Kung Fu Fighting

475. Joe Dolce Music Theatre – Shaddap You Face (1981)

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The Intro

The UK singles chart of early 1981 was in a strange state of flux. John Lennon’s murder had understandably turned much of the top 10 into a shrine, with three posthumous chart-toppers. At the same time, Lennon’s fans suffered the indignation of seeing his records be overtaken in the hit parade not once (There’s No One Quite Like Grandma), but twice, by novelty songs. And the type of novelty songs that are retrograde, screaming ’70s or earlier’, rather than displaying any sign of the new, youthful pop of the 80s that was (thankfully) right around the corner. This time around, it was one-hit wonder Joe Dolce Music Theatre’s Shaddap You Face. Yep. That one.

Before

Joseph Dolce was born 13 October 1947 in Painesville, Ohio. He was the eldest of three children to Italian-American parents. In his senior year at Thomas W Harvey High School, Dolce got the acting bug, playing the lead role of Mascarille in Molière’s Les Précieuses Ridicules, and he also created a song based on material in the script. One of his co-stars, the Canadian Carol Dunlop, introduced Dolce to folk music and poetry.

From 1965 to 1967, Dolce majored in architecture at Ohio University. While there he formed several bands, including country rock act Headstone Circus, who released the album Please Tell a Friend in 1968. One member, Jonathan Edwards, had a US hit with Sunshine in 1971.

By 1974, Dolce was performing a mix of poetry and rock along the US east coast. Four years later he relocated to Melbourne, Victoria in Australia. His first single, in 1979, was Boat People, a protest song about the poor treatment of the growing community of Vietnamese refugees in the city.

That same year saw the formation of Joe Dolce Music Theatre. This revue toured cabarets and pubs with various line-ups, including Dolce playing a character he called Guiseppe. Among the songs he performed was Shaddap You Face, based on his memories of childhood (‘Just about the eighth grade’), where parents and grandparents would often speak in broken English. Audiences loved the story of Guiseppe and his dreams of stardom, answering his bossy mum back with the song’s title. So much so in fact, that drunken crowds began cheering ‘Heh” inbetween each chorus line.

Shaddap You Face was recorded and released in late 1980 by Australian musician Mike Brady’s label Full Moon Records, who correctly predicted a monster hit.

Review

My opinion on Shaddap You Face is divided. Clearly, we’re not talking about high art here. Dolce’s one-hit wonder is catchy to the point of extreme irritation. The over-the-top Italian-American accent is annoying and highly cliched, annoyingly shifting between spoken word and singing, and the tune is simplistic in the extreme, never shifting a gear. In a pop climate that was about to erupt with Adam and the Ants and the New Romantics, Shaddap You Face belongs in the 70s along with other novelty number 1s like Kung Fu Fighting (which is highly superior). It’s also a good example of the UK’s obsession with distilling an entire country and its culture into a silly song. So no wonder it was huge here.

However, Dolce is rather charming, so it’s also simultaneously hard to dislike, too. The accordion adds a nice touch of authenticity, and the story the song tells is rather sweet. Grown-ups doubt loved the breezy, infectious tune, while children relished the chance of shouting ‘Ah, shaddap you face’ to their parents. As novelty number 1s go, there’s much worse out there – and how many feature an accordion solo?

The official video is filmed in a smoky club full of nonplussed people, until the end, when Dolce successfully urges the audience to shout ‘Heh’, until a weird guy in sunglasses brings proceedings to a sudden halt by throwing a pizza at the singer.

After

Shaddap You Face was massive, becoming number 1 in the UK and 11 other countries – though, perhaps surprisingly, not in the US. Whether deliberate or not, beloved DJ Terry Wogan played a part in the UK success by spinning the record on his show, proclaiming it to be the worst thing he’d ever heard. Bit rich, when you consider The Floral Dance. It kept Ultravox’s Vienna from number 1 in the UK, and became Australia’s best-selling single ever, ironically usurping Up There Cazaly by Brady.

