512. Renée and Renato – Save Your Love (1982)

The Intro

In a classic example of the British public losing its collective mind over Christmas, the 1982 festive number 1 wasn’t The Jam’s Beat Surrender. It was the bizarre but strangely charming novelty duet Save Your Love, credited to Renée and Renato. And even more strange is the fact this one-hit wonder was the first truly indie chart-topper.

Before

In 1975, the Italian-born, West Midlands-based waiter Renato Pagliari auditioned for ITV’s hit talent show New Faces. He didn’t succeed, but he caught the eye of songwriter and producer Johnny Edward, who loved rock’n’roll and hated kitsch pop. As a reaction to Brotherhood of Man’s 1976 Eurovision winner Save Your Kisses For Me, Edward wrote the tongue-in-cheek, overblown ballad Save Your Love with his wife Sue.

Over the next few years, Edward was busy creating, controlling and even voicing, through a vocoder, the robot Metal Mickey. Metal Mickey, directed by Micky Dolenz of The Monkees, was a hit children’s show from 1980 to 1983. I loved it at the time but from the clips I’ve seen since, I reckon it probably hasn’t aged well.

Edward decided to return to Save Your Love, and remembered Renato. He teamed him up with the singer Hilary Lester and got them in the recording studio. To help sell the record, he credited the song to Renée and Renato, portraying the duo as lovers, or husband-and-wife, who were singing their hearts out to each other to a frankly ridiculous degree.

BBC Radio 2 DJ Terry Wogan was of course no stranger to kitsch. The Eurovision Song Contest commentator played Save Your Love on his hugely popular breakfast show, and the single gained traction.

Review

Anyone with any knowledge of Christmas number 1s, or longtime readers of this blog, will know the long and not always illustrious history of novelty chart-toppers over the festive season. The combination of parents and grandparents buying songs for young children and the strange sense of humour of Brits in general, has resulted in some, you could politely say, unique Christmas bestsellers. Before 1982, some had their merits (I’m thinking Lily the Pink or Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)), while some were totally awful (see Long Haired Lover from Liverpool, or There’s No One Quite Like Grandma).

Save Your Love, believe it or not, falls in the former category. It shouldn’t, because it’s dross. But it’s also very funny. The idea of the British public falling for an Italian waiter and his fake lover performing such a lightweight saccharine love song sounds like something that could easily happen in the 50s or 60s, yet this was also feasible in 1982, in an era in which a group like Kraftwerk would also top the charts.

The lyrics are totally unremarkable, but the performance is. Renato certainly belts his parts out with real gusto, and that makes it funny. The knowledge that the Edwards were taking the piss also adds new appeal. But the best thing about Save Your Love is the video.

Renato, in a series of tight pullovers, serenades a very serious looking Renée (played by model Vivienne Marshall). This wonderfully ill-matched couple wander around in ultra-soft-focus. Renée remains mostly stony faced while Renato blasts the song out at full volume in her face. He even manages to throw a rose up to her bedroom window, and we see them holding hands in bed. Aww. The video was subject to a delicious spoof by the wonderful Kenny Everett.

After

Save Your Love, amazingly, held fort for four weeks. As it was released on Hollywood Records, it was the first ever truly independent record to top the hit parade. But reality soon set in and Renée and Renato’s follow-up, Just One More Kiss, failed to crack the top 40. Other singles followed but got nowhere.

Lester returned to private life, but Renato loved to entertain. He became a cruise ship singer, and would often entertain guests at his son’s restaurant, named Renato’s. He is also rumoured to have been the voice behind the famous ‘Just one Cornetto’ campaign for the Wall’s ice-cream in the 80s, though his son denies this.

Renato continued to release albums and singles, and even though he was a figure of fun, he’s scored one more number 1 than most of us ever will. He died from complications during brain tumour surgery on 29 July 2009, aged 69.

