Save Your Kisses for Me

458. Johnny Logan – What’s Another Year (1980)

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The Intro

Irish singer Johnny Logan became the first Eurovision Song Contest winner to also reach number 1 with their song since Brotherhood of Man in 1976 with Save Your Kisses for Me. He also went on to be the first act to win Eurovision twice – hence the nickname ‘Mr Eurovision’.

Before

Logan was born Seán Patrick Michael Sherrard on 13 May 1954 in the Australian suburb of Frankston, Victoria, as his father, the Irish tenor known as Patrick O’Hagan, was touring the country at the time. The Sherrards returned to Ireland when he was three, and by the age of 13 he had taken to composing his own songs. When he left school he became an apprentice electrician but was able to indulge his first love by performing music in pubs.

Sherrard starred in the title role of rock musical Adam & Eve in 1976, and a year later he was the lead in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. In 1978 he took the name Johnny Logan from the main character in 1954 Western Johnny Guitar. His debut single was No, I Don’t Want to Fall in Love, which failed to chart. The following year he made his first attempt to appear at Eurovision, but finished third in the Irish National Final.

In 1980 Logan tried again. This time he entered the Irish National with a song by broadcaster Shay Healy, who had previously written for Billy Connolly, among others. What’s Another Year had been written with Glen Curtin in mind originally, but reworked by co-producer Bill Whelan to suit Logan better. 14 years later, Whelan was asked to compose some incidental music for that year’s Dublin-based Eurovision. He came up with Riverdance, and you know how well that went down.

Logan won the Irish National final in Dublin on 9 March, and so headed to the Eurovision final in the Netherlands on 19 April. Giving a very doe-eyed, woe-is-me performance in a white suit, he won over the judges and became the first Irish winner of the contest since Dana with the execrable All Kinds of Everything.

Review

What’s Another Year isn’t much more pleasing to the ears than Dana’s song, sadly. The saxophone at the start is probably the highlight, because it brings to mind Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street. It’s downhill from there. This is bog-standard MOR dross, in which a lovelorn Logan moans about yet another anniversary of being alone. He sings it well enough, and makes things slightly more interesting when he trills the song’s title at times. But you ultimately want to give him a shake and tell him that’s more than enough wallowing. He’s good-looking, only bloody 26, and looks a lot younger. Get on Bumble, lad! There’s very little else to add other than this was clearly a victory for the older generation, hitting back after the exciting new sounds of Blondie and Dexys Midnight Runners. Oh, and the video to What’s Another Year is classic 80s soft-focus close-up tediousness.

After

What’s Another Year became number 1 across Europe. Hoping to capitalise on his Eurovision success, In London (which was the B-side of his debut) was released in June as the follow-up, and Save Me not long after that. Neither charted. As we’ve learned, with a few exceptions, Eurovision winners can quickly get forgotten about. In a blatant attempt to win over the grandparents once more, Logan recorded a recent Cliff Richard track, but Give a Little Bit More also flopped.

Logan attempted a comeback in 1983, but his new look and single Becoming Electric were a turn-off. However, in 1985 he was involved with another number 1 single. He was among The Crowd, the supergroup that recorded a cover of You’ll Never Walk Alone in aid of the Bradford City Disaster Fund, launched in the aftermath of the terrible fire that killed 56 spectators. He followed this up by becoming simply ‘Logan’, but Stab in the Back didn’t chart.

In 1984 Logan had written Ireland’s Eurovision entry, Terminal 3, for Linda Martin. And it very nearly won, coming second to Sweden’s amazingly titled Diggi-Loo Diggi-Ley by Herreys. In 1987 he won the contest in Belgium with his self-penned saccharine power ballad Hold Me Now, which reached two in the UK. He also released a cover of 10cc’s 1975 chart-topper I’m Not in Love, which was produced by fellow chart-topper Paul Hardcastle.

