David Cassidy

459. The Mash – Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) (1980)

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The Intro

There are many weird chart-toppers but this is up there with the weirdest. Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) is a song about suicide, with lyrics written by a teenager and sung by the voices behind some of the most memorable US TV shows and advert jingles, 10 years after the film it came from was first released.

Before

M*A*S*H (1970) is a black comedy about the Korean War of 1950-53, directed by Robert Altman and based on the 1968 novel M*A*S*H: A Novel About Three Army Doctors, by Richard Hooker. The film starred Donald Sutherland, EIliot Gould and Tom Skerrit as members of a unit stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. The movie struck a chord with a country in the midst of losing the Vietnam War and was one of the biggest films of the early 70s, winning an Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay.

Composer and arranger Johnny Mandel provided incidental music for M*A*S*H. In addition to film scores, Mandel was a jazz and pop musician, working with greats including Count Basie and Frank Sinatra.

The film M*A*S*H is bleaker than the subsequent series (which Altman hated). And this song’s title is more literal than you may realise. In one scene, the unit’s dentist, Walter ‘Painless Pole’ Waldowski (played by John Schuck) decides to kill himself. He’s such a womaniser, he decides he must be compensating for being gay. Yes, you read that right. Surmising that living as a gay man is too hard, he thinks suicide is the better option. The rest of the unit don’t believe him, and decide to organise a ‘Last Supper’-style event, where they give him a sleeping pill masquerading as poison.

Mandel was tasked with writing a song for Private Seidman (Ken Prymus) to sing during the Last Supper scene, with two stipulations. The first – it had to be called ‘Suicide Is Painless’, in reference to the dentist’s nickname and his fake cause of death, and the second – it had to be ‘the stupidest song ever written’.

Before Mandel came up with the tune, Altman tried to write some lyrics, but told the composer ‘I’m sorry but there’s just too much stuff in this 45-year-old brain. I can’t write anything nearly as stupid as what we need.’ But he reassured Mandel when he said ‘All is not lost. I’ve got a 15-year-old kid who’s a total idiot.’ When he presented him with the lyrics by his son Michael, Altman said they only took him five minutes to write. If this is true, it’s impressive, as although some of the words show signs of adolescent influence, Suicide Is Painless is pretty deep.

Altman was very impressed with the song’s appearance in the Last Supper scene. And rightly so, as Prymus’s performance is lovely. So he decided to upgrade it and it officially became Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless). And it’s this version, playing out over the opening credits, that became the released single.

Altman chose to adopt a choral approach and enlisted members of The Ron Hicklin Singers. This Los Angeles-based group were the vocal equivalent of The Wrecking Crew, and often worked together to record thousands of TV and film themes, plus countless TV and radio jingles, from the 60s to the 80s. Some of the more memorable included the themes to Happy Days, Wonder Woman and Batman. But they’re perhaps best known in the US for their time as backing singers for The Partridge Family, the TV show/musical spin-off that made David Cassidy a teen idol. Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) features John and Tom Bahler, Ron Hicklin and Ian Freebairn-Smith.

Review

As unusual as this is, it’s a fascinating number 1 – and genuinely great too. The producer – Thomas Z Shephard – was an expert in musical theatre, classical and opera albums, and it really shows. The minimalistic production is spellbinding, capturing the genius of Mandel’s tune through a simple folk sound of acoustic guitar and bells. Using the voices of those better known for performing on ads and family comedies is a really clever touch – it gives the impression The Mash (as they were credited) are actually selling the concept of suicide to the listener. Very, very dark.

And although the lyrics were written by a teenager, there’s remarkable bleakness, insight and intelligence at times. The opening line referring to ‘early morning fog’ could be taken as symbolic of depression, or could be a literal reference to the conditions of the Korean War. The chorus, sometimes taken as nonsensical, is actually pretty deep. When someone is so in the grip of depression and suicidal thoughts, it can obviously feel ‘painless’ as a way out of problems. And the misery can be so all-encompassing, it really can feel like it doesn’t matter either way to the sufferer, that they really can ‘take or leave it’. But it can also refer to soldiers fighting a war too. They may well die anyway, so why not have that level of control to feel better, as a mental way out of the horrors of conflict? To say that suicide ‘brings on many changes’ is an understatement at best, for those left behind, but to someone wallowing in their own personal hell, that might be as deeply as they’re willing to think about family and friends. Haunting, to say the least, particularly this verse:

‘The sword of time will pierce our skins,
It doesn’t hurt when it beings,
But as it works its way back in,
The pain grows stronger, watch it grin’

Bloody hell.

