504. Captain Sensible – Happy Talk (1982)

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The Intro

From punk axeman to pop star – Captain Sensible, guitarist for The Damned, shocked his fans with a number 1 cover of Happy Talk – that jolly old Rodgers and Hammerstein showtune from South Pacific.

Before

Sensible was born Raymond Ian Burns on 24 April1954 in Balham. London. Growing up, he went to Stanley Technical School for Boys in South Norwood, Croydon. He spent his formative years loving music, particularly Syd Barrett-era Pink Floyd, Small Faces and Soft Machine.

Sensible became involved in the proto-punk scene, becoming a member of Johnny Moped and then Masters of the Backside, who were formed by future Sex Pistols manager Malcolm McLaren. They never recorded anything and allegedly only performed once, and consisted of Chrissie Hynde and the nucleus of what would become The Damned.

Ever wondered why so many punks had stage names? Sensible once said it was to keep their real names out of the music papers, otherwise it might stop them being able to claim dole. His name was an ironic comment on his reckless behaviour. And the iconic red beret and sunglasses were his attempt to stop getting covered in the spit of punks when performing.

The Damned formed in 1976 and consisted of Dave Vanian on vocals, Brian James on guitar, Sensible on bass and Rat Scabies on drums. Sid Vicious had been invited to audition for the singer role, but he didn’t turn up. They supported the Sex Pistols, and beat them to become the first punk band to release a single that October, with New Rose. They briefly split in 1978 and when they returned a year later, Sensible was their guitarist and keyboardist.

In 1982, Sensible found himself splitting his time between The Damned and a solo career. He had signed a deal with A&M to release an album in his own right, due to his band rejecting some of his tunes for being too melodic, but he was a track short. His producer Tony Mansfield suggested a cover version. Sensible considered See Emily Play or Waterloo Sunset, but knew he couldn’t top the originals, so he rifled through his parents’ records for ideas, and came across the record-breaking soundtrack to South Pacific.

The Rodgers and Hammerstein show premiered on Broadway back in 1949 and became the second-longest-running Broadway musical up to that point, behind their own Oklahoma!. Happy Talk is sung by Bloody Mary – originally played by Juanita Hall – to Lieutenant Joe Cable, who has begun courting her daughter, Liat. It was covered by Ella Fitzgerald in 1955, but the most famous version is from Hall reprising her role in the 1958 film, the soundtrack of which held the album chart number 1 for 115 weeks – 70 of those consecutively.

Sensible, who was ‘exceedingly drunk’ when recording his version, was backed by rock band Dolly Mixture on vocals. Sensible had recently helped produce the trio. Although it was meant to be treated as an album filler, A&M saw Happy Talk could have crossover appeal, but Sensible was having none of it. That is, until his label tricked him into thinking a pop star was intending on releasing a version. Fearing he might miss out on a hit, he relented. Little did he know he would actually end up going all the way to the top of the pops.

Happy Talk was the fifth time a Rodgers & Hammerstein song went to number 1 in the UK, and was the first since You’ll Never Walk Alone in 1963.

Review

Never underestimate the great British public’s love of latching onto a novelty track, whether good or bad. Thankfully, Sensible’s Happy Talk falls into the ‘good’ category for me. Yes, the track is annoyingly sprightly (I like few musicals) anyway, and I’ve no time for the original. And the backing music brings to mind John Shuttleworth. Actually, that’s a compliment, as I love Graham Fellows’ comic creation.

Sensible is very charismatic, and I feel few could fail to be won over by him drunkenly singing:

‘You’ve got to have a dream
If you don’t have a dream
How you gonna have a dream come true?’

The visual element makes this even more so, whether it’s his Top of the Pops appearances, or the singalong video above, the sight of this lumbering punk swaying earnestly and comically at the same time captured the hearts of many. Including me – as a child, I thought Sensible seemed ace – just a big kid misbehaving and annoying ‘grown-ups’. He would have fitted in as a resident on The Young Ones very easily. However, he did appear performing with The Damned in the episode ‘Nasty’.

After

My brother and I were proud owners of Sensible’s follow-up, Wot, a Rapper’s Delight reworking in which the good captain tries his hand at hip-hop. Despite this being superior to his Happy Talk, it was clear that was a number 1 smash in large part due to nostalgia for the song. Wot only made it to 26, though it would have a second lease of life when it was reworked for an early 90s ad campaign for Wotsits (‘no that’s a whoosh because you only get a whoosh from a Wotsit!’).

After two years juggling The Damned and his solo career, Sensible left the band. He released his last hit, Glad It’s All Over, which peaked at number six. Surprising really, as it was an anti-Falklands War song, coming only a year after the 1983 General Election, won by Margaret Thatcher in large part due to the conflict.

Sensible released material throughout the 80s, before temporarily rejoining The Damned in 1988 for a series of intended farewell shows. That same year he released a cover of The Snooker Song, from Mike Batt’s musical The Hunting of the Snark. Three years later it became the theme tune to the hit BBC One snooker gameshow Big Break.

Sensible rejoined a new line-up of The Damned with Vanian in 1996 and has stayed ever since. He’s also continued to release solo material and he joined Kirk Brandon’s second incarnation of the supergroup Dead Men Walking, now known as The Jack Tars.

The Outro

Wotsits aren’t the only snack in a bag associated with Sensible. In 2006 he formed the political protest group The Blah! Party as a reaction to Tony Blair’s leadership of the country. Part joke and part serious, they entered into a sponsorship deal with Seabrook Crisps. The deal ended in 2008 and the party de-registered from the political party register.

The Info

Written by

Richard Rodgers & Oscar Hammerstein II

Producer

Tony Mansfield

Weeks at number 1

2 (3-17 July)

Trivia

Births

8 July: Playwright James Graham
9 July: Actor Toby Kebbell

Deaths

4 July: Early British AIDS casualty Terry Higgins/Multiple murderer Barry Prudom (see ‘Meanwhile…‘)
5 July: Surgeon Geoffrey Keynes
6 July: Screenwriter Alma Reville
10 July: Classicist GEL Owen
12 July: Kenneth More
13 July: Actor Evan Thomas
15 July: Actress Enid Lorimer

Meanwhile…

3 July: ASLEF train drivers go on strike over hours of work, returning on 18 July.

4 July: Following a 17-day hunt by North Yorkshire Police, fugitive multiple murderer Barry Purdom, AKA the Phantom of the Forest, dies by suicide before police open fire. 

5 July: In the World Cup, England draw 0–0 with hosts Spain and are eliminated. Manager Ron Greenwood would subsequently retire and be succeeded by Ipswich Town manager Bobby Robson. 

9 July: Michael Fagan breaks into Buckingham Palace for the second time. This time, he is apprehended after entering the royal bedroom and being reported by Queen Elizabeth II.

15 July: British GCHQ civil servant Geoffrey Prime is remanded in custody on charges under the Official Secrets Act 1911.

503. Charlene – I‘ve Never Been to Me (1982)

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The Intro

When US easy listening singer Charlene originally released I’ve Never Been to Me for Motown in 1977, it left little mark. In 1982, she was working in a sweet shop in Ilford when the song was rereleased and subsequently went to number 1.

Before

Charlene Marilynn D’Angelo was born on 1 June 1950 in Hollywood, California. In 1973, she was signed to Motown, aged 23. Using her married name, Charlene Duncan, she released two singles. Neither Relove or All That Love Went to Waste a year later made any impression.

She then spent some time writing her own songs and recording demos – including One Day in Your Life, which became Michael Jackson’s first UK number 1 in 1981.

In 1976 she dropped her surname and recorded her eponymous debut album with producer Ron Miller, who had worked with Stevie Wonder, co-writing his hit For Once in My Life. I’ve Never Been to Me, which had been released by Randy Crawford earlier that year, was the second track.

The song had been written by Miller, with Kenneth Hirsch, and appears to come from the viewpoint of a bohemian woman, addressing a ‘discontented mother and a regimented wife’ who longs to escape her mundane existence.

Charlene’s second LP, the boringly named Songs of Love, came out a year later. It was basically a reshuffled version of Charlene. I’ve Never Been to Me was issued as a single, with the spoken-word section edited out. It only made it to number 97 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Although another album was planned, it never materialised, and following the failure of the 1980 single Hungry, from the musical Daddy Goodness, Charlene was dropped by Motown.

Fast forward three years, and Scott Shannon, a disc jockey for Tampa radio station WRBQ-FM (and former Motown employee), played the album version of I’ve Never Been to Me at the behest of his girlfriend. It became so popular, Shannon contacted the label’s president Jay Lasker. Seizing the opportunity, Lasker somehow tracked Charlene down. She had married an Englishman in March and was living in Ilford, working in a sweetshop. Of course, Charlene was more than willing to re-sign with Motown and then the album version of I’ve Never Been to Me was issued as a single.

