think of him seeming so smug about something so unfunny. I doubt you’d get away with the closing line of ‘Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer’ these days either, but that’s with 45 years of hindsight.

After

Further similarly tame spoofs followed, including No Chance (the awful No Charge, originally) in 1976 and In the Brownies (yep, In the Navy) in 1979. He served as Elton John’s warm-up man on a US tour in 1976, but he bombed. By then he was living like a rock star himself, using cocaine and alcohol in large doses, and collapsed in a studio, and shocked comedian Pamela Stephenson with his self-destructive ways backstage in 1979. They fell in love and began an affair. That same year, Connolly became the first non-Oxbridge member of The Secret Policeman’s Ball.

As the 80s began Connolly was now concentrating almost solely on comedy. 1985 was to be an eventful year. He went teetotal, starred in the British film Water, sang the rollicking theme to Children’s ITV series Super Gran (released as a single) and divorced his first wife after four years separated. He also introduced Elton John at Live Aid. In 1989, Connolly and Stephenson married.

After several false starts, the Big Yin finally conquered the Big Apple and the rest of the US in the 90s. He starred in stand-up TV specials and landed a part in the sitcom Head of the Class and spin-off Billy. In 1994 World Tour of Scotland, for the BBC, followed the comedian around his home country, and spawned Billy Connolly’s World Tour of Australia a year later. He even provided his voice to a character in Disney’s Pocahontas (1995). Connolly was fast becoming a jack of all trades, and won critical acclaim and BAFTA nominations for his role in 1997 historical drama Queen Victoria, alongside Dame Judi Dench.

Further ‘World Tour’ series followed in the 00s, and roles in Hollywood films The Last Samurai (2003), Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004). He also voiced a character in Brave (2012) and starred in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies in 2014.

The Outro

In 2013 Connolly announced that he had undergone minor surgery for prostate cancer, and was also in the early stages of Parkinson’s. Since then, the disease has progressed and has caused Connolly to retire from live stand-up, aged 78. Connolly has been a singer, artist, actor, playwright and boilermaker, but it his outrageous comedy for which he will be remembered mostly. Let’s hope he has many years left to enjoy his retirement.

Trivia

Written by

Billy Connolly

Producer

Phil Coulter

Weeks at number 1

1 (22-28 November)

Trivia

Deaths

25 November: Actress Moyna Macgill
27 November: Co-founder of the Guinness Book of Records Ross McWhirter (see below)

Meanwhile…

27 November: The Provisional IRA assassinated Ross McWhirter, co-founder with twin brother Norris of the Guinness Book of Records. He was shot dead for offering reward money to IRA informers.

371. Windsor Davies as B.S.M. Williams and Don Estelle as Gunner Sugden (Lofty) – Whispering Grass (1975)

/ robbarker1979

The Intro

Yes, your eyes don’t deceive you, that’s two characters from a BBC sitcom, up there, at number 1. For three whole weeks in the long, hot summer of 1975, Windsor Davies and Don Estelle, stars of, ironically, the Jimmy Perry and David Croft comedy It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum, ruled the hit parade with a trad-pop ballad from 1940.

Before

Thanks to their Second World War sitcom Dad’s Army, Perry and Croft were one of the most successful comedy writing duos of the 70s. Their second series set in the period, It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum had begun in 1974. Set in the fictional village of Tin Min in Burma during the last months of the conflict, and chronicling the exploits of a Royal Artillery concert party, Perry and Croft were recalling their own experiences in the war. It was another huge success, running until 1981, but you’ll probably never see it repeated ever again. There’s a fair bit of homophobia directed at camp character Gunner ‘Gloria’ Beaumont (Melvyn Hayes) and one actor, Michael Bates, blacked-up to portray Indian Bearer Rangi Ram.

The most enduring character was Windsor Davies’ Battery Sergeant Major Tudor Bryn ‘Shut Up’ Williams, an imposing, ferocious officer, who hated how his troop were stage performers. So much so, he would often call them a ‘bunch of poofs’. Among his victims was Don Estelle’s diminutive Gunner ‘Lofty’ Harold Horace Herbert Willy Sugden, but even Sergeant Major Williams could not help but enjoy Lofty’s lovely tenor voice.