The final verse however, augmented by strings, reads much more like the work of a teenager:

‘A brave man once requested me,
To answer questions that are key,
“Is it to be or not to be?”,
And I replied, “Oh why ask me?”.

Not great.

After

Originally released as Song from M*A*S*H in 1970, this single failed to trouble the UK top 10. The long-running TV series spin-off for CBS began in 1972. Starring Alan Alda and Wayne Rogers, the half-hour episodes were often more like a sitcom than a comedy drama. CBS tried to avoid controversy, keeping away from any overt protest at the still-ongoing Vietnam War. And they decided to ditch the disturbing lyrics to the film’s theme, using an instrumental version instead. Altman described the series as ‘the antithesis of what we were trying to do’.

The TV series was first broadcast in the UK in 1973 on BBC Two, and the film premiered on Christmas Eve, 1977 – two years after the end of the Vietnam War. The movie was repeated in 1980 on 10 Feb, and I can only think that the combination of this being shown, while the series was still running, caused the song to capture the public’s imagination. There seems to have been something in the air that spring/summer, as this was the second in a hat trick of sad songs at number 1, following What’s Another Year and preceding Crying.

M*A*S*H ended in 1983. The finale, aired in the US on 28 February, remains the most-watched episode of scripted TV ever – watched by an around 125 million Americans. The UK didn’t get to say goodbye until 27 December 1984.

Altman once claimed that while he made $70,000 for directing M*A*S*H the film, his son has made more than $1 million in royalties for the theme’s lyrics. Not bad work for ‘a total idiot’.

The Outro

In 1992 the Welsh alt-rockers Manic Street Preachers released a decent cover of Theme from M*A*S*H (Suicide Is Painless) as a double-A-side for charity with Fatima Mansions’ cover of (Everything I Do) I Do it For You. Raising money for The Spastics Society, it peaked at seven in the charts. This singles has since proved to be sadly ironic, in light of their guitarist and songwriter Richey Edwards’ disappearance in 1995.

Remember people, if you’re feeling suicidal, help is available. Contact The Samaritans on 116 123.

The Info

Written by

Johnny Mandel & Mike Altman

Producer

Thomas Z Shephard

Weeks at number 1

3 (31 May-20 June)

Trivia

Births

1 June: Footballer Martin Devaney/Actor Oliver James
2 June: Rugby player Richard Skuse
4 June: Actor Philip Olivier
10 June: Chess master Jovanka Houska/Singer-songwriter James Walsh
11 June: Footballer Ernie Cooksey
12 June: Doctor Adam Kay

Deaths

1 June: Boxer George Marsden/Boxer Len Wickwar
5 June: Athlete William Seagrove
7 June: Writer Elizabeth Craig
9 June: Physician Sir Derrick Dunlop
10 June: Conservative MP Denis Hanley
12 June: Businessman Sir Billy Butlin
18 June: Oil executive Sir Maurice Bridgeman/Film director Terence Fisher/Geologist Neville George
19 June: Educator Gladys Wright
20 June: Golfer John Beck/Poet Amy Clarke

Meanwhile…

6 June: Two Malaysian men were jailed for 14 years after they were found guilty of running a drug smuggling ring in London.

12 June: Pregnant 16-year-old Gail Kinchen and her unborn baby were accidentally shot dead by a police marksman in a tragic accident. The officer had entered the Birmingham flat to encounter Kinchen’s boyfriend, David Pagett, who was holding her at gunpoint.

17 June: Secretary of State for Defence Francis Pym told the House of Commons that US nuclear cruise missiles were to be located at RAF Greenham Common in Berkshire and the disused RAF Molesworth in Cambridgeshire.

19 June: Three unknown gunmen were shot dead by Iraqi security forces when they attacked the British embassy in Iraq.

339. David Cassidy – Daydreamer/The Puppy Song (1973)

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The Intro

David Cassidy continued his existential battle to be loved for his music rather than his looks throughout 1972 and 1973. After his first number 1 How Can I Be Sure, the star of The Partridge Family had further hits with the title track to Rock Me Baby and I Am a Clown, which was lifted from his debut LP Cherish.