Review

I’ve Never Been to Me is a terrible song. It’s patronising, slushy tripe with terrible lyrics. Basically, the lyrical conceit revolves around this woman listing all these incredible things she’s done – she’s travelled the world, slept with kings, sipped champagne, all kinds of things that the poor wife and mother could only dream about. But, hey, guess what? She’s ‘never been to me’, which is a crap way of saying she isn’t fulfilled and that, really, the mother is the lucky one, because she has done the most meaningful thing a woman can do.

Except, it’s all to easy to argue back, why can self-fulfilment for a woman only happen if you serve others, as a wife and mother? None of that ‘subtle whoring’ the narrator has been up to! It’s offensive to both women in the song. Lazy, stereotypical crap. And just in case you haven’t grasped the message of the song, there’s a cheesy spoken-word section to really hammer it home.

Oh, and when the lyrics do try to be symbolic, they’re so bad they create unnecessary controversy. ‘Sometimes I’ve been to cryin’ for unborn children/That might have made me complete’ made many understandably wonder if the narrator is revealing she had undergone multiple abortions. That’ll teach the subtle whore! Turns out, the intention was simply that she was mourning unborn children she may have had if she hadn’t been so bohemian.

For the video, the recently remarried Charlene wore her wedding dress, sauntering around Blickling Hall forlornly.

After

I’ve Never Been to Me became inexplicably huge, reaching number 1 in the UK, Canada, Ireland and Australia. It went to three in the US, becoming the first top 10 hit for Motown by a white singer. An album was released with the same name, containing a mix of old and new recordings. However, Charlene couldn’t repeat her surprise success. Her third single, It Ain’t Easy Coming Down, was reissued, but sank, despite appearing in the film The Last American Virgin.

Later in the year, she teamed up with Stevie Wonder on the single Used to Be. Despite Wonder’s number 1 success with Paul McCartney, this also tanked. Although that may have been due to its controversial lyrics – Wonder may have been commenting on the way he feared society was heading, but singing ‘Have another Chivas Regal/You’re 12-years old and sex is legal.’ resulted in an outright ban in the UK.

In 1984 Charlene released the LP Hit & Run Lover, which had a more modern sound, but it bombed. After an appearance in the Motown martial arts film (!) The Last Dragon, she was dropped by her label again.

In 2002, Charlene, now back in the US, released a dance remix of her hit, and has been sporadically releasing material online as Charlene Oliver since 2012.

The Outro

I’ve Never Been to Me has surfaced many times since 1982, including appearances in Will & Grace, Desperate Housewives, Shrek the Third (2007) and most memorably in the opening of The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994).

The Info

Written by

Ron Miller & Kenneth Hirsch

Producers

Ron Miller, Don Costa & Berry Gordy

Weeks at number 1

1 (26 June-2 July)

Trivia

Deaths

26 June: Snooker player Kingsley Kennerley/Comedian Sandy Powell
30 June: Children’s author Malcolm Saville

Meanwhile…

2 July: Roy Jenkins, former Labour Party Home Secretary and Chancellor, is elected as Leader of the Social Democratic Party.

502. Adam Ant – Goody Two Shoes (1982)

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The Intro

Adam and the Ants were one of Britain’s hottest acts of the early 80s, and when the flamboyant frontman decided to go solo, you could forgive him for thinking he had a bright future. However, despite Goody Two Shoes being an excellent debut and worthy number 1, it was the beginning of the end of Adam Ant’s peak.

Before

Ant’s solo career came about very quickly. In January 1982, Adam and the Ants were at number three with Ant Rap – a very respectable place after their two chart-topping singles in 1981, Stand and Deliver! and Prince Charming. Their album Kings of the Wild Frontier won the BRIT Award for British Album of the Year.

The split was announced in March. Ant was a workaholic and felt the band weren’t putting the effort in anymore, and guitarist and co-songwriter Marco Pirroni had decided to quit performing live. The duo decided to work together to launch Ant as a solo star.

Ant was wise to move fast and release new material as soon as possible, as his commercial standing was at its peak. And the meaning behind Goody Two Shoes couldn’t be more timely. The British press had been busy trying to find out about any scandals surrounding the hippest pop star of the era, and came up short. Ant was teetotal and didn’t smoke, and journalists wanted to know, ‘what do you do?’. So Ant moved away from the dandy highwaymen and noblemen characters that had made him famous, and turned inwards.

Goody Two Shoes was also recorded quickly, and featured three fifths of the Ants, as Pirroni was on guitar and Chris Hughes played the drums. It may well have been the case that Ant was still debating whether to release the single under the Adam and the Ants name, as there are versions of the single under that name.

Review

You can really feel the urgency in Goody Two Shoes due primarily to Hughes’ echoing drumbeat, underpinning the song and not exactly light years from the Burundi beats of Kings of the Wild Frontier. However, it’s less new wave than Adam and the Ants material and distinctly pop – actually reminiscent of 50s rock’n’roll thanks to the rockabilly style guitar.

The lyrics are great, and it was a bold move by Ant to bait journalists and fire their words back at them. ‘Subtle innuendos follow/Must be something inside’ is a not very subtle reference to Ant being a sex addict – his only vice at the time, but the problem for the press was, nobody was willing to dish the dirt on the devilishly handsome Ant’s antics in the bedroom and elsewhere.

It’s not purely about Ant’s squeaky clean image. The first lines – ‘With your heartbreak open/So much you can’t hide’, suggest Ant might not be as happy and content as his public image suggested. Although once he’s got his makeup on, he reverts to the mission statement verse that starts ‘We don’t follow fashion’ – a very Adam and the Ants proclamation that he’s the trendsetter. The next verse is actually a tribute to Dexys Midnight Runners singer Kevin Rowland – Ant was rumoured to be considering teaming up with Rowland, but didn’t want to follow his tough rules. It doesn’t come across in his heartfelt lines, inspired by a 1981 Dexys concert he witnessed:

‘When they saw you kneelin’
Cryin’ words that you mean
Openin’ their eyeballs, eyeballs
Pretendin’ that you’re Al Green, Al Green’.

As always with Ant’s hits, the video is excellent. This day shows a day in the life of the singer as he deals with being hounded by the press – one of which was played by Norman Cook, a few years from fame as one of The Housemartins and a long way off becoming Fatboy Slim. It also features comedy actor Graham Stark as his butler, Till Death Us Do Part star Dandy Nichols as a cleaner, and horror actress Caroline Munro, who plays a journalist that Ant takes home and gets it on with. Must be something inside, indeed.

It’s a shame that Ant’s star fell so quickly after Goody Two Shoes – however, his last number 1 is as great as his previous chart-toppers and a very fitting way for him to bow out of this blog.

After

Goody Two Shoes was released on 7 May and Ant pulled out all the stops 13 days later with an awesome appearance on Top of the Pops. Seemingly filmed in one take, Ant takes over the studio as the camera follows him miming and dancing in front of several backdrops, before being joined by a bevy of dancers on a dancefloor surrounded by the audience. A few weeks later, it overtook House of Fun and became number 1.

Ant then went into the studio that June to record his debut solo LP, Friend or Foe. A new version of Goody Two Shoes was recorded for the album, featuring Bogdan Wiczling on drums instead. There’s not much difference, but the single version has more reverberation and is slightly superior. The title track to the album, made it number 9, but lacklustre follow-up Desperate But Not Serious only scraped in at 33.

A year later, the album Strip saw a brief return to the limelight with the decent single Puss ‘n Boots (featuring Phil Collins on drums) reaching number five, but the title track didn’t even make the top 40. Apollo 9 peaked at 13 in 1984. The law of diminishing returns came thick and fast for Ant. His songs had lost their spark and the goodwill of his fans was evaporating.

Famously, Ant’s appearance at Live Aid was a huge misfire. His set was cut to one track, and he chose to ignore his hits and perform Vive Le Rock, the title track to his as-yet-unreleased album, produced by Tony Visconti. Despite the size of the audience at Wembley Stadium and around the world on TV, the eventual single release failed to chart. Ant decided to focus on acting instead.

In 1990 Ant returned with the album Manners & Physique, produced by André Cymone, a former bassist for Prince. It was a brief but welcome return, with the single Room at the Top climbing to 13. It did even better in the US, becoming his biggest hit there, soaring to number three.

Five years later, Ant released Wonderful, a more reflective album, featuring Morrissey’s guitarist Boz Boorer. The decent title track peaked at 32 and is his last charting single to date.