The Outro

Renato was a big fan of Aston Villa FC, and in the early 90s he was asked by their manager Ron Atkinson to perform Nessun Dorma for the team to provide inspiration. After his song was over, Atkinson told his team to harness that passion on the pitch. When he appeared on the BBC Two TV show Room 101, Atkinson said that only Luciano Pavarotti could perform the song better than Renato.

The Info

Written by

Johnny Edward & Sue Edward

Producer

Johnny Edward

Weeks at number 1

4 (18 December 1982-14 January 1983)

Trivia

Births

1 January 1983: Footballer Calum Davenport

Deaths

19 December 1982: Composer Lawrance Collingwood/Actress Jane Arden
29 December: Motorcycle racer Jack Brett
31 December: Convicted robber Derek Ridgewell
2 January 1983: Comedian Dick Emery
5 January: Opera singer Amy Evans/Writer James Wentworth Day
6 January: Composer Bernard Stevens
7 January: Opera singer Edith Coates
8 January: Army brigadier-general Arthur Stanley-Clarke
10 January: Welsh rugby union player Carwyn James
14 January: Actress Margie Morris

Meanwhile…

23 December 1982: The Round Oak Steelworks at Brierley Hill in the West Midlands closes, meaning more than 1,200 jobs are lost.

1 January 1983: The British Nationality Act 1981 comes into effect, creating five classes of British nationality.

3 January: Children’s ITV is launched as the new late afternoon programming strand for children on the ITV network.

5 January: Two policemen and a policewoman drown at Blackpool after attempting to rescue a man who entered the sea to save his dog (both also drown).

6 January: Danish fishermen defy the government’s prohibition on non-UK boats fishing in its coastal waters.

14 January: Armed policemen shoot and severely injure the innocent Stephen Waldorf in London. They believed he was escaped prisoner David Martin.

307. Benny Hill (Arranged & Conducted by Harry Robinson, with The Ladybirds) – Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) (1971)

The Intro

1971 was a real mixed bag of a year for number 1s. There was early glam, reggae, pop, a former Beatle, and bookending the year were novelty songs by two popular TV comedy stars. The Christmas number 1 belonged to Benny Hill, a once much-loved comedian who became incredibly unfashionable before his death in the 80s. But in 1971, people wanted saucy innuendo in their comedy, and Hill was one of the best at that.

Before

Alfred Hawthorne Hill was born 21 January 1924 in Southampton. His father and grandfather had both been circus clowns. After Hill left school he worked at Woolworths, a bridge operator and a milkman. It is unknown whether he drove the fastest milkcart or not.

In 1942 Hill was called up for World War Two, and trained as a mechanic in the British Army. He also served as a mechanic and searchlight operator in Normandy before being transferred to the Combined Services Entertainment division before the war ended. Having decided a career in showbusiness was for him, he changed his name to Benny Hill in honour of his favourite comic, Jack Benny.

Hill struggled on the radio and stage, but found his home on TV, achieving his big break after sending scripts to the BBC in 1952. The Benny Hill Show of the 50s wasn’t that different from its 80s version, a mix of music hall, parody and bawdiness. Bar a few brief spells with ATV between 1957 and 1960 and again in 1967, he remained with the BBC until 1968.

Jackie Wright, the little bald man who Hill liked to slap on the head, joined his troupe in the 60s. I hope his head was insured for all those decades of slaps.

Within that time he also appeared in films, most notably Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines (1965), Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) and The Italian Job (1969).

The Benny Hill Show became a Thames Television show in 1969 and ran intermittently for 20 years. It is this version he is mostly remembered for, gurning and saluting away next to scantily clad girls, running around to Boots Randolph’s Yakety Sax. This very British show became popular overseas too, with Hill acting as an ambassador for the famous British seaside postcard brand of humour.

Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) began life as a song on a 1970 edition, as you can see here. Most of the double entendres are in place, with only small differences like Ernie’s age being 68 rather than 52. Releasing records was nothing new for Hill, who had been releasing comedy singles sporadically since Who Done It in 1956, and Ernie was just one of the tracks that made up his Words and Music album, released earlier that year. It’s unlikely he had an inkling as to how popular it would become.