Dolce turned his back on comedy songs, forming several performance groups with Lin Van Hek, including Skin the Wig and Difficult Women. In 1984 the duo wrote Intimacy, which became the final track on the original soundtrack to The Terminator. Dolce also became an actor, starring in the Australian comedy Blowing Hot and Cold (1988). Since 2009 he has been a successful, award-winning poet.

The Outro

I’m very happy to report that writing this blog helped me become reacquainted with a bastardised version of Shaddap You Face, used in a 1990 advert for McCain Pizza Slices.

The Info

Written by

Joe Dolce

Producers

Joe Dolce & Ian McKenzie

Weeks at number 1

3 (21 February-13 March)

Trivia

Deaths

22 February: Olympic athlete Guy Butler
25 February: Labour politician Mary Sykes
26 February: Conservationist Robert Aickman/Actor Gerald Cross/Actor Robert Tonge
28 February: Carry On screenwriter Talbot Rothwell
1 March: Welsh Congregationalist Minister Martin Lloyd-Jones
4 March: Chess player Nancy Elder/TV producer Ian Engelmann/Actor Torin Thatcher
5 March: Artist Winifred Nicholson/Actress Totti Truman Taylor
6 March: Cricketer George Geary/Actor Garry Marsh/Motorcycle racer Roland Stobbart
8 March: Conservative MP Nigel Birch, Baron Rhyl/Biologist Joseph Henry Woodger
10 March: Composer Bill Hopkins
11 March: Intelligence chief Sir Maurice Oldfield
12 March: Newspaper proprietor William Denholm Barnetson
13 March: Writer Wrey Gardiner/Industrialist Sir Patrick Hennessy/Author Robin Maugham, 2nd Viscount Maugham

Meanwhile…

21 February: 30,000 people in Glasgow march in an unemployment protest.

24 February: The engagement of Charles, Prince of Wales and Lady Diana Spencer is announced. 

26 February: The England cricket team withdraws from the Second Test when the Guyanese government serves a deportation order on Robin Jackman.

27 February: Two-time former Labour Prime Minister Sir Harold Wilson announces he is to retire from Parliament at the next general election.
Also on this day, The Archbishop of Canterbury to view homosexuality as a handicap, not a sin. Jesus.

3 March: The first Homebase DIY and garden centre superstore opens in Croydon, Surrey.

5 March: The ZX81 (my first ever computer) is launched by Sinclair Research.

9 March: Lorry driver John Lambe is sentenced to life imprisonment for the rape of 12 women.
Also on the day, thousands of civil servants hold a one-day strike over pay.

386. Tina Charles – I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance) (1976)

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The Intro

Tina Charles holds the unusual honour of being a backing singer on a number 1 before reaching the top spot in her own right. A year after she featured on Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel’s Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me), I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance) became the first homegrown disco tune to conquer the UK charts.

Before

Charles was born Tina Hoskins in Whitechapel, London on 10 March 1954. As well as being a backing singer she also worked as a session musician. She was only 15 when she recorded her debut single, Nothing in the World, and it featured Elton John, then unknown, on piano. Charles released one or two singles a year from then until 1974, but didn’t make a mark. In the meantime she sang on the Top of the Pops album series, in which anonymous session singers and musicians performed covers of hits. In 1971 she guested on The Two Ronnies, performing The Rolling Stones’s Ruby Tuesday, among other famous hits.

1975 was where Charles’s career took off. In addition to providing the famous ‘Oooh la la la’ backing vocals on Make Me Smile with her friend Linda Lewis, she sang on 5000 Volts’s disco hit I’m on Fire. Due to contractual issues her name was not given publicly and singer/actress Luan Peters stood in for Charles on Top of the Pops. Then she met Biddu, the Indian/British producer responsible for making Kung Fu Fighting. They recorded the album I Love to Love, but it wasn’t the first single to be released. You Set My Heart on Fire preceded it but despite going top 10 in Belgium, the Netherlands and Sweden, she still couldn’t crack the UK top 40. She and Biddu must have known they were on to something with I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance) however, to name the LP after it.