Logan continued to release material, but it failed to dent the UK charts. But he still faired OK in Ireland and elsewhere in Europe. He even recorded a cover of Richard’s song Miss You Nights with Elvis Presley’s backing band, the Jordannaires in 1990.

Then in 1992, Mr Eurovision struck a third time. He was the man behind Martin’s Irish entry, Why Me, which won the contest in Sweden. He became one of the select few to have written two winning Eurovision entries.

Logan has continued to release material, but has mostly stuck to Europe, particularly Germany. His stature as Mr Eurovision has ensured he’s remembered by fans of the competition. In 2005 at the 50th anniversary concert in Copenhagen, Hold Me Now was voted third most popular Eurovision entry. A new version peaked at nine in Denmark four years previous. In 2007 the double A-side Don’t Cry/I Love to Party (with Kaye Styles) climbed to seven in Belgium. The last chart success he’s had to date was Pray, a number three hit in his home country in 2013.

The Outro

When the 2020 Eurovision was cancelled due to COVID-19, the Netherlands instead hosted the programme Eurovision: Europe Shine a Light. The show featured previous participants, so of course Mr Eurovision was there, performing the suddenly relevant and even poignant What’s Another Year.

The Info

Written by

Shay Healy

Producers

Bill Whelan & Dave Pennefather

Weeks at number 1

2 (17-30 May)

Trivia

Births

22 May: Actress Lucy Gordon
30 May: Footballer Steven Gerrard

Deaths

17 May: Entrepeneur CC Roberts 
18 May: Joy Division singer Ian Curtis (see ‘Meanwhile…‘/Trade unionist Bert Papworth
19 May: Janet Hitchman/Conservative MP Sir Christopher Peto, 3rd Baronet
20 May: Diplomat Sir Oscar Morland
24 May: Diplomat Ronald Burroughs
25 May: Gardener Alan Chadwick
28 May: Rugby league player Albert Brough/Trade union leader Jack Greenhalgh

Meanwhile…

18 May: In the early hours of the morning, Ian Curtis, lead singer of Joy Division, died by suicide, aged only 23 years old, after writing a note to his wife, Deborah. The couple were soon to be divorced. Deborah discovered her husband’s body on the eve of the band’s tour of North America.

27 May: The inquest into the death of New Zealand-born teacher Blair Peach, killed during a demonstration against the National Front in 1979, returns a verdict of misadventure.

28 May: Nottingham Forest retained the European Cup by defeating West German league champions Hamburger SV 1-0 in Madrid. This was the fourth year in a row that an English club had won the trophy.

418. Brotherhood of Man – Figaro (1978)

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The Intro

Brotherhood of Man took their perceived similarity too far with their second number 1 Angelo. When their next single tanked they followed it up with another song named after a man with a similar name to Fernando. It paid off yet again and gave them a hat trick of chart toppers.

Before

The quartet had released Highwayman after Angelo but scuppered a major chance of promoting it on the 1977 Royal Variety Performance by electing to play the former instead. Figaro was their first release from their seventh album B for Brotherhood. As usual, singers Lee Sheriden and Martin Lee penned the track with producer and manager Tony Hiller. I don’t want to be cruel and call them a low budget Stig Anderson, Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus but…

Review

I was incredibly scathing about Angelo and couldn’t believe it when I saw they topped the charts a third time with what was bound to be another Fernando rip-off. So, put it down to very low expectations but I was pleasantly surprised by this. That’s mainly down to it not actually sounding like a straightforward ABBA copy. And I’m all for a bit of wah-wah guitar and the bawdy brass and song’s theme put me in mind of some kind of politically incorrect 70s British comedy film.

Figaro is a lecherous Spanish waiter intent on pursuing the opposite sex. The dirty dog is constantly at it, winking at the girls with his guitar and wandering the beaches looking for prey. The idea came about when Hiller’s daughter returned from a holiday with tales of real-life Figaros trying to romance her and other young ladies. It’s total throwaway nonsense of course, but it’s better than other Brotherhood of Man songs Angelo and Save Your Kisses For Me. Was the title this time around a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody?