There were also more albums by The Partridge Family, Cassidy’s fictional TV brethren, on which he had made his name and would have rather been rid of by this point. In October 1973 their final album, Bulletin Board was released, alongside Cassidy’s third solo effort, Dreams are Nuthin’ More than Wishes. To get the point across that he was in charge of his own music, he wrote notes for his reasons for choosing each song. This second number 1 release was a double A-side of tracks from the album.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKukFhUQPLQ

Reviews

Daydreamer was written by South African professional songwriter Terry Dempsey, who had written for many big names including Cliff Richard and The New Seekers. In 2910, Dempsey was killed in a bizarre accident when he was struck by the blades of a gyrocscope making an emergency landing during a ceremony in which the family were scattering ashes.

Cassidy stars as a heartbroken loner, walking round in the rain, chasing rainbows in which he may find someone new. Nice, clever wordplay there. It’s reminiscent of 1956 Christmas number 1 Just Walkin’ in the Rain by Johnnie Ray, not just due to the obvious mention of rain, but in the sense there’s a melancholy that’s quite comforting at play, that he’s actually kind of happy being on his own and wallowing in misery.

Unfortunately, as with How Can I Be Sure, I can’t enjoy Cassidy’s voice. For someone so determined to be admired for his ability, his singing is so affected, it doesn’t do a lot for me. Once again though, I’d take this over any of Donny Osmond’s number 1s.

The Puppy Song was penned by Harry Nilsson of Without You fame, and had featured on his album Harry, released in 1969. He had written it on request from Paul McCartney for Mary Hopkin’s debut album Post Card, which also included her number 1 from 1968, Those Were the Days.

More light-hearted than the flip side, the two songs complement each other well, with Cassidy’s daydreams moving on to thoughts of owning a dog, to replace the hole left by his love. The second verse comes from the viewpoint of a puppy daydreaming about having a friend to hang around with it. It’s a very ‘Nilsson’ kind of song, with a music-hall feel like a lot of his late-60s work, and an interesting departure for a teen idol, but again, I couldn’t warm to it too much. However, I do like the opening lines, which were paraphrased and became the title of Cassidy’s album.

After

Cassidy remained a familiar presence in the UK charts over the next few years, with hits like If I Didn’t Care and a cover of The Beatles’ Please Please Me in 1974. However, that same year, he was performing at London’s White City Stadium when nearly 800 people were injured in a crush at the front of the stage. 30 fans were taken to hospital, and 14-year-old Bernadette Whelan died four days after her injuries. Cassidy was devastated.

In 1975, Cassidy was free of The Partridge Family, and was the first person to have a hit with I Write the Songs, later to be Barry Manilow’s signature tune. But the follow-up, Darlin’ was his final top 20 entry for 10 years. In 1978 he was nominated for an Emmy Award for a role in Police Story, and he starred in David Cassidy: Man Undercover in 1979 but it was cancelled after one season.

The early-80s saw Cassidy performing in musical theatre, including Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and Blood Brothers. He returned to the charts in 1985 with The Last Kiss. It featured backing vocals from George Michael. Another teen idol with ambitions to be recognised for his ability over his looks, Michael cited Cassidy as an influence, and the duo no doubt had much in common. It was his last UK single of note though, despite occasional chart action in the US.

Cassidy struggled over the years with his public image, and claimed the death of Whelan would haunt him all his life. He was arrested several times in later years for drink-driving incidents. Former Page 3 model Samantha Fox claimed on a 2017 Channel 4 documentary that he sexually assaulted her in 1985.

The Outro

In 2008 he went public with his alcohol problem. Then in February 2017 he struggled to remember lyrics while performing, and fell off the stage. Despite assumptions he had been drinking, Cassidy announced he had Alzheimer’s and retired soon after. That November Cassidy was hospitalised with liver and kidney failure. He was induced into a coma, and although he came out of it, doctors failed to find him a liver transplant in time, and he died of liver failure on 21 November, aged 67. It was revealed after he died that he hadn’t had Alzheimer’s.

The Info

Written by

Daydreamer: Terry Dempsey/The Puppy Song: Harry Nilsson

Producer

Rick Jarrard

Weeks at number 1

3 (27 October-16 November)

Trivia

Deaths

10 November: BBC Controller Gerald Cock

Meanwhile…

31 Octobe: The sixth series of much-loved BBC One sitcom Dad’s Army opened with the episode ‘The Deadly Attachment’. It’s the one featuring the line ‘Don’t tell them, Pike!’