Review

I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance) starts very promisingly, bouncing along to a nifty disco groove played by Manchester musicians Richie Close (keyboard), Clive Allen (guitar), Des Browne (bass) and Tom Daley (percussion). The conceit appears to be, Charles wants to make love, but her partner is too busy dancing. This rather suggests there is a problem in the relationship and Charles should start asking him a few awkward questions really, but she doesn’t sound too upset about her situation and ends the night danced out but still hoping to ‘have my way’.

Unfortunately, the song doesn’t really go anywhere and is too lightweight to get much out of. Charles certainly has a powerful voice, but what at first sounds appealing gets a bit annoying. This song is probably as frustrating as wanting a good time with a partner who goes off to dance as soon as he hears music. If it came on at a club on a drunken night out (remember those?) you could probably enjoy yourself but that’s about it.

After

I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance) was a massive hit all over Europe. Charles’s follow-up LP, Dance Little Lady, was also produced by Biddu and spawned two top 10 hits in 1976 – Dance Little Lady Dance (reached six) and Dr Love (four). At the time her then-boyfriend, future genius producer Trevor Horn, featured in her backing band for live shows.

Only a year later, her hit rate was decreasing, and in 1978 I’ll Go Where Your Music Takes Me was the last time she charted (at 27). Charles tried to move with the times in 1980 with the harder sound of her album Just One Smile but interest was low. She concentrated on family life for the next few years. In 1987 there was a brief resurgence when I Love to Love and Dance Little Lady were remixed by Sanny-X. Both songs did well in Europe.

The Outro

Since then she has resurfaced from time to time, touring in Europe since 2000, performing on stage as a guest with The Producers, Horn’s supergroup of, yes, you guessed it, producers.

The Info

Written by

Jack Robinson & James Bolden

Producer

Biddu

Weeks at number 1

3 (6-22 March)

Trivia

Deaths

19 March: Free guitarist Paul Kossoff

Meanwhile…

16 March: Labour leader Harold Wilson shocked the nation by announcing his resignation as Prime Minister, to take effect on 5 April. Since returning to Downing Street in 1974, he had admitted in private that he had lost his enthusiasm for the role. Publicly, he claimed he had always intended to retire at 60, and said he was physically and mentally exhausted. He may have also been aware of the first stages of early-onset Alzheimer’s disease.

19 March: Princess Margaret and Lord Snowdon announce they are to separate after 16 years of marriage.

356. Carl Douglas – Kung Fu Fighting (1974)

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The Intro

‘Woah-ho-ho-ho!’ Knocked off in 10 minutes as a B-side, this huge-selling number 1 is one of the most famous novelty hits of all time. It took advantage of the 70s kung fu craze and briefly made Carl Douglas a star.

Yes, the mid-70s wasn’t just about streaking. The films of martial artist Bruce Lee had become popular in the US and subsequently the UK, but he died after the making of his 1973 blockbuster Enter the Dragon, which only added to his legend. He had allegedly also been in the running to star in US action drama Kung Fu, before David Carradine took the role in 1972. The mid-70s was the high watermark of the nation’s fascination with kung fu. There were adverts for Hai Karate aftershave, cartoon canine Hong Kong Phooey and an episode of The Goodies, ‘Kung Fu Kapers’ that concentrated on the ancient art of ‘Ecky Thump’. Famously, this was the episode in which a man literally died laughing at home while watching. What a way to go.

Before

But anyway, Carl Douglas. Carlton George Douglas was born 10 May 1942 in Kingston, Jamaica but also spent his childhood in California before relocating to London as a teenager to study sound engineering, and enjoyed playing football. He also underwent vocal training and developed a strong tenor voice that he would use to sing in church. Douglas loved soul and jazz music, and his heroes were Sam Cooke and Otis Redding.