Davies was born in Canning Town, London on 28 August 1930, but the family returned to their roots in the Welsh village of Nant-y-Moel in 1940. After he left school he worked as a coal miner before undergoing National Service in Libya and Egypt between 1950 and 1952. He then moved into teaching but also got the acting bug, performing amateur dramatics before turning professional in 1961. He had his first film role in 1962 in The Pot Carriers, and television roles followed, often as figures of authority, and was a paid heavy in the Doctor Who story “The Evil of the Daleks” in 1967, and was a sailor in The Onedin Line in 1971.

When Davies got the job on It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum, he based Sergeant Major Williams on his superiors during National Service. With his catchphrases of ‘Shut up!’, ‘Hello lovely boy’ and ‘Oh dear, how sad, never mind’, Davies somehow made a complete bastard rather lovable. When a cast spin-off album was made, putting Davies and Estelle together was a natural decision as they spent four years touring the clubs as a duo before they became famous.

Estelle was born Ronald Edwards on 22 May 1933 in Crumpsall, Manchester. At the age of eight he was evacuated to Darwen, Lancashire to escape the German bombing of the city. In Darwen he found his voice and became a boy soprano at his new local church, and continued to sing at his old one when he returned home. He joined local charity group the Manchester Minstrels and took part in a BBC Radio talent show in 1954. It was while working as a warehouse manager by day and performing in clubs by night that he first met Davies.

On days off he worked as an extra for Granada Television and made his TV debut throwing darts on Coronation Street. Arthur Lowe, then a regular on the soap, suggested to Estelle that he should contact Perry and Croft, and as a result he landed a bit part in Dad’s Army in 1969, returning a year later for several episodes. Measuring only 4ft 9, Estelle was the perfect man to cast for the ironically nicknamed Lofty, and next to the towering Davies, they made for a great mismatched pair.

Whispering Grass was a near-faithful cover of The Ink Spots version from 1940, but it was originally recorded by Erskine Hawkins & His Orchestra. Fred Fisher, a Tin Pan Alley songwriter, wrote it with his daughter Doris. 

Review

This is understandably considered a novelty number 1, and is certainly a weird idea, especially for anyone not around at the time. However, once I got past Davies’ in-character recital of some of the lyrics, I was pleasantly surprised. Estelle really does have a lovely voice, and other than Davies popping up again in the middle briefly (and is he helping with the backing vocals?), it’s played completely straight and is very similar to The Ink Spots version. It’s a sweet, endearing tune, and it took me back to the early days of this blog when most of the songs I covered were of this ilk. Lovely, boys.

After

Such was the popularity of their Whispering Grass, the duo followed it up with a cover of The Mills Brothers’ Paper Doll, which just missed out on a chart placing. They also recorded a full album together, Sing Lofty, in 1976.

While It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum was at the peak of its popularity, drawing in audiences of 17 million, Davies also starred in Carry On Behind (1975) and Carry On England (1976), where he played… yes, another comically angry Sergeant Major. He also had a role in the 1978 Welsh rugby film Grand Slam.

Such was the unmistakably rich quality of Davies’ voice, he had no shortage of voiceover work when It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum ended in 1981. I will have likely first heard his dulcet tones on the children’s sci-fi series Terrahawks (1983), where he played… a sergeant major. He also provided voices in Paul McCartney’s Rupert and the Frog Song (1984) and an advert for Cadbury’s Wispa. From 1981 to 1991 he starred alongside Donald Sinden in the ITV sitcom Never the Twain, and in 1997 appeared in an episode of another Perry and Croft sitcom, Oh Doctor Beeching!. Davies retired in 2014 and moved to the south of France with his wife. He died on 17 January 2019, aged 88.

Estelle fared less well. After It Ain’t Half Hot, Mum was axed, he starred in a BBC adaptation of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and had small roles in the films A Private Function (1984) and Santa Claus: The Movie (1985). He formed Don Estelle Music Publishing and released cassettes of his recordings on his Lofty label for years to come, but disappeared into obscurity.

He cut a rather tragic figure towards the end of his life, performing in his Lofty outfit in shopping centres beside his tapes, and was understandably bitter, but perhaps unreasonable, that his most famous role would never be shown on TV again in repeats. There was a return to the small screen for him though, thanks to his appearance as Little Don in early episodes of The League of Gentlemen in 1999. In 2001 he played a dirty old man in Page 3 girl Jo Hicks’s cover of The Benny Hill Show theme Yakety Sax.