In 2002 Ant returned to the limelight, but due to his mental health problems. Pre-fame, in 1975, Ant had been diagnosed as bipolar after overdosing on pills. 27 years later he was on the nostalgia circuit when he was arrested and charged for throwing a car alternator through a pub and then threatening people inside with a starting pistol. The imagery of a former dandy highwayman behaving in such a way proved sadly hilarious for many, but Ant was unwell, and he was placed under psychiatric care. The fact that a year later he and Boorer made a well-meaning rework of Stand and Deliver into Save the Gorillas for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund drew further laughs.

Since then, Ant has swung from acclaimed live shows of his classic albums to further mental health struggles. In 2010 he returned to psychiatric hospital. Two years later came his last album to date, the astoundingly named Adam Ant Is the Blueblack Hussar in Marrying the Gunner’s Daughter.

The Outro

Charismatic, dynamic and witty, Ant was my first musical hero and I fell in love with pop music thanks to him. His time at the top was all too brief but he burned bright and created some truly classic tracks in the early 80s. I hope that despite his demons, he knows how loved he is by his fans.

The Info

Written by

Adam Ant & Marco Pirroni

Producers

Adam Ant, Marco Pirroni & Chris Hughes

Weeks at number 1

2 (12-25 June)

Trivia

Births

12 June: Cricketer James Tomlinson
17 June: Actress Jodie Whittaker/Actor Arthur Darvill
20 June: Rapper Example
21 June: William, Prince of Wales

Deaths

12 June: Falklands War casualty Sergeant Ian McKay (see ‘Meanwhile…‘)
16 June: Pretenders guitarist James Honeyman-Scott
17 June: Olympic rower Walter James, 4th Baron Northbourne
22 June: Actor Alan Webb

Meanwhile…

12 June: The last battles of the Falklands War draw to a close at Mount Longdon, Mount Harriet and Two Sisters. Sergeant Ian McKay is killed at Mount Longdon, and is awarded a posthumous Victoria Cross.

14 June: The Falklands War officially ends as British forces reach the outskirts of Stanley. They arrive to find the Argentine forces flying white flags of surrender. The formal surrender is signed that evening. 

16 June: Welsh miners go on strike to support health workers demanding a 12% pay rise.

19 June: The body of Roberto Calvi, aka ‘God’s Banker’, is found hanging beneath Blackfriars Bridge in London.

21 June: William, Prince of Wales becomes the first birth in direct line of succession to the British throne to be born in a hospital – St Mary’s Hospital in Paddington.

23 June: Support for Margaret Thatcher’s Conservative government continues to rise, largely due to the success of the Falklands War campaign.

24 June: The Coatbridge and Airdrie by-election is held in Scotland following the death of sitting Labour MP James Dempsey. Labour’s Tom Clarke is the victor.

25 June: Northern Ireland defeat hosts Spain 1-0 in the World Cup.

501. Madness – House of Fun (1982)

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The Intro

Madness are one of the most lovable bands of the 80s, with many fondly remembered hits to their name. So it’s surprising – scandalous, really – that House of Fun is the only chart-topper by ‘the Nutty Boys’.

Before

It all began in Camden Town, 1976, with the North London Invaders. The trio consisted of keyboardist Mike Barson, guitarist Chris Foreman and Lee Thompson on saxophone – Monsieur Barso, Chrissy Boy and Kix, respectively. They then recruited John Hasler on drums and Cathal Smyth (aka Chas Smash) on bass and – for one gig only – Dikran Tulaine as their singer. He went on to become a successful actor, these days in the US.

There were some important comings and goings in 1977. Graham McPherson (Suggs) took over as their vocalist after seeing the North London Invaders performing in a friend’s garden. However, Barson caused further shuffling around. Smash briefly left after an argument with him and was replaced by Gavin Rodgers. Suggs was then thrown out by Barson for his lack of commitment, with Hasler filling in as singer and Gary Dovey replacing him on drums. Thompson then left after Barson had criticised his prowess.

The following year saw Suggs and Thompson brought back into the fold, but Dovey and Rodgers left. They were replaced by Dan Woodgate (Woody) and Mark Bedford (Bedders) respectively. For a time, the North London Invaders became known as Morris and the Minors, but in 1979 they finally settled on Madness, as a nod to one of their favourite songs by ska singer Prince Buster. Smash returned at the end of that year in the new guise of backing vocalist and dancer.

They signed with Specials songwriter Jerry Dammers’ 2 Tone Records and released their first single. The Prince was another nod to Prince Buster, with Madness as the B-side. The 2 Tone Records signing was a wise move – they went to number 16.

Madness became regulars at the Dublin Castle in Camden Town and went on tour with The Specials and The Selecter, before knuckling down to record their debut album, which was to be released on their new label, Stiff Records. One Step Beyond… was a big success. The title track, another Prince Buster cover, went to number seven. More promising was that their own composition, My Girl, did even better, peaking at number three. The Work, Rest and Play EP, featuring album track Night Boat to Cairo, climbed to number six, proving that the kids couldn’t get enough of Madness. In the UK, at least – Madness proved to be a very British phenomenon, whose single videos displayed their quirky sense of humour and were a big factor in their appeal.

Their second album, Absolutely, was released in 1980, and although critics were somewhat less glowing, the public were still very much in love. Some of Madness’s biggest hits were spawned – the classic Baggy Trousers soared to number three, Embarrassment made it to number four and The Return of the Los Palmas 7 climbed to – of course – seven.

Madness’s third album – 7 – came in 1981 and showcased a darker, less upbeat sound. Nonetheless, its singles did well – Grey Day reached four and Shut Up peaked at seven. A further glimpse of their growing maturity came with their excellent cover of Labi Siffre’s It Must Be Love, a deserved smash hit that somehow went no higher than four. A rare example of a cover being better than the original.

Such was Madness’s popularity, a greatest hits compilation was planned for release in 1982. Complete Madness also included one new track – House of Fun.

Originally titled Chemist Facade, House of Fun was co-written by Barson and Thompson about a 16-year-old boy who wants to celebrate his coming of age by buying condoms at his local chemist. However, he’s too embarrassed to come right out and buy any, and spends so long skirting around the issue with euphemisms, the chemist assumes he’s actually looking for a joke shop.

A great premise for a song, and boasting a catchy tune that’s very Madness. However, there was no chorus, until Stiff head (fnarr) Dave Robinson demanded one. Conflicting stories claim that either Barson banged it out there and then on the piano, or Suggs came up with it. Either way, the magic ingredient was found, the chorus was edited into what they believed had been a finished recording, and Madness deservedly earned their sole number one.

Review

Like any boy with a sense of fun, an ear for a tune and a love of daft videos, I bloody loved Madness, and House of Fun was – along with Baggy Trousers – my favourite record by the Nutty Boys. Of course, I had no idea what the lyrics were about – I was very young and innocent (only three when it was released) and took it very literally. Why wouldn’t Madness want to hang out in a joke shop, when they were so bloody funny?

The lyrics are great, and, much like Baggy Trousers, encapsulated the reason Madness were and are still so beloved by Brits. Charming, witty and nostalgic, they weren’t afraid to write about subjects other than relationships – although they were great at that too (My Girl is surprisingly touching and insightful for such nascent songwriters).

It’s one of their poppiest tunes, too. Had House of Fun remained Chemist Facade, it would still be among their best singles, as the brass punctuating the verses is a hell of a hook. Whether it was Barson or Suggs, hats off to whoever added the excellent chorus into the mix. This was the sound of a band with the Midas Touch, back then. And after too many MOR, bland number 1s for my liking, House of Fun was a very welcome single to review for me.

And the video! Madness made some of the best pop videos, brimming with imagination and comedy. Suggs does a great job as the awkward 16-year-old – his trademark jerky twitches fitted the part so well. When three of the band enter the chemist and begin dancing, it’s like a sketch from Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

In keeping with the theme of the song – the director employs the same method as the boy, preferring to skirt around the true theme with joke shop, fun house imagery. The chemist scenes were filmed in Kilburn, the joke shop in Camden, and the rollercoaster scene was filmed at the Pleasure Beach in Great Yarmouth. Suggs claimed the director made the band go round the ride 54 times before being happy with the result.

After

Complete Madness also went to number 1 on the album chart, despite presumably nearly everyone already owning everything contained within. 1982 was peak Madness, with a few more classics still to come. Driving in My Car might not have been the cleverest song, but we kids loved this too, and it peaked at four.