In 1964 Douglas formed Carl Douglas & the Big Stampede, and they released three singles in the UK but failed to get anywhere. His debut solo single was Serving a Sentence of Life in 1968, but again, no joy. With another group, Carl Douglas & the Explosion, he released the single Eeny Meeny in Spain. No reaction. Douglas returned to the UK and started working with Indian producer Biddu for the first time in 1971.

Biddu Appaiah, better known as just Biddu, would become one of the pioneers of disco. Born in Bangalore, India in 1944, he moved to England in the 60s and became a producer, working on Japanese band The Tigers’ Smile for Me in 1969, before moving on to a number of tracks that became popular on the Northern Soul scene.

Douglas recorded the single Marble and Iron with Biddu, who used the singer again in 1972 on the soundtrack to the spy thriller Embassy, starring Richard Roundtree (Shaft). Biddu hired Douglas again in 1974 to record I Want to Give You My Everything. He asked the singer if he had any ideas on what they could use as a B-side, and Douglas had several, one of which was a bunch of lyrics about watching a kung fu film. Not taking it too seriously, Biddu came up with a tune, and when it came to recording, allegedly I Want to Give You My Everything took two hours, wheras Kung Fu Fighting took 10 minutes as they were running out of studio time.

When the single was taken to Pye Records, an executive couldn’t understand why Kung Fu Fighting wasn’t the A-side, and insisted they swap the two around, for which Douglas and Biddu must be eternally grateful.

Review

You may have heard it a million times, and not consider it something you’d ever need to listen to again by choice, but I’d defy anyone to not have a soft spot for Kung Fu Fighting. Sure, it’s cheesy, but it’s also bloody funky, and I’m a sucker for some wah-wah guitar and a nice bassline. Funk is one of my favourite genres and there’s sadly very few that reached number 1. And for all this is considered a disco classic, and Biddu went on to be one of the genre’s foremost producers, this to me is more funk than disco. Although credit is due to Biddu for the oriental strings. Over-the-top, sure, as are the ‘ha!’ noises at the end of each line, but they only add to the fun. I’d imagine this song must have been incredible for your average child into kung fu at the time, and is still able to make anyone feel young again, no matter their age.

After

Kung Fu Fighting looked like another failure upon its release, but picked up momentum from airplay in clubs. After reaching number 1 here, it topped charts around the world, including Billboard‘s, making Douglas the first Jamaican to top the US chart. An album was quickly cobbled together, the wonderfully named Kung Fu Fighting and Other Great Love Songs. Douglas is remembered as a one-hit wonder, but he had two more UK hits – the inferior follow-up cash-in Dance the Kung Fu later that year (number 35) and Run Back in 1977 (number 25).

The Outro

Two more albums were released, Love, Peace and Happiness in 1979 and Keep Pleasing Me in 1983, and then Douglas disappeared into obscurity, moving to Hamburg, Germany, occasionally surfacing to remember his time as the man behind Kung Fu Fighting. And then in 1998 his song was back in the top 10 again thanks to the dance act Bus Stop, reaching number eight. It was pretty pointless, just the original with some rapping added into the mix, but it captured the 90s obsession with the 70s and Douglas was wheeled out once more for TV shows. He seems a genial character, and who wouldn’t be, really, when you can have an income for life thanks to one song made in a hurry?

The Info

Written by

Carl Douglas

Producer

Biddu

Weeks at number 1

3 (21 September-11 October)

Meanwhile…

23 September: The first Teletext information service Ceefax began on the BBC. This precursor to the internet was fascinating to people of a certain age, ie, me.

30 September: With the year’s second general election 10 days away, opinion polls showed Labour were in the lead, with Harold Wilson well-placed to gain the overall majority that no party achieved in the election held in February.

5 October: The Provisional IRA killed five people in the Guildford pub bombings.

10 October: The second general election of 1974 resulted in Labour gaining a majority, but only by three seats. Speculation began immediately that Edward Heath’s leadership of the Conservatives would soon be over. The Scottish National Party secured its highest Westminster party representation to date with 11 seats, and former Conservative MP Enoch Powell was returned to parliament standing for the Ulster Unionist Party in Northern Ireland.