After

Brotherhood of Man’s downfall came soon after. The next single Beautiful Lover was the last time they troubled the charts, peaking at 15. A compilation LP, Twenty Greatest, did at least give them their biggest album chart placing at six.

Hiller set up Dazzle Records in 1980 and signed his group but perhaps due to missing Pye’s promotional budget, they stopped selling well. They signed with Warwick Records. No, I’ve never heard of them either. Sheriden opted to leave in 1982 to study for a degree in music. He was replaced by Barry Upton, later a songwriter for Sonia and Steps.

Encouraged by the huge success of Bucks Fizz, Brotherhood of Man signed with EMI in 1982 and Hiller had high hopes of ripping off another Eurovision-winning group. A year later Hiller, Lee and Upton wrote a tune for A Song for Europe for Hiller’s male/female trio Rubic (how early 80s!) but they came fifth. When Upton decided to leave in 1984, the whole group called it a day.

However in 1985 Sheriden returned with Lee, Nicky Stevens and Sandra Stevens for a one-off TV reunion and decided to continue. They became stalwarts of the nostalgia circuit, becoming regulars at Butlins and other holiday camps. As well as their hits from the 70s they performed tracks like 1999 by Prince. That I have to hear.

The Outro

As 2000 dawned they cut back on touring but two years later they unveiled their show The Seventies Story, a nostalgic look back at the decade that brought them their glory years. They still tour now, sometimes with the current incarnation of Bucks Fizz and are often wheeled out for Eurovision-related shows, remaining one of the most successful winners of the competition.

The Info

Written by

Tony Hiller, Lee Sheriden & Martin Lee

Producer

Tony Hiller

Weeks at number 1

1 (11-17 February)

Trivia

Births

12 February: Welsh rugby player Gethin Jones

Meanwhile…

13 February: Anna Ford becomes the first female newsreader on ITV. Also on this day, an opinion poll conducted for the Daily Mail shows the Conservatives 11 points ahead of the Labour government, with an election due by October next year. The quick turnaround for the Conservatives, who last month were behind Labour, is believed to be due to Margaret Thatcher’s recent negative comments on immigration.

17 February: 12 people are killed by the Provisional IRA in the bombing of the La Mon restaurant in Belfast. It was one of the most horrific incidents in The Troubles, with some bodies left melted and unrecognisable by incineration.

410. Brotherhood of Man – Angelo (1977)

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The Intro

This must surely win the award for most unoriginal number 1. Not content with a two-man, two-woman line-up and a Eurovision victory, Brotherhood of Man aped ABBA even further with this blatant Fernando rip-off.

Before

Following the huge success of Save Your Kisses for Me, the group released their second album with this line-up. Love and Kisses from Brotherhood of Man did OK, but couldn’t match the incredible sales of their Eurovision single. Nor did their follow-up single My Sweet Rosalie. It didn’t deserve to though, as it was almost a carbon copy of what came before. This time, the lyrical conceit was that they were singing about their love for a dog, rather than their three-year-old child. Eugh. It only managed a number 30 placing.

They fared better in 1977 with their cover of Oh Boy (The Mood I’m In), peaking at eight. They shook things up this time around as it was the women, Nicky Stevens and Sandra Stevens (no relation) taking the lead. And they did so again on Angelo.

So, yes, this song. Clearly at some point in 1976 when Fernando was storming the charts, singers Martin Lee and Lee Sheriden must have said to co-songwriter and producer Tony Hiller, ‘shall we copy that?’. Perhaps at some point in the process, one of them even said ‘This is too similar, should we at least make the lead character’s name end with a different letter?’. And was then ignored.

Er, why run away, avoid peril and then commit suicide? Doesn’t matter, does it, it sounds like ABBA. And not only is it a dead ringer for Fernando, the cheeky fuckers even add some piano reminiscent of Dancing Queen. Utterly shameless!