Our House saw Madness back to their lovable best, yet somehow it only climbed to number five as the year drew to a close. It was the first fruits of their next album, the diverse The Rise & Fall. It was to prove a rather ironic title, as the Nutty Boys began to slide commercially from here on in – though standalone singles The Wings of a Dove and The Sun and the Rain did well in 1983, finishing at two and five respectively.

Barson, who was considered the musical lynchpin of Madness, was becoming increasingly reclusive as fame began to exhaust him. He had moved to Amsterdam with his wife during the making of the last LP, and had begun covering his face up on promo shoots. In October, while the group discussed potentially starring in a new sitcom that would be written by Ben Elton and Richard Curtis, he announced he was leaving once they had finished recording new album, called Keep Moving, of all things.

As of 1984, Madness were no longer able to crack the top 10. Michael Caine reached 11 and One Better Day only 17. With Barson gone, the remaining members left Stiff. 1985 album Mad Not Mad featured a more synth-heavy sound. The sombre single Yesterday’s Men reached 18, followed by Uncle Sam at 21. Sweetest Girl scraped in at 35.

Madness soldiered on, but never completed their next album. In 1986 they announced they were to split after one more single – (Waiting For) The Ghost Train – which Barson came back for (but refused to promote).

Suggs, Smash, Thompson and Foreman reconvened as the confusingly named The Madness. Bedford and Woodgate joined Voice of the Beehive, though the former left before they became famous. He played bass on Morrissey’s 1991 album Kill Uncle.

After The Madness, Thompson and Foreman started new band The Nutty Boys and Smash became an A&R executive for Go! Discs. Suggs struggled the most, and after having therapy he tried his hand at stand-up comedy, managing and producing The Farm and collaborating with Morrissey, before embarking on a solo career.

In 1992, the number six re-release of It Must Be Love inspired the band to reform for the reunion concert Madstock!, which was a huge success despite Mozza being heckled off stage as their support act. They reunited for several more Madstocks and Christmas tours, before agreeing to record their first album in 13 years. Wonderful, released in 1999, included their decent comeback single Lovestruck, which peaked at 10.

From 2002 to 2003, Madness were involved in Our House, a musical based on their songs, which won the Olivier Award for best new musical. A year later they celebrated their 25th anniversary by playing a series of concerts as The Dangermen. This resulted in the 2005 ska covers album The Dangermen Sessions Vol. 1. During the recording sessions, Foreman quit the band, but returned a year later. The single Shame & Scandal only reached number 38.

2009 saw the release of their first album of new material since 1999. The Liberty of Norton Folgate was a modest success, with single NW5 reaching number 24. It’s their last charting single to date. I saw them perform at Glastonbury Festival that year, with a brilliant set of the hits and new material that fitted in seamlessly. Three years later they performed on the roof of Buckingham Palace for Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee and at the London Olympic Games Closing Ceremony.

Madness released their 10th studio album, Oui Oui, Si Si, Da Da in 2013. A year later, Smash announced his departure to focus on a solo career, while Bedford, who had only performed with them ad hoc since 2009, returned full-time. Another album, Can’t Touch Us Now, was released in 2016. Then in 2023 came their last album to date. Amazingly, Theatre of the Absurd Presents C’est La Vie is their only number one LP.

The Outro

Madness are a great British institution and I hope they continue to perform for many years to come. In a year of sometimes great, sometimes poor number 1s, House of Fun is up there with the best.

It’s also worth noting the irony of a song about birth control being at the top of the charts when Pope John Paul II visited the UK (see ‘Meanwhile...’).

The Info

Written by

Lee Thompson & Mike Barson

Producers

Clive Langer & Alan Winstanley

Weeks at number 1

2 (29 May-11 June)

Trivia

Births

7 June: Actress Amy Nuttall

Deaths

3 June: Writer Ronald Duncan
6 June: Welsh Labour MP Ifor Davies
9 June: Botanist Richard St Barbe Baker

Meanwhile…

29 May: Pope John Paul II became the first reigning pontiff to visit the UK.
Also on this day, the Battle of Goose Green at the Falklands War comes to an end when British paratroopers defeat the larger army of Argentine troops.

3 June: Shlomo Argov, the Israeli ambassador to the UK, is shot in London.
Also on this day, the Mitcham and Morden by-election is held, with Angela Rumbold gaining the seat for the Conservatives. It was the first gain by a ruling party since 1961, and the last until 2017.

8 June: 48 British servicemen are killed when two supply ships are bombed by Argentine air strikes off Bluff Cove in the Falklands War.

9 June: The 20 pence coin is issued into circulation.

11 June: The last battles of the Falklands War begin at Mount Longdon, Mount Harriet and Two Sisters.

500. Nicole – A Little Peace (1982)

/ robbarker1979

The Intro

One year on from Bucks Fizz’s Eurovision winner/number 1, Making Your Mind Up, 17-year-old German singer-songwriter Nicole Seibert won the competition with Ein bißchen Frieden. Her English language version, A Little Peace then toppled the similarly utopian Ebony and Ivory.

Before

Nicole was born in Saarbrücken, West Germany on 25 October, 1964. She had begun performing aged only four. Commercial success first came when she was 16, when her debut single Flieg nicht so hoch, mein kleiner Freund reached number two in Austria.

On 24 March 1982, Nicole competed in Ein Lied für Harrogate and became the chosen entry for her native country with Ein bißchen Frieden, which had been written by prolific Eurovision composer Ralph Siegel and lyricist Bernd Meinunger.

West Germany had entered every Eurovision Song Contest since its inception but had never won. A teenage girl singing a kitsch folk tune about world peace was a smart choice and paid off. At Harrogate International Centre on 24 April 1982, Nicole didn’t just win – she stormed it, scoring 161, with Israel coming second on 100 points. And she celebrated by impressing the judges, the audience and millions at home once more by singing the reprise of her song in German, English, French and Dutch.

Review

The effect of nostalgia is going to have an increasing impact on my reviews now, having been a young boy in the early 80s. And it will potentially muddy the waters, as it does here. Do I like Nicole’s A Little Peace? It’s certainly not the type of thing I’d listen to by choice and my review would be more negative had I not associate it with my childhood.

I have vague but warm memories of listening to this in class, and singing along with everyone. I’m not sure why – I was only three in 1982, and I’m thinking it was more likely to be the mid- or even late-80s. So I can’t help but have a soft spot for A Little Peace. It’s no Making Your Mind Up – but as a saccharine Euro-ballad, it’s way better than Dana’s All Kinds of Everything. And it’s an earworm, but in a good way, unlike some Eurovision horrors like Puppet on a String.

It’s interesting that a ballad that yearns for world peace became number 1 during the overt and at times ugly patriotism of the Falklands War – but the people who loved The Sun’s ‘GOTCHA’ headline and bought this single most likely didn’t even notice the irony.

After

It must have already been intended that Ein bißchen Frieden would be released with English lyrics (by Paul Greeds) to coincide with the Eurovision appearance. It was a canny move. The UK loved the song and there was definitely a love of MOR euro-pop in the air that spring. In various guises, Ein bißchen Frieden sold millions

It remains highly regarded by Eurovision fans, to the extent it was one of 14 songs out of 992 to be selected for participation in the 2005 TV special Congratulations: 50 Years of the Eurovision Song Contest, where it came seventh. Nicole didn’t appear, but she did perform the song in English, Italian, German and French in the 60th anniversary special Eurovision Song Contest’s Greatest Hits.

The Outro

Nicole continued to release jazz, rock, pop and gospel albums after Eurovision. She also raises money for humanitarian causes.

The Info

Written by

Ralph Siegel & Bernd Meinunger (English lyrics by Paul Greedus)

Producer

Robert Jung

Weeks at number 1

2 (15-28 May)

Trivia

Births

19 May: Footballer Kevin Amankwaah

Deaths

17 May: Mountaineers Peter Boardman and Joe Tasker
18 May: Actor Ralph Reader/Television writer Elwyn Jones
28 May: Lieutenant-Colonel Herbert Jones (see ‘Meanwhile…‘)

Meanwhile…

21 May: Royal Marines and paratroopers from the British Task Force land at San Carlos Bay on the Falkland Islands, and the British frigate HMS Ardent is sunk by Argentine aircraft in Falkland Sound, killing 22 sailors.
Also on this day, the legendary Haçienda nightclub opens in Manchester.

22 May: FA Cup holders Tottenham Hotspur draw 1-1 with Queen’s Park Rangers in the final at Wembley Stadium, forcing a replay. Spurs play without Argentine Ossie Ardiles and Ricardo Villa, who were removed from the team following barracking from rival fans over the Falklands War.