8 November: The second Cod War between Britain and Iceland came to an end.

12 November: Miners began an overtime ban, while ambulance drivers started selective strikes.
Also this day, long-running BBC One sitcom Last of the Summer Wine began its first series run, following a premiere in the Comedy Playhouse on 4 January. Roy Clarke’s whimsical comedy set in rural Yorkshire would run for 31 series spanning 37 years.

14 November: Eight members of the Provisional IRA were convicted of the March bombings in London.
Also, The Princess Royal married Captain Mark Phillips at Westminster Abbey.

320. David Cassidy (Strings and Horns Arranged by Mike Melvoin) – How Can I Be Sure (1972)

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The Intro

The Osmonds were the biggest teen-pop family in 1972, but The Partridge Family weren’t far behind. Unlike The Osmonds, they weren’t really related. The US sitcom, which began in 1970, turned David Cassidy, who played eldest son Keith, into a superstar. But Cassidy wasn’t happy to be a pop idol, and this first UK number 1 was his way of showing the world he wanted to be taken seriously.

Before

David Bruce Cassidy, born in New York on 12 April 1950, was the son of famous singer and actor Jack Cassidy and actress Evelyn Ward, whose ancestors were among the founders of Newark, New Jersey. As his parents were on the road so much, Cassidy was raised in his early years by his maternal grandparents in West Orange, New Jersey. Jack and Evelyn divorced when he was four, and he didn’t find out until two years later, when his neighbours’ children told him.

Fast forward to 1968, and Cassidy had gained his high-school diploma and was living with his father, second wife and award-winning actress Shirley Jones and his half-brothers in Irvington, New York, working part time at a textile firm while he sought fame as an actor or singer. In 1969 he made his Broadway debut in The Fig Leaves Are Falling but it closed after four shows. However a casting director saw something in him and Cassidy passed a screen test, moving to Los Angeles. He signed with Universal Studios and starred in episodes of Bonanza and Ironside, before his big break landed.

The Partridge Family was loosely based on a real-life musical family, the Cowsills, who were popular in the late-60s. In a blurring of real-life and fiction, Cassidy’s stepmother Jones was already cast as the widowed mother Shirley Partridge when he got the job as her eldest son Keith. Studio bosses were impressed with Cassidy’s voice, and decided he would sing for real on the spin-off music recordings released under The Partridge Family name. Much like The Monkees, session musicians (often The Wrecking Crew) backed Cassidy and occasionally Jones. The rest of the cast were lip-synching.

The series became huge, and although it was mainly a US concern, several of their singles performed well in the UK. First single I Think I Love You reached the top 20. Meanwhile Cassidy became such a big star he began releasing material under his own name in 1971, which was what he had really wanted all along.

In early 1972 his debut album Cherish was released, and the title track reached number two on these shores. The fresh-faced Cassidy was four years older than his 16-year-old TV character, and much less squeaky-clean. The attention from young girls drove him mad – so much so, he decided to pose naked for the cover of Rolling Stone, for an article in which admitted to enjoying drink and drugs. Despite the controversy, he failed to capture a more mature audience, and the girls still loved him. Perhaps a ‘grown-up’ song could help?

How Can I Be Sure was originally a self-penned hit in the US and Canada (a number 1 there) for American rock band The Young Rascals in 1967. Three years later Dusty Springfield tried to make it a UK hit, but to no avail. Cassidy loved the song, and recorded it for next album Rock Me Baby, and it became its first single.

Review

I often admire and sympathise with any pop star who tries to break out of the straitjacket being one often creates, and Cassidy is no exception. The introspective, uncertain lyrics of this song are certainly more palatable to my ears than Donny Osmond’s insipid Puppy Love that’s for sure.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t quite achieve what it sets out to do. Cassidy overdoes his vocal and tries too hard, and his voice doesn’t appeal to me. Fair play for aiming for the adult market, but I don’t think much to the song either – it’s too old-fashioned for 1972 and when it’s surrounded by bands like Slade and Alice Cooper, he still comes across too ‘light entertainment’.

The Outro

So the girls still lapped it up, but because of that, they did give Cassidy his first UK number 1, so mixed blessings, all in all.

The Info

Written by

Felix Cavaliere & Eddie Brigati

Producer

Wes Farrell

Weeks at number 1

2 (30 September-13 October)

Deaths

1 October: Paleontologist Louis Leakey
2 October: Footballer Syd Puddefoot
15 October: Broadcaster Douglas Smith

Meanwhile…

10 October: John Betjeman was appointed as Poet Laureate.

13 October: Bank rates were abolished and replaced with the Minimum Lending Rate.