Review

They did at least manage to change the story of Angelo. But they forgot to add much detail. Fernando was about two former revolutionaries reminiscing over the war in Mexico. Angelo was a death disc about a shepherd boy in the mountains of, yes, Mexico. He and a girl from a rich family fell in love and so ‘They ran away to their destiny’. Despite avoiding danger, and strangers, their destiny was for them to kill themselves. For some reason.

‘They took their lives at night
And in the morning light
They found them on the sand
They saw them lying there, hand-in-hand.’

The Outro

And so the British public, who should be commended for keeping I Feel Love at number 1 for a month, showed how stupid they can also be. How could Angelo top anything, let alone one of the best songs of all time? Not as irritating as Save Your Kisses for Me, but come on! This belongs on some cheap and nasty light entertainment show, not at number 1.

The Info

Written by

Tony Hiller, Lee Sheridan & Martin Lee

Producer

Tony Hiller

Weeks at number 1

1 (20-26 August)

Meanwhile…

23 August: A new, smaller, £1 note was introduced.

388. ABBA – Fernando (1976)

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The Intro

It may have seemed a little bold for ABBA to release a Greatest Hits in March 1976. However, their label Polar decided to due to the many cash-in compilations labels scattered around the globe were releasing in an attempt to cash-in on the fact that they were becoming huge. And with two UK number 1 singles to their name and plenty of hits elsewhere featured, it proved a wise move. It became their first number 1 album on these shores.

Before

As well as a mix of their early hits and lesser-known tracks in the UK, there was a new song, released as a single. Although it wasn’t strictly speaking, ‘new’. Fernando had first featured on band member Anni-Frid Lyngstad’s debut solo LP Frida ensam in 1975. Benny Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus had originally called it Tango but at the last minute they renamed it Fernando after a bartender working at a club in Stockholm, Sweden, allegedly.

This Swedish version had lyrics penned by ABBA’s manager Stig Anderson and Lyngstad is singing to a heartbroken Fernando, attempting to console him after he has lost the love of his life. The chorus translated as:

‘Long live love, our best friend, Fernando.
Raise your glass and propose a toast to it; to love, Fernando.
Play the melody and sing a song of happiness.
Long live love, Fernando’

When it came to ABBA recording the song, Ulvaeus decided to take a different tack. He was lying outside one summer night and gazing at the stars when he hit upon a brainwave. Fernando became about two old freedom fighters who fought in the Texas Revolution of 1836, who reminisced about days of old one night in Mexico.

Review

Fernando is one of ABBA’s best-known and biggest-selling singles, but it’s my least favourite of their number 1s. I find it leaden and overwrought and I’m not really interested in hearing about what two 19th-century soldiers have to say. Give me their relationship drama and we’ve something to work with. It also suffers coming straight after Save Your Kisses For Me, which meant 10 weeks of tedium at number 1 on repeats of Top of the Pops and again, it makes me relieved I wasn’t a pop fan in 1976. Having said all this, I’d be a liar if I didn’t say the chorus was very memorable.

ABBA starred in a memorable, suitably dramatic video for Fernando, sat around a campfire looking very serious and gazing into each other’s eyes, as you can see above. ABBA made lots of videos – I’m not sure if they ever actually promoted on Top of the Pops in person? As well as a month as UK number 1, Fernando topped the charts across the globe. It became the longest-running number 1 in Australian history (14 weeks) for more than 40 years until Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You went one better in 2017.

After

ABBA made a Spanish-language album, Gracias Por La Música, in 1980 and Fernando was a natural choice for an LP aimed at Latin American countries.

The Outro

So, ABBA had scored two number 1s before we even reach the half-way mark of 1976, and the best was yet to come.