The Outro

Estelle spent the last few years of his life living in New Zealand, but he returned to the UK weeks before his death. He needed a liver transplant but was too ill to undergo it, and he died in Rochdale Infirmary on 2 August 2003. He was buried with the oversized pith helmet he wore as Lofty.

The Info

Written by

Fred & Doris Fisher

Producer

Walter J Ridley

Weeks at number 1

3 (7-27 June)

Trivia

Births

19 June: Rower Ed Coode

Deaths

27 June: Conservative MP Arthur Salter, 1st Baron Salter

Meanwhile…

8 June: Peter Samuel Cook, aka The Cambridge Rapist, was arrested after stabbing a young woman at a nurses’ hostel.

9 June: Parliament proceedings are broadcast on radio for the first time.

13 June: UEFA places a three-year ban on Leeds United from European competitions following the behaviour of their fans at last month’s European Cup final.

14 June: West Midlands Ambulance crews stage a ban on non-emergency calls in a dispute over pay and hours.

17 June: Leeds United lodge an appeal against their ban from European competitions.

19 June – A coroner’s court jury returns a verdict of wilful murder and names Lord Lucan as the murderer in the inquest on Sandra Rivett, the nanny who was found dead at his wife’s home in London seven months previously.

350. Ray Stevens – The Streak (1974)

/ robbarker1979 / 1 Comment

The Intro

Think of the fads of the 70s and you’ll likely think of spacehoppers, rollerskates and lava lamps. But what about all the naked men and women that made the headlines for streaking at sporting events? This was still popular during my childhood in the 80s, and I just assumed it was something that happened every now and then because, well, people are silly and it’s funny to take all your clothes off and run around until you’re caught (I imagine). I didn’t realise until now it became a ‘thing’ in the 70s.

There were examples going back way further though. In the 15th century, the Adamites protested the Holy Roman Empire’s morality by running naked through their Bohemian village. Apparently, the Quakers revived the pastime in the 17th century. Modern streaking started up in the free and easy 60s at US universities, and peaked in 1974, with a streaker at the Oscars and ever more elaborate and organised stunts taking place.

That February, one of the most famous sporting streaks happened at the England v France rugby match at Twickenham Stadium, when an Australian named Michael O’Brien decided to take to the field with his genitals flapping in the breeze. The subsequent photo of the police covering his bits with a helmet became iconic, and kickstarted all the UK sport streaks that followed. So novelty song and country singer-songwriter Ray Stevens’ opportunism paid off when he decided to immortalise streaking in song.

Before

Ray Stevens was born Harold Ray Ragsdale on 24 January 1939 in Clarkdale, Georgia. His love of music began with his first piano lessons, aged six. At 15 he formed an R’n’B band called The Barons, and three years later he enrolled in Georgia State University as a music major. That same year he released his first material as Ray Stevens on Capitol Records’ Prep Records, but his cover of Rang Tang Ding Dong sank without trace. Further material was released sporadically over the next few years.

In 1961, Stevens signed with Mercury Records and began to get noticed for his novelty songs. With titles like Jeremiah Peabody’s Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting Pleasant-Tasting Green and Purple Pills, that was always likely. The politically incorrect Ahab the Arab was a number five hit in the US in 1962, and Harry the Hairy Ape reached number 17 the following year.

But Stevens also wanted to release serious country material too, and so he signed with Monument Records in 1968 and Mr Businessman followed, giving him his first US hit in five years. He also released the first version of Sunday Mornin’ Comin’ Down by Kris Kristofferson (later a hit for Johnny Cash). Novelty songs still could do well for him though, and Gitarzan reached number eight in 1969.

It was in 1970 that Stevens’ career went up a notch. He was working in Nashville when his gospel-tinged ballad Everything Is Beautiful, preaching against racism and extolling tolerance of others, became huge, topping the US charts and reaching number six in the UK – his chart debut over here. He kept on dabbling in novelty songs though, notably Bridget the Midget (The Queen of the Blues), a UK number two in 1971. Interesting to see how Stevens could preach about a better world in his country material, and then make cheap jokes in his comedy material… a sign of the times, perhaps.

Stevens was on a plane flicking through a magazine when he came across an article on streaking. He thought it would make a good idea for a comedy song and made some notes. Some time later, he woke up one morning and streaking was all over the news – 1973 and 74 were peak years in the US for the phenomenon. He quickly finished The Streak and recorded it ASAP for maximum topicality.