23 May: The frigate HMS Antelope explodes after being hit by Argentine aircraft.

25 May: The destroyer HMS Coventry and the requisitioned container ship SS Atlantic Conveyor are sunk by Argentine missiles.

26 May: The reservoir Kielder Water opens in Northumberland. It is the largest artificial lake in the UK and is surrounded by Kielder Forest, one of the largest planted woodlands in Europe.

27 May: Spurs win the FA Cup 1-0, equalling Aston Villa’s record of seven FA Cup victories.
Also on this day, Tim Smith retains the Conservative seat at the Beaconsfield by-election.

28 May: Pope John Paul II becomes the first reigning pope to visit the UK.
Also on this day, the Battle of Goose Green becomes the first land battle of the Falklands War. Lieutenant-Colonel Herbert Jones was awarded a posthumous Victoria Cross for his part in the battle.

Every UK Number 1: The Beatles and Their Solo Years – Kindle version available now on Amazon!

/ robbarker1979

The latest book in the Every UK Number 1 series is available now for Amazon Kindle devices. A paperback edition is coming very soon and will be available on Amazon, with signed copies to follow in my Store.

Click here to buy the Kindle version, or read on for more info.

The Beatles changed the course of pop history – and the UK singles chart was never the same again.

Every UK Number 1: The Beatles and Their Solo Years is the ultimate deep dive into the chart-topping story of John, Paul, George and Ringo – together and apart. Drawing on the acclaimed research and reviews from Every UK Number 1: The 60s, this special edition brings together the full story of The Beatles’ 17 number ones, alongside every chart-topper they achieved during their solo careers, and their triumphant return in 2023.

As seen in The Daily Mirror and on everyuknumber1.com, music journalist Rob Barker revisits the long and winding road that defined generations — from the raw optimism of From Me to You to the poignant finality of Now and Then/Love Me Do, and beyond into the solo triumphs of Imagine, Mull of Kintyre, My Sweet Lord and more

This Beatles-focused collection gathers all the in-depth reviews first published in Every UK Number 1: The 60s, placing each hit in its cultural and political context as Beatlemania exploded and Britain became the centre of the musical universe. But this book goes further.

Alongside the original Beatles chart-toppers, you’ll find brand new and previously unpublished material covering every solo UK number one. From McCartney’s post-Beatles reinvention in Wings and Harrison’s spiritual breakthrough, to Lennon’s bittersweet comeback, each record is examined with fresh perspective and behind-the-scenes detail.

There’s also an exclusive section dedicated to the charity number one singles the Beatles were part of after the band’s split – from Band Aid to Hillsborough tributes and beyond.

This is more than a list of songs. It’s a chronicle of how four young men from Liverpool reshaped popular music – and how, even after the split, they continued to dominate the charts in their own unique ways. Discover the stories behind the screaming fans, the studio tensions, the reinventions, the rivalries and the reunions that never quite happened.

Whether you’re a lifelong Beatles obsessive or discovering their story for the first time, Every UK Number 1: The Beatles and Their Solo Years offers a compelling, nostalgic and revealing journey through decades of number one history.

Because when it comes to UK chart success, nobody did it bigger – or better – than The Beatles.

499. Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder – Ebony and Ivory (1982)

/ robbarker1979

The Intro

Ebony and Ivory started out as a demo for Wings inspired by a marital tiff. It mutated into a well-intentioned but often-ridiculed number 1 duet between Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, two of the greatest singer-songwriters of all time.

Before

Wings had hit their commercial peak in 1977 with the Christmas number 1 double A-side Mull of Kintyre/Girls School. It had eclipsed even The Beatles singles chart figures to become the biggest-selling single ever at that point. However, only two years later, McCartney was growing weary of maintaining the band. He decided his next album would be the first to be billed as a solo effort since 1970’s McCartney, which had caused controversy by being accompanied by a press release that had resulted in the break-up of the Fab Four.

It made sense for the 1980 LP to be named McCartney II, as it was a return to eccentric, loose songs featuring only McCartney. However, this time the instrumentation heavily featured synthesisers. When Coming Up peaked at two, and even impressed John Lennon, he must have felt vindicated in his decision. History (sort of) repeated itself when Denny Laine quit Wings in April 1981, and the band dissolved. Around the same time, McCartney was already working on his next solo album, Tug of War, which saw him reunited with Beatles producer George Martin. Sessions had been cancelled earlier that winter after the shocking murder of Lennon.

One of the songs, Ebony and Ivory, had originally been conceived for Wings in 1978, after an argument with his wife Linda. ‘It was like, “Why can’t we get it together? Our piano can.”‘, as he succinctly but unrealistically put it during a 1997 interview with Record Collector.

However, McCartney more recently said in his 2021 book The Lyrics: 1956 To The Present that he wrote and demoed the track in 1980, during the unrest that was starting to take place in the UK, which included a riot at the Black and White Café in Bristol that April. He recalled hearing comedian Spike Milligan say: ‘Black notes, white notes, and you need to play the two to make harmony, folks!’. Of course, he may be misremembering one or the other, or there’s truth in both stories.

Either way, he knew Ebony and Ivory‘s naive messaging would have more resonance if he turned it into a duet with a black male singer – who better than Stevie Wonder?

Stevland Hardaway Judkins was born in Saginaw, Michigan on 13 May, 1950. He was six weeks premature and developed retinopathy of prematurity, which left him blind. We’ll have none of that conspiracy theory claiming he isn’t, here. When he was four his mother divorced and the family moved to Detroit, and he began singing at Whitestone Baptist Church, becoming a soloist aged eight.

Judkins totally fell in love with music and surprised everyone by learning an array of instruments at such a young age. He formed a partnership with a friend, and Stevie and John became known for singing on street corners and performing at local parties.

In 1961, aged 11, Judkins sang his own song, Lonely Boy, to Ronnie White of The Miracles. White could see massive potential and took the boy and his mother, Lula Hardaway, to Motown. CEO Berry Gordy signed him to Tamla and his surname was legally changed to Morris, an old family name. However, he was christened ‘Little Stevie Wonder’ by Gordy and co.

Two albums followed – Tribute to Uncle Ray and The Jazz Soul of Little Stevie, released in reverse order in 1962. The following year, Wonder released the live LP Recorded Live: The 12 Year Old Genius, which featured a performance of the largely instrumental Fingertips. Split across two sides as a single, Fingertips – Part Two rocketed to the Billboard number 1 in the US. Wonder was only 13 when he became the youngest ever act to top the chart.

However, the novelty of ‘Little Stevie’ was in danger of fading as his teen years began, inevitably. His voice was changing and Motown executives were considering dropping him. In 1964 he appeared in two films – Muscle Beach Party and Bikini Beach, and also released a concept album of sorts, Stevie at the Beach, full of lacklustre surfing songs. Wonder was not The Beach Boys, and was floundering.

Fortunately, producer and songwriter Sylvia Moy reckoned it wasn’t over for Wonder yet. Together, with arranger Henry Cosby, they co-wrote the storming single Uptight (Everything’s Alright), which was a very well-deserved hit in 1965. This classic Motown stomper reached three in the US, and was his breakthrough UK hit, reaching 14. His stock having risen once more, he had a few more hits over here, including a cover of Bob Dylan’s Blowin’ in the Wind (36) and A Place in the Sun (20) in 1966. This was the same year that McCartney and Wonder met for the first time, after the latter had played a gig in London.

Wonder branched out into songwriting for others, co-writing Smokey Robinson and The Miracles’ beautiful The Tears of a Clown in 1967, which became a UK chart-topper three years later. For the rest of the 60s, he would release several classic singles, which featured on albums of otherwise average material. these included I Was Made to Love Her (five in 1967), For Once in My Life (three in 1968) and My Cherie Amour (four in 1969).

The 70s began very promising, with the LP Signed, Sealed & Delivered spawning another classic, his first self-produced song Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours, which surprisingly only reached 15. It also contained that rare feat – a Beatles cover that is perhaps better than the original – We Can Work It Out (27).

In September 1970, Wonder married songwriter Syreeta Wright. They worked together on his next album, Where I’m Coming From, which showcased a more mature sound and themes akin to his labelmate Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On. Inevitably the two were compared, and Gaye won out. Wonder’s album was considered a little weird for audiences at the time. Nonetheless, it’s an interesting bridge between Wonder’s earlier work and what was to come, including the lovely ballad Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer and the sweet If You Really Love Me (20).