Inspired by Hill’s time as a milkman for Hann’s Dairies in Eastleigh, Hampshire, the song is written as a Wild West-style ballad about the adventures of Ernie Price, whose milk cart is pulled by horses, sung by Hill in a comedy Cornish accent and joined by his regular backing group, The Ladybirds. Ernie and bread delivery man ‘Two Ton’ Ted from Teddington are feuding for the heart of Sue, a widow at number 22 Linley Lane. Cue the smut.

Review

I can remember Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) being played to me at school when I was pretty young, and most of the innuendo was lost on me, despite growing up watching Carry On films. Looking at the lyrics now, I can see that’s because it’s not actually very rude at all. Granted, there’s reference to crumpet, and these lines are a bit saucy:

‘He said you wanted pasturised
Coz pasturised is best
She says Ernie I’ll be happy
If it comes up to me chest’

But other than that, Hill manages to skirt anything too risqué. And that might be why it became so big. If anything, it’s more a song for children in the style of 1968 Christmas number 1 Lily the Pink, so timing had a lot to do with it. I can’t imagine adults sat around listening to this and laughing hysterically in 1971… perhaps 1961, but I may well be wrong. And it certainly doesn’t make me laugh in 2020, yet it still has a certain charm… a relic of a bygone age, perhaps helped by the promo film above, co-starring Henry McGee and Jan Butlin.

What doesn’t make me laugh is the fact that one of our worst ever Prime Ministers, David Cameron, has declared this one of his favourite songs ever on more than one occasion. But you can’t blame Benny Hill for Brexit.

After

Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) held firm for four weeks, even stopping T. Rex from having three number 1s in a row with Jeepster. Hill only released one more single, Fad Eyed Fal in 1972. Meanwhile The Benny Hill Show rattled on, with a film compilation of highlights from 1969-73 called The Best of Benny Hill released in cinemas in 1974. Despite some old-fashioned racism poking fun at the Chinese, this was unbelievably still being shown every now and then until recently.

As the 80s dawned, the show began to feature the ‘Hill’s Angels’, sexy ladies who would dance and appear as comic foils for Hill. But this was the decade in which such ideas looked increasingly outdated as alternative comedy grew ever more popular, and acts like Ben Elton led the way as the media began to disown him.

Looking back, the campaign against him seems too aggressive. Yes, he had enjoyed a good innings and it was high time he made way for more PC, sophisticated comedy by the end of the 80s, but the likes of Elton suggesting he was to blame for people being raped and violence against was unfair. More often than not, Hill was being chased by the girls, not the other way round… ok, all their clothes fell off… but still…

The Outro

The Benny Hill Show was finally taken off air in 1989. A quiet, private man when the cameras were off, he disappeared from the public eye completely.

It looked like he might be due a comeback in 1992. Thames began airing edited compilations of repeats due to public demand, and he was on the verge of signing with Central Television, but his health failed him. He had a mild heart attack that February, and on 22 April he was found dead in his armchair in front of the TV. Hill had died aged 68, two days previous, and one day after another old-school comedy giant, Frankie Howerd.

The Info

Written by

Benny Hill

Producer

Walter J Ridley

Weeks at number 1

4 (11 December 1971-7 January 1972)

Trivia

Births

23 December 1971: Socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
25 December: Singer Dido
5 January
1972: Conservative MP Philip Davies

Deaths

12 December: Footballer Torry Gillick/Scottish footballer Alan Morton
21 December:
Pilot Charles C Banks

Meanwhile…

29 December 1971: The United Kingdom gave up its military bases in Malta.

30 December: The seventh James Bond film – Diamonds Are Forever – was released. It saw Sean Connery return to the role after George Lazenby declined to come back.

4 January 1972: Rose Heilbron became the first female judge to sit at the Old Bailey.