Review

The naked truth is, The Streak is dross. Over a hoedown-style backing, Stevens plays a news reporter interviewing a redneck (also Stevens) at various disturbances caused by ‘The Streak’. Despite the redneck shouting ‘Don’t look Ethel!’ every time the naked guy appears, Ethel has a gander, and by the end, she’s joined in the streaking. Do you think that sounds like a bad record? Try listening to it.

So many things annoy me about The Streak. The tacky production, the ‘boogity boogity’ backing vocal on the chorus, the kazoo, Stevens’ cliched characters, the childishness, the canned laughter. If you have to add canned laughter to point out where the jokes are on a comedy record, there’s something wrong. This makes Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) and even My Ding-a-Ling look like high art by comparison. I can’t think of a single positive thing to say about it.

After

To be fair to Stevens, at least he wasn’t a one-trick pony. In 1975 he just missed out on another UK number 1 with a country cover of jazz standard Misty. Two years later, his final UK chart entry saw him cover Glenn Miller’s In the Mood in the style of a clucking chicken under the pseudonym Henhouse Five Plus Two. I listened to five seconds here and had to stop.

But I can just about forgive Stevens all this because in 1981 he sang Cannonball, the opening song to the celebrity-packed car chase film The Cannonball Run. It’s not just for nostalgia reasons either, this is a great song!

Stevens’ last serious album Me, was released in 1983. He’s concentrated on novelty material ever since. He opened his own theatre in Branson, Missouri in 1991 , which lasted two years, and he began selling videos to his old songs, The Streak among them (guess what, it’s awful). In 1996 he received thousands of sympathy cards after online news of the wrestler Ray ‘The Crippler’ Stevens confused fans. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1999, but he beat it and received a clean bill of health.

The Outro

Stevens’ love of comedy and videos found its natural home online on YouTube, where he posts cheap novelty songs with equally cheap videos declaring his outspoken political views. One I found, Obama Nation from 2012, slates the then-President. Abomination/Obama nation, get it? Hmm.

The Info

Written & produced by

Ray Stevens

Weeks at number 1

1 (15-21 June)

Trivia

Births

21 June: Radio presenter Natasha Desborough

Meanwhile…

15 June: The National Front clash with counter-protestors in London’s West End. The Red Lion Square disorders resulted in the death of 21-year-old Kevin Gateley, a university student.

17 June: A bomb explodes at London’s houses of Parliament, damaging Westminster Hall. The IRA claimed responsibility. 

307. Benny Hill (Arranged & Conducted by Harry Robinson, with The Ladybirds) – Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) (1971)

/ robbarker1979 / 2 Comments

The Intro

1971 was a real mixed bag of a year for number 1s. There was early glam, reggae, pop, a former Beatle, and bookending the year were novelty songs by two popular TV comedy stars. The Christmas number 1 belonged to Benny Hill, a once much-loved comedian who became incredibly unfashionable before his death in the 80s. But in 1971, people wanted saucy innuendo in their comedy, and Hill was one of the best at that.

Before

Alfred Hawthorne Hill was born 21 January 1924 in Southampton. His father and grandfather had both been circus clowns. After Hill left school he worked at Woolworths, a bridge operator and a milkman. It is unknown whether he drove the fastest milkcart or not.

In 1942 Hill was called up for World War Two, and trained as a mechanic in the British Army. He also served as a mechanic and searchlight operator in Normandy before being transferred to the Combined Services Entertainment division before the war ended. Having decided a career in showbusiness was for him, he changed his name to Benny Hill in honour of his favourite comic, Jack Benny.

Hill struggled on the radio and stage, but found his home on TV, achieving his big break after sending scripts to the BBC in 1952. The Benny Hill Show of the 50s wasn’t that different from its 80s version, a mix of music hall, parody and bawdiness. Bar a few brief spells with ATV between 1957 and 1960 and again in 1967, he remained with the BBC until 1968.

Jackie Wright, the little bald man who Hill liked to slap on the head, joined his troupe in the 60s. I hope his head was insured for all those decades of slaps.

Within that time he also appeared in films, most notably Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines (1965), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) and The Italian Job (1969).