Wonder’s contract with Tamla was coming to an end, and he was becoming increasingly interested in synthesisers. He used recordings of new material produced alongside Tonto’s Expanding Head Band to leverage a new contract with the label that gave him full artistic control. This was released as Music of My Mind. Hot on its heels was the more successful Talking Book, which came the same year and featured songs recorded at the same sessions. The phenomenally funky Superstition and tender You Are the Sunshine of My Life went to 11 and seven respectively in the UK, and of course the former in particular is among his best work and something I’ll never tire of.

The golden period of Wonder’s music was in full flow, and in 1973 came Innervisions, perhaps his best LP, which spawned excellent singles Higher Ground (29), Living for the City (15) and He’s Misstra Know It All (10).

That August, Wonder was seriously injured. While on tour, a car he was in hit the back of a farm truck, resulting in the star suffering a fractured skull and cerebral contusion. He fell into a coma for four days, but was soon performing once again.

In 1974 came yet another brilliant album. The tongue-twisting Fulfillingness’ First Finale spawned the angry, funky You Haven’t Done Nothin and bouncy Boogie On Reggae Woman, which went to 30 and 12 respectively. Later that year he jammed with McCartney and John Lennon, which eventually surfaced on the bootleg album A Toot and a Snore in ’74.

Anyone would be forgiven for thinking Wonder was simply taking a very well-earned year off in 1975, as no new material was released. But no, he was actually working on double album (and accompanying EP) Songs in the Key of Life. I’m going to be a little controversial here and say it’s possibly a little overrated – but when it’s good, it’s magnificent. Among the considerable highlights are hit singles I Wish (five) and Sir Duke, which sadly just missed out on reaching the top spot – it peaked at two in 1977 and really should have become his first UK number 1. Wonder’s 70s ended with Stevie Wonder’s Journey Through ‘The Secret Life of Plants’. Yes, it was a film score, but it’s hard work and his first misfire in a long time.

The 80s began with a return to form in Hotter Than July. His last great album, it included 1980 singles Master Blaster (Jammin’), which deservedly soared to two, and I Ain’t Gonna Stand for It, which reached 10. The following year, Lately went to three, and Happy Birthday did one better.

That February, Wonder travelled to Montserrat to meet McCartney at AIR Studios. The latter later recalled that his guest had been annoyingly evasive but at last they could begin working together. Sessions took place from 27 February to 2 March. As well as being two of the greatest songwriters of all time, McCartney and Wonder are also adept multi-instrumentalists. On this track, the former played acoustic and bass guitars, piano, synths, vocoder and percussion. The latter played electric piano, synths, drums and percussion. Wonder left McCartney at it to perform overdubs – but not before the two jammed on the funky and far superior What’s That You’re Doing?.

Review

Ah, Ebony and Ivory. Well, first off, I’m not stupid enough to call it either legend’s finest 7-inch, but I’m not here to run it into the ground, either.

The good: I’ve no doubt McCartney and Wonder’s hearts were in the right place. Perhaps the former felt Ebony and Ivory would replicate Lennon’s Imagine? Both are piano-led, both long for a better world, and both have been derided for naive, simplistic, even (in Lennon’s case) hypocritical messaging. McCartney was of course still in the very early days of grieving for his lost songwriting partner. It is of course catchy as hell, and I really like the middle eight instrumental section, straight before the ‘Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony’ chanting.

The bad: Yes, the simplicity is patronising and at worst you could accuse McCartney of being treating his audience as morons. It’s a lovely thought to compare white and black people and say, hey, why don’t we all just get on, eh? But it’s also pretty bloody insulting to look past centuries of suffering, of bloodshed, and hatred. It plays into both artists at their worst – that saccharine and cheesy side both can be guilty of. The 80s were of course a rough time for many musical legends, and definitely was the case for McCartney and Wonder. The very fact this song was in effect the first chart-topper for McCartney on his own (we’re not counting Wings’ Mull of Kintyre here) and Wonder is a sad indictment on record buyers in the UK.

The silly: I remember as a very young boy being fascinated by seeing the video on TV. How big must that giant piano that those two men are walking on actually be. Aged 46, it’s hilarious. It’s very clear that both musicians were filmed separately, so with 21st century eyes, they look awkward and that adds another layer to the song’s messaging. The silhouettes of the Rastafarians dancing are embarrassing – and why does McCartney get to portray himself as playing loads of instruments (reminiscent of the video to the way cooler Coming Up), but Wonder is relegated to keyboard only? Possibly McCartney’s ego and/or revenge for Wonder being unavailable at times?

McCartney also recorded a version minus Wonder. Not sure why – it certainly wouldn’t have been to keep racists happy.

After

Ebony and Ivory was always destined to be a hit initially. Two huge stars, together for a good cause. It went to number 1 in many countries and in the US, it meant Wonder had now topped the Billboard chart across three consecutive decades. And it marked the start of a very 80s phenomenon – the pop star duet, in which stars whose stars were in danger of falling would work together to keep in the public eye. The sum usually being great than the parts, at this point in the careers of these artists…

The Outro

McCartney and Wonder’s duet was spoofed and ridiculed right from the start, with Saturday Night Live getting in there first in a sketch featuring the rising comic Eddie Murphy as Wonder. In 2007, listeners to BBC 6 Music voted Ebony and Ivory the worst duet in history. 2025 saw the release of a bizarre biopic under the same name, which plays fast and loose with the making of the song.

But remember this when you laugh at Ebony and Ivory – apartheid was still a thing in 1982, and the South African Broadcasting Corporation banned it – so job done, in a sense.

The Info

Written by

Paul McCartney

Producer

George Martin

Weeks at number 1

3 (24 April-14 May)

Trivia

Births

24 April: Television presenter Laura Hamilton 
26 April: S Club 7 singer Jon Lee
28 April: Reality TV star Nikki Grahame
1 May: Northern Irish actor Jamie Dornan
3 May: Actress Rebecca Hall
4 May: Comedian John Robins
10 May: Footballer Adebayo Akinfenwa

Deaths

24 April: Historian Hilda Stewart Reid
25 April: Actress Celia Johnson
28 April: Cricketer Nobby Clark
30 April: Unionist MP Vernon Willey, 2nd Baron Barnby
1 May: Violist William Primrose
4 May: Liberal/Labour MP Barnett Janner, Baron Janner 
5 May: Scottish footballer Bob Shankly
12 May: Scottish Labour MP James Dempsey/racing driver Edward Ramsden Hall/composer Humphrey Searle
13 May: Scottish footballer Billy Steel

Meanwhile…

24 April: The Eurovision Song Contest is held in Harrogate, Yorkshire. The winning song is Germany’s Ein bißchen Frieden by Nicole. A UK version – A Little Peace – would be the next UK number 1.

25 April: The Royal Marines recapture South Georgia during the Falklands War.

29 April: Daniel and Christopher Smith are Britain’s first twins conceived through in vitro fertilisation, born to Josephine and Stewart Smith at the Royal Free Hospital in London.

30 April: The Conservatives return to the top of the opinion polls for the first time since late-1979. The Falklands bounce had begun.

1 May: Operation Black during the Falklands War saw a Royal Air Force Vulcan bomber bomb Port Stanley Airport.

2 May: The most controversial moment of the Falklands War saw nuclear submarine HMS Conqueror sink the Argentine cruiser General Belgrano. Two years later, a furious Prime Minster Margaret Thatcher was questioned on TV by a teacher who pointed out the ship was sailing away from the exclusion zone.

4 May: The Sun newspaper runs the simple – moronic, sensationalist, some might say – headline ‘GOTCHA’ to sum up the Belgrano‘s sinking.
Also that day, the Type 42 destroyer HMS Sheffield is badly damaged by an Exocet missile. It sinks six days later.

498. Bucks Fizz – My Camera Never Lies (1982)

/ robbarker1979

The Intro

Bucks Fizz’s The Land of Make Believe got the group off to a flying start in January 1982. Unfortunately a few months later came their third and final number 1, the interesting but ultimately lacklustre My Camera Never Lies.

Before

Their fifth single was written and produced, as usual, by Andy Hill, but this was their first chart-topping single co-credited to Nichola Martin. She was Hill’s wife and had helped put the group together for their Eurovision entry and first number 1, Making Your Mind Up.

My Camera Never Lies, their second single from the album Are You Ready, was another attempt to give Bucks Fizz more mature material and prove they weren’t just another cheesy pop group. An ABBA for the 80s, perhaps. Lyrically, this song is similar to The Police’s fifth chart-topper, Every Breath You Take – still a year away at this point. The protagonist doesn’t trust his partner and has been following them around with his camera, which has proven to him that ‘there’s nothing worth lying for’ anymore.