The Info

Written by

Benny Andersson, Stig Anderson & Björn Ulvaeus

Producers

Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus

Weeks at number 1

4 (8 May-4 June)

Trivia

Births

8 May: Steps singer Ian ‘H’ Watkins
14 May: Actress Martine McCutcheon

Deaths

14 May: Yardbirds singer Keith Relf

Meanwhile…

9 May: 20-year-old prostitute Marcella Claxton is badly injured in a hammer attack in Leeds.

10 May: Following months of rumours of his involvement in a plot to murder his ex-lover Norman Scott, Jeremy Thorpe resigns as leader of the Liberal Party.

19 May: Liverpool win the UEFA Cup for the second time by completing a 4-3 aggregate win over Belgian side Club Brugge KV at the Olympiastadion in Brugge.

27 May: Harold Wilson’s Resignation Honours List is published. It becomes known satirically as the ‘Lavender List’ due to the number of wealthy businessmen awarded honours.

1 June: UK and Iceland end the third and final Cod War. The UK abandoned the ‘open seas’ international fisheries policy it had previously promoted.

387. Brotherhood of Man – Save Your Kisses for Me (1976)

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The Intro

My, my – 70s record buyers really were partial to cheese, weren’t they? In the week a new band called the Sex Pistols performed at the 100 Club for the first time, family-friendly pop quartet Brotherhood of Man started a six-week stint at number 1 with Save Your Kisses for Me, which not only became the biggest seller of the year, it also won the Eurovision Song Contest.

Before

Brotherhood of Man originally sprung from the mind of songwriter and producer Tony Hiller. Formed in 1969, he intended on a revolving door of session singers and the first line-up featured Tony Burrows (later the singer on Edison Lighthouse’s Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)), John Goodison (who also wrote early material for Brotherhood of Man), Roger Greenaway (later the co-writer of The New Seekers’ I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony)) and Sue Glover and Sunny Lee. As Sue and Sunny they were backing singers on Joe Cocker’s version of With a Little Help from My Friends.

Debut single Love One Another didn’t dent the charts but United We Stand (written by Goodison and Hiller) was a number 10 smash in 1970. Burrows left soon after and Where Are You Going to My Love, which peaked at 22, was their last hit in six years. Goodison left in early 1971 and was replaced by US singer Hal Atkinson, then Greenaway followed soon after and was replaced by Russell Stone. They split when their record label Deram dropped them in 1972.

Undeterred, Hiller decided to install another line-up. He opted for singers Martin Lee, Nicky Stevens and Lee Sheriden. Lee and Sheriden were already writers for Hiller but displayed singing abilities, and Stevens was a session singer and had been searching for solo stardom. Their first single was scheduled for the end of the year but when they found out David Cassidy was releasing his version, it was pulled. First two singles Happy Ever After and Our World of Love bombed in 1973. Soon after Sandra Stevens joined Brotherhood of Man. She had been a big-band singer and performed with Eve Graham of The New Seekers in the group The Nocturnes.

They signed to Pye offshoot Dawn and their first single for them, When Love Catches Up on You in 1974, didn’t chart. Bar some European success with Lady the same year and Kiss Me Kiss Your Baby in 1975, this incarnation of the group looked to be going the same way as the first. Hiller wanted to harness and maintain that success abroad and bring it on home, so entering the Eurovision Song Contest was the perfect solution.

Save Your Kisses for Me had been written by Sheriden back in 1974 originally. When presented to the others, they found the title a little clumsy and it was changed to Oceans of Love. Sheriden wasn’t best pleased and it was shelved but when it came to recording the album Love and Kisses from Brotherhood of Man, they needed one more track. Come recording day it was decided it would work better if Lee sang lead instead.

Review

Save Your Kisses for Me draws up immediate comparisons with Dawn’s Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree. Lightweight, slushy and catchy as hell. I prefer Brotherhood of Man, if I had to pick, because the chorus really gets under my skin. It’s impossible to hear without the image of the foursome standing in line doing that ridiculous dance, hands on waists, raising their feet. It’s certainly no Tiger Feet.