The Benny Hill Show became a Thames Television show in 1969 and ran intermittently for 20 years. It is this version he is mostly remembered for, gurning and saluting away next to scantily clad girls, running around to Boots Randolph’s Yakety Sax. This very British show became popular overseas too, with Hill acting as an ambassador for the famous British seaside postcard brand of humour.

Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) began life as a song on a 1970 edition, as you can see here. Most of the double entendres are in place, with only small differences like Ernie’s age being 68 rather than 52. Releasing records was nothing new for Hill, who had been releasing comedy singles sporadically since Who Done It in 1956, and Ernie was just one of the tracks that made up his Words and Music album, released earlier that year. It’s unlikely he had an inkling as to how popular it would become.

Inspired by Hill’s time as a milkman for Hann’s Dairies in Eastleigh, Hampshire, the song is written as a Wild West-style ballad about the adventures of Ernie Price, whose milk cart is pulled by horses, sung by Hill in a comedy Cornish accent and joined by his regular backing group, The Ladybirds. Ernie and bread delivery man ‘Two Ton’ Ted from Teddington are feuding for the heart of Sue, a widow at number 22 Linley Lane. Cue the smut.

Review

I can remember Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) being played to me at school when I was pretty young, and most of the innuendo was lost on me, despite growing up watching Carry On films. Looking at the lyrics now, I can see that’s because it’s not actually very rude at all. Granted, there’s reference to crumpet, and these lines are a bit saucy:

‘He said you wanted pasturised
Coz pasturised is best
She says Ernie I’ll be happy
If it comes up to me chest’

But other than that, Hill manages to skirt anything too risqué. And that might be why it became so big. If anything, it’s more a song for children in the style of 1968 Christmas number 1 Lily the Pink, so timing had a lot to do with it. I can’t imagine adults sat around listening to this and laughing hysterically in 1971… perhaps 1961, but I may well be wrong. And it certainly doesn’t make me laugh in 2020, yet it still has a certain charm… a relic of a bygone age, perhaps helped by the promo film above, co-starring Henry McGee and Jan Butlin.

What doesn’t make me laugh is the fact that one of our worst ever Prime Ministers, David Cameron, has declared this one of his favourite songs ever on more than one occasion. But you can’t blame Benny Hill for Brexit.

After

Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) held firm for four weeks, even stopping T. Rex from having three number 1s in a row with Jeepster. Hill only released one more single, Fad Eyed Fal in 1972. Meanwhile The Benny Hill Show rattled on, with a film compilation of highlights from 1969-73 called The Best of Benny Hill released in cinemas in 1974. Despite some old-fashioned racism poking fun at the Chinese, this was unbelievably still being shown every now and then until recently.

As the 80s dawned, the show began to feature the ‘Hill’s Angels’, sexy ladies who would dance and appear as comic foils for Hill. But this was the decade in which such ideas looked increasingly outdated as alternative comedy grew ever more popular, and acts like Ben Elton led the way as the media began to disown him.

Looking back, the campaign against him seems too aggressive. Yes, he had enjoyed a good innings and it was high time he made way for more PC, sophisticated comedy by the end of the 80s, but the likes of Elton suggesting he was to blame for people being raped and violence against was unfair. More often than not, Hill was being chased by the girls, not the other way round… ok, all their clothes fell off… but still…

The Outro

The Benny Hill Show was finally taken off air in 1989. A quiet, private man when the cameras were off, he disappeared from the public eye completely.

It looked like he might be due a comeback in 1992. Thames began airing edited compilations of repeats due to public demand, and he was on the verge of signing with Central Television, but his health failed him. He had a mild heart attack that February, and on 22 April he was found dead in his armchair in front of the TV. Hill had died aged 68, two days previous, and one day after another old-school comedy giant, Frankie Howerd.

The Info

Written by

Benny Hill

Producer

Walter J Ridley

Weeks at number 1

4 (11 December 1971-7 January 1972)

Trivia

Births

23 December 1971: Socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
25 December: Singer Dido
5 January 1972: Conservative MP Philip Davies

Deaths

12 December: Footballer Torry Gillick/Scottish footballer Alan Morton
21 December: Pilot Charles C Banks

Meanwhile…

29 December 1971: The United Kingdom gave up its military bases in Malta.

30 December: The seventh James Bond film – Diamonds Are Forever – was released. It saw Sean Connery return to the role after George Lazenby declined to come back.

4 January 1972: Rose Heilbron became the first female judge to sit at the Old Bailey.