Review

We’re off to a promising start with My Camera Never Lies. The intro brings to mind Trevor Horn’s flashy, shiny production, and you can be fooled into thinking this could even potentially outdo The Land of Make Believe. There’s some nice acoustic guitar that even sounds a little like The Smiths, who formed this year. But the big hook never comes. In fact, the most interesting aspect of the song is the backing vocals, where Mike Nolan, Bobby G, Cheryl Baker and Jay Ashton chant the song title repeatedly in a jerky, stop-start way.

There’s some good elements on display here – but they don’t meld together enough to create a memorable song. And as nice as the production sounds, the performances are sorely lacking any meaning. How are we meant to feel sorry for this guy? He’s stalking someone, and doesn’t sound like he gives a fuck anyway. You could forgive him somewhat if his heart sounded broken! I can give or take some of The Police’s material, but Every Breath You Take, which I already considered a classic, does this so much better.

The video doesn’t help either. It’s basically another excuse for Bucks Fizz to swan around in very contemporary, New Romantic-style outfits, interspersed with them recreating scenes from films including The Wizard of Oz and Gone With the Wind – because, cameras, yeah? They missed a trick by not making an ABBA-style video with a bit of relationship drama, G spying on Ashton, who’s run off with Nolan, for example. I chose Ashton over Kennedy for a reason that will soon become apparent…

After

My Camera Never Lies only spent a week at number 1, and Bucks Fizz never bagged the top spot again. Their next single, the mostly a cappella Now Those Days Are Gone, peaked at eight.

Bucks Fizz returned in late-1982 with If You Can’t Stand the Heat, the first fruits of next LP Hand Cut. It couldn’t get higher than 10, and follow-up Run for Your Life finished at 14.

It was perhaps a little early to be releasing a Greatest Hits in 1983, but they did, and although When We Were Young got to 10, London Town scraped in at 34. They disappeared for a while, failing overexposure.

They maybe didn’t go away for long enough. The album I Hear Talk, released in 1984, showcased a more rock sound, but only Talking in Your Sleep performed well, peaking at 15.

On 11 December, Bucks Fizz were returning from a gig in Newcastle when their tour bus collided with a lorry. All four members of the group and members of the crew were injured, but by far the worst was Nolan, who badly hurt his head and fell into a coma for three days. He nearly died, and still suffers from epilepsy, memory loss and poor vision.

Bucks Fizz returned to action the following year, but Aston quit during promotion of their comeback single You and Your Heart So Blue. She sold her story to the press, revealing she and Hill had been having an affair. The rest of the group distanced themselves from her and a replacement, Shelley Preston, was quickly announced.

In 1986 the new-look Bucks Fizz returned triumphantly with a decent song. New Beginning (Mamba Seyra) deserved to do well, and peaked at eight. However, it was their last single to reach the top 40. Preston departed in 1989 after their last studio LP, the ironically titled The Story So Far.

They continued as a trio for a while, but Baker left in 1993 after having started a successful career as a television presenter. Heidi Manton and Amanda Szwarc were picked to return the group to a quartet, but in 1996 Nolan decided to leave, and was replaced by egomaniac and former Dollar star David Van Day.

Things got messy. G and Van Day didn’t get on well at all, so the latter decided to work with Nolan instead and two new members. G got an injunction resulting in the new group reduced to billing themselves as Bucks Fizz starring Mike Nolan and featuring David Van Day. They released an album of re-recordings and were largely slated, even by fans of the group.

In 2001 Nolan couldn’t stand working with Van Day any longer and left. There followed a protracted legal battle over the rights to the name of the group, resulting in an episode of the BBC documentary series Trouble at the Top covering the mess. The whole sorry affair was settled out of court and Van Day briefly toured as the spectacularly named David Van Day’s Bucks Fizz Show, before returning to Dollar.

The Outro

Baker, Nolan and Aston buried the hatchet and became The Fizz in the 10s, working with Mike Stock of Stock Aitken Waterman.

The Info

Written by

Andy Hill & Nichola Martin

Producer

Andy Hill

Weeks at number 1

1 (17-23 April)

Trivia

Deaths

17 April: Peeress Bridget Monckton, 11th Lady Ruthven of Freeland

Meanwhile…

17 April: Canada repatriates its constitution, gaining full political independence from the UK.

21 April: Walsall FC’s bid to become the first Football League club to ground-share ends when officials condemn their plans to sell the Fellows Park stadium and become tenants at Wolverhampton Wanderers’ Molineux.  

23 April: The first British serviceman dies in the Falklands War.

497. Goombay Dance Band – Seven Tears (1982)

/ robbarker1979

The Intro

If you liked a large helping of cheese with your pop, you were well served in the spring of 1982. Toppling Tight Fit’s The Lion Sleeps Tonight was the second German number 1 of the year – Goombay Dance Band’s Seven Tears. For a brief time, they looked like a Boney M for the 80s.

Before

Goombay Dance Band were an idea from the former child actor and singer Oliver Bendt, who had appeared in stage musicals including Hair, as well as releasing records in his home country. In the 1970s, he lived on the Caribbean island Saint Lucia, where he came up with the Goombay Dance Band, named after a small bay on the island. Bendt dreamt of combining calypso and western pop, much like Boney M.

The Goombay Dance Band proved to be an instant success. Their debut single Sun of Jamaica, released in late-1979 went to number 1 in many European countries, even though it didn’t break the top 40 in the UK. It topped the German singles chart for nine weeks and became the title track of their debut album. Their next single, Aloha-Oe, Until We Meet Again, did however make it to 22 here.

Although second album Land of Gold fared nowhere near as well in 1980, two singles, Eldorado and Rain, performed well in Europe, and peaked at 30 and 38 in the UK respectively. Seven Tears was the first single from their third LP Holiday in Paradise.

Review

Hmm, yeah. I recall Seven Tears stinking up the repeats of Top of the Pops on BBC Four years ago. I’m surprised to see it was only number 1 for three weeks, as the video seemed to outstay its welcome, massively. Coming hot on the heels of The Lion Sleeps Tonight really doesn’t help it stand out. That at least has production that still sounds great, and for me personally, is really nostalgic. Seven Tears comes over as a Eurovision runner-up, and is overblown and cheap by comparison to Tight Fit’s chart-topper. I’m more than ready now for more early 80s classics, that are thankfully just around the corner.

I’d put money on part of the reason Seven Tears did so well being their appearance on Top of the Pops, where Bendt did a spot of fire breathing. It could also be because it sounds very similar to Auld Lang Syne.

The video to Seven Tears showcases Bendt’s amazing perm and tacky golden outfit, as he slowly sways for what feels like seven years, interspersed with ‘moving’ shots of waves lapping against the beach.

After

That was pretty much all she wrote for Goombay Dance Band. They never charted again in the UK and had only one more hit in Germany (Christmas at Sea – 22). Non-album singles came and went without impact in the mid-80s. They released an album of remakes in 2009 called 30th Anniversary Collection.

The Outro

Bendt dissolved the Goombay Dance Band and retired soon after his 70th birthday in 2016.

The Info

Written by

Wolff-Ekkehardt Stein, Wolfgang Jass & Ian Cai Mercer

Producer

Jochen Peterson

Weeks at number 1

3 (27 March-16 April)

Trivia

Births

5 April: Actress Hayley Atwell
7 April: Liberty X singer Kelli Young

Deaths

27 March: Writer Ted Lewis
31 March: Footballer Dave Clement
2 April: Anglican clergyman EJH Nash
12 April: Writer Norman Denny/Labour MP Tony Greenwood, Baron Greenwood of Rossendale
13 April: Peer John Drummond, 15th Baron Strange#
15 April: Actor Arthur Lowe (see ‘Meanwhile…‘)

Meanwhile…

2 April: Argentina invades the Falkland Islands, and the Falklands War officially begins.

4 April: The British Falkland Islands government surrenders, which puts the islands in Argentine control.

5 April: A Royal Navy task force sets sail to the Falklands from Portsmouth.

7 April: Britain declares a 200-mile “‘exclusion zone’ around the Falklands.

15 April: Beloved comic actor and Dad’s Army star Arthur Lowe dies suddenly of a stroke, aged 66.

496. Tight Fit – The Lion Sleeps Tonight (1982)

/ robbarker1979

The Intro

The Lion Sleeps Tonight by manufactured group Tight Fit is a very 1982-sounding number 1. But the song dates back to 1939 and South African singer-songwriter Solomon Linda, who died in poverty.

Before

Linda was a Zulu migrant worker who led the a cappella sextet The Evening Birds, in which he sang soprano. He also worked as a packer at a record pressing plant owned by Eric Gallo. Linda’s group were invited to make music there and at their second session, without prior rehearsal, they recorded Mbube, in which Linda recalls chasing a lion while herding cattle as a child. Performed in four-part harmony, The Evening Birds chant ‘wembube’, while Linda yodels and howls over the top.