And then of course there’s the twist in the lyric, which makes any enjoyment of this song even more of a guilty pleasure. Throughout you’re given the impression Lee is splitting up with someone, and seemingly couldn’t give a fuck as he’s happy as can be. But then at the end, the killer blow, right after the final chorus: ‘Won’t you save them for me/Even though you’re only three.’

What?! Wait, don’t panic. Though it’s easy, considering the decade, to take a cheap shot and imagine Lee is yet another 70s pop star paedophile, he’s talking about his child! Very sweet – but way too sickly. The way it wraps up is horrible, and reminds me of Gilbert O’Sullivan’s Clair. Seeing it at number 1 week after week on repeats of Top of the Pops was bad enough, so I consider myself lucky I wasn’t around at the time.

After

Save Your Kisses for Me went to number 1 a fortnight before Eurovision. Brotherhood of Man were first up on that fateful night, 3 April at The Hague in the Netherlands. I was going to make a jokey link about the fact it’s where war crimes are judged so it seems appropriate but it doesn’t quite work.

To say it went well is an understatement. According to John Kennedy O’Connor’s The Eurovision Song Contest – The Official History, it is the biggest selling single for a winning entry in the contest’s history. It also holds the record for the highest relative score under the voting system introduced in 1975 (which has been used in every contest since), with an average of 9.65 points per jury. Mindboggling.

The Outro

Brotherhood of Man would return to number 1 a year later with, ironically, a complete rip-off of the song that would finally topple Save Your Kisses For Me.

The Info

Written by

Tony Hiller, Lee Sheriden & Martin Lee

Producer

Tony Hiller

Weeks at number 1

6 (27 March-7 May) *BEST-SELLING SINGLE OF THE YEAR*

Trivia

Births

10 April: Actress Clare Buckfield
15 April: Olympic rower Steve Williams
18 April: Actor Sean Maguire

Deaths

22 April: Novelist Colin MacInnnes/Comedian Sid James (see below)
28 April: Novelist Richard Hughes
7 May: Writer Alison Uttley

Meanwhile…

5 April: Labour MPs voted Foreign Secretary James Callaghan as their new leader and the Prime Minister. He defeated Roy Jenkins and Michael Foot in the leadership contest. Callaghan had been endorsed by outgoing leader Harold Wilson.

9 April: Young Liberals president Peter Hain is cleared of stealing £490 from a branch of Barclays Bank.

26 April: Much-loved comedy actor and Carry On actor Sid James dies of a heart attack on stage at the Sunderland Empire Theatre while performing in The Mating Season. Many in the audience initially mistake it as being part of the show.

1 May: Second division team Southampton FC win their first major trophy in their 91-year history when a goal from Bobby Stokes gives them a surprise 1–0 win over Manchester United in the FA Cup final at Wembley Stadium.

4 May: Liverpool FC win the Football League title for the ninth time with a 3–1 away win over relegated Wolverhampton Wanderers.

6 May: Local council elections produce disappointing results for the Labour Party, who win 15 seats and lose 829, compared to the Conservatives who win 1,044 new seats and lose 22. This setback comes despite the party enjoying a narrow lead in the opinion polls under new leader Callaghan.

322. Gilbert O’Sullivan – Clair (1972)

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The Intro

I said you’d never get a song like Mouldy Old Dough at number 1 now, and it also applies to this song that toppled it in the winter of 1972. Thanks to 60s and 70s celebrities like Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Gary Glitter (two of which had number 1s), any song referencing love for a child is understandably looked upon with suspicion nowadays. In this song, Irish singer-songwriter Gilbert O’Sullivan professes his love for his manager’s young daughter.

Before

O’Sullivan was originally Raymond Edward O’Sullivan, born in Waterford on 1 December 1946. The family moved to Battersea, London when he was seven, and Swindon, Wiltshire a year later. O’Sullivan attended St. Joseph’s and the Swindon College of Art, and he briefly played drums in the band Rick’s Blues. Rick was Rick Davies, who went on to form Supertramp. He taught O’Sullivan drums and piano.

1967 was a big year by O’Sullivan. His then-manager Stephen Shane suggested a name change from Ray to Gilbert as a play on ‘Gilbert and Sullivan’. At the time his songs were avant-garde – so much so, Vivian Stanshall of the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band expressed an interest in recording some. He was then signed to CBS Records by Mike Smith, producer of number 1s by The Marmalade, The Love Affair and The Tremeloes.

His first three singles, all credited to just ‘Gilbert’, got nowhere, but things improved after O’Sullivan sent demo tapes to Gordon Mills, manager of Engelbert Humperdinck and Tom Jones. Mills signed him to MAM Records, despite not being a fan of his idiosyncratic image. At a time of long hair and flares, O’Sullivan was going against the grain with a retro look consisting of a pudding-bowl hairstyle, cloth cap and short trousers.

In 1970 O’Sullivan had his first top 10 hit with Nothing Rhymed, considered one of his best tracks. He built on this success the following year with his debut album Himself and singles We Will and No Matter How I Try, which was recognised as Best Ballad or Romantic Song at the 1972 Ivor Novello Awards.

Then came his most famous single. Alone Again (Naturally) was a bleak introspective tale of a man contemplating suicide after being jilted at the altar. This critically-acclaimed 7-inch reached number three here, but topped the Billboard Hot 100 in the US.

Upon the release of his second album Back to Front, O’Sullivan ditched the old image and went to a different extreme, perming his hair and displaying his hairy chest like labelmate Tom Jones. Despite this, the music contained within was still light melancholic pop with a touch of music hall.

Review

Clair begins as a straightforward love song. O’Sullivan and Clair began as friends, but he knew from the start this was special, and his feelings grew even more as the friendship did. But hang on, there’s an age gap, which has clearly thrown a spanner in the works:

‘But why in spite of our age difference do I cry.
Each time I leave you I feel I could die.
Nothing means more to me than hearing you say,
“I’m going to marry you. Will you marry me? Oh hurray!”‘

Wonder what the gap is… sounds tricky, a teen perhaps?

‘I’ve told you before “Don’t you dare!”
“Get back into bed.”
“Can’t you see that it’s late.”
“No you can’t have a drink.”
“Oh allright then, but wait just a minute.”
While I, in an effort to babysit, catch up on my breath,
What there is left of it.’

Oh… he’s her babysitter… and it’s his manager and producer’s daughter… right.

Now, I’m not going to be silly enough to suggest O’Sullivan is a paedophile, or that everyone who kept this at number 1 for a fortnight condones such behaviour. Clearly they saw this as nothing more than a cute song about this lovely little girl and how he can’t help but love her. They perhaps also liked the punchline of it being about a child, in the same way they Brotherhood of Man’s Save Your Kisses for Me at number 1 for six weeks in 1976. Times have changed.

But yes, there’s no escaping how problematic some of the lyrics are, namely the fact he can see himself marrying Clair eventually, and most of all ‘I don’t care what people say, to me you’re more than a child.’ When we’re only a year off the likes of Glitter conquering the charts, it can’t help but make modern listeners feel queasy.

The Outro

Songs about children are a precarious concept. Even a musical genius like Stevie Wonder overdid it with Isn’t She Lovely, a nice tune that went on far too long and didn’t need baby noises thrown in. John Lennon’s Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) just about stays on the right side of sentimentality. It’s very easy to be too twee and make the listener feel sick, and that’s what Clair does for me, particularly that ‘Oh Clair’ and the giggle at the end. Yuck.

The Info

Written by

Gilbert O’Sullivan

Producer

Gordon Mills

Weeks at number 1

2 (11-24 November)

Meanwhile…

18 November: 100 years to the day since the England men’s team played its first official association football match, the women’s team did the same, against Scotland, in Greenock. They won 3-2.