Gallo was impressed and rightly saw they had a hit (the first ever made in South Africa) in their hands. But he chose to take advantage of Linda, who couldn’t read and had no understanding of royalties. Linda sold Mbube to Gallo for 10 shillings, and despite it selling 100,000 over the next nine years, the songwriter saw out the rest of his life in poverty, in a house covered in cow manure. One of his son’s died of malnutrition, and Linda collapsed on stage in 1959 of kidney failure. When he died three years later, his family couldn’t afford a tombstone.

In the early, 50s, Gallo had sent a collection of vinyl to Decca Records in the US. Fortunately, ethnomusicologist Alan Lomax worked there at the time and rescued them from being thrown out. He handed them to Pete Seeger, singer in the hit folk group The Weavers. Seeger was fascinated by Mbube, and attempted to transcribe it word for word – but he misheard the chorus as ‘Wimoweh’. Seeger copied Linda’s wail, but to make the track more palatable for early 50s record buyers, bandleader Gordon Jenkins added a brass backing.

Released in 1951 and renamed Wimoweh, the song was credited to Paul Campbell, a pseudonym which meant royalties were shared among The Weavers, their publishers and their manager. It was a big hit, peaking at six, but began slipping down the Billboard when three of the group were accused of being affiliated with the Communist Party during the McCarthy era. Linda didn’t get credited, but Seeger later claimed he objected to this and directed his publisher to send the royalties Linda’s way. His daughters claimed this wasn’t the case.

Fast forward 10 years and doo-wop group The Tokens (Neil Sedaka had previously been a member) decided to create a new version of Wimoweh, which continued to go down a storm at Weavers’ gigs. Desperately in search of a hit for their third single, The Tokens approached songwriters and producers George David Weiss, Hugo Peretti and Luigi Creatore to help them with an overhaul. They kept the chant, took Linda’s final notes from the original to become the main hook, wrote brand new English lyrics and had an interesting appearance from opera singer Anita Darian, who sounds almost like a theremin on her countermelodies.

Although The Tokens weren’t keen on The Lion Sleeps Tonight, which became the B-side to Tina, it became far more popular and became the first African song to reach number 1 in the US. It climbed to 11 in the UK. The Tokens went on to become a production team and were credited on He’s So Fine by The Chiffons. Weiss, Peretti and Creatore were credited on The Stylistics’ 1975 UK number 1 Can’t Give You Anything (But My Love). Linda once again didn’t get a credit.

20 years later, Ken Gold co-songwriter and producer on The Real Thing’s You to Me Are Everything, decided to capitalise on the craze for medleys. Dutch group Stars On 45 nearly made it to number 1 twice that year with medleys of 60s hits, and Gold fancied a go himself. He assembled a group of male and female session singers, christened them Tight Fit and they made the hit single Back to the 60s, which peaked at four. For their Top of the Pops appearance, a number of actors and singers were used to mime the record. Later that year they scraped in at 33 with Back to the 60s Part 2. It looked like Tight Fit were already over.

However, producer Tim Friese-Greene saw life in the name. He had recently produced Thomas Dolby’s debut album The Golden Age of Wireless and fancied updating The Lion Sleeps Tonight for an 80s audience. Perhaps figuring that Tight Fit was a readymade name that was associated with 60s covers, he took the name but used a different set of musicians. They included Roy Ward, the drummer and percussionist from rock band City Boy, on vocals. Finally, Linda received a songwriting credit, alongside the imaginary Campbell, plus Peretti, Creatore and Weiss.

Review

Yes, Tight Fit’s The Lion Sleeps Tonight is cheesy, but it’s still lots of fun. All the elements of The Tokens’ version are there but updated for a 1982 audience, featuring phased drums, effects on the ‘wimoweh’ chanting and keyboards replacing the operatic melodies of the 1961 version. Ward’s vocal is great – why was this guy relegated to drums with City Boy, and who discovered he could sing well?

This version has aged very well sonically, and hearing it now takes me back to playing it over and over as a young lad. I even confess to pretending I was the self-obsessed Tarzan in the video. However, once you learn about the cultural misappropriation through the years, you can’t help but be left with a bad taste in your mouth and a need to apologise on behalf of white people who can’t see a problem with cultural theft.

The video is cheap and tacky, but fits the mood of the song well, as Tarzan preens lazily among people in bargain-basement lion and gorilla outfits. The cast of the video featured dancer and model Steve Grant, plus singers Denise Gyngell and Julie Harris, who had been assembled by Friese-Greene to be the new Tight Fit for promotional purposes.

After

Tight Fit’s huge success resulted in Friese-Greene deciding to give Grant, Gyngell and Harris a shot at recording the next single. Fantasy Island, which had been an entry for The Millionaires in the Dutch Eurovision Song Contest heats, did very well, climbing to five in May (a very timely release, considering it coincided with the Falklands War – see ‘Meanwhile…‘). However, the appeal of Tight Fit ran out just as they found themselves recording an album and rehearsing to go on tour. The next single, Secret Heart, only got to 41, and Gyngell and Harris subsequently left, complaining over lack of royalties and poor wages. Two new female singers were brought on board, but it was over. A year later, in a bid to pacify Grant, a cover of Stephen Stills’ Love the One You’re With was credited to Steve Grant and Tight Fit. It made no difference to their chart prospects.

Grant, Gyngell and Harris continued to chase fame separately – Grant released singles in his own name, then joined a three-piece group called Splash! (terrible name). Gyngell teamed up with her brothers to become He She Him (awful name). Harris formed Julie and the Jems (shit name), followed by Chopper Harris (so bad it’s actually a pretty funny name).

Gyngell and Harris reformed as Tight Fit in 2008 to tour the UK’s nightclubs, with Grant occasionally joining them before officially rejoining in 2010. They released the album Together in 2016. You don’t need me to tell you it failed to chart, but, to paraphrase the excellent podcast Chart Music, they’ve been on Top of the Pops more times than I have.

As for Friese-Greene, well, he was enlisted by Talk Talk to remix their 1984 album It’s My Life, then became an unofficial member of the band, producing and co-writing their classic trio of albums The Colour of Spring (1986), Spirit of Eden (1988) and Laughing Stock (1991).

The Outro

The Lion Sleeps Tonight continued to be a popular tune, and royalties remained a source of contention. In 1989, a judge ruled that The Tokens’ version should be considered a separate composition to Wimoweh, but that 10 percent of performance royalties should go to Linda’s family. In 1994, the use of The Lion Sleeps Tonight in Disney’s The Lion King made the song even more famous.

In 2000, South African Rolling Stone journalist Rian Malan wrote an essay telling the story of Mbube and explained that despite The Lion Sleeps Tonight earning $15 million in royalties, Linda’s family were still living in poverty. Two years later, the documentary A Lion’s Tail helped keep the background to the song in the public eye.

Finally, there was justice, to a degree. In 2004, with the backing of the South African government and the Gallo Record Company agreeing to pay legal fees, Linda’s family sued Disney for $1.5 million for using the song in The Lion King. The case was settled in 2006, with Abilene Music, who then owned The Lion Sleeps Tonight, agreeing to a lump sum payment, future royalties and a co-composer credit at long last. Not that this was the end of it, as the settlement with Disney ended in 2017 and since then the corporation has used the song for their live action remake of The Lion King in 2019.

The Info

Written by

Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore, George Weiss, Solomon Linda & Paul Campbell

Producer

Tim Friese-Greene

Weeks at number 1

3 (6-26 March)

Trivia

Deaths

7 March: Conservative MP John Hare, 1st Viscount Blakenham
8 March: Conservative MP Rab Butler
11 March: Author Edmund Cooper
13 March: Bridge designer William Fairhurst
14 March: Calligrapher Alfred Fairbank
15 March: Poet Edgell Rickword
16 March: Scientist Sir Geoffrey Vickers
18 March: Silent film actress Barbara Tennant
21 March: Actor Harry H Corbett
22 March: Motorcyclist Bob Foster/Actor Harold Goldblatt

Meanwhile…

18 March: Nosy old fuddy duddy Mary Whitehouse’s legal case against the National Theatre’s The Romans in Britain ends after an intervention from the Attorney General.

19 March: Argentine scrap metal dealers illegally arrive at South Georgia, Falkland Islands – a British overseas colony – and raise the Argentine flag.

25 March: Social Democratic Party co-leader Roy Jenkins wins the Hillhead by-election in Glasgow. At this point, the SDP were leading many opinion polls.