Little Jimmy Osmond

430. Boney M – Mary’s Boy Child/Oh My Lord (1978)

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The Intro

So we reach the end of 1978. Finally, the singles chart and pop in general has become important to the public once more. Singles by Wings, Boney M and John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John remain among the biggest sellers of all time. Punk may have never officially had a number 1, but its presence had shaken pop up, and god was it needed. As the 70s draws to a close, the chart-toppers take on a whole new freshness and 1979 is the most exciting year for pop number 1s in over 10 years.

Before

But first, this. Manufactured disco quartet Boney M capped off an enormously successful year with the festive number 1. Rivers of Babylon had been number 1 for five weeks in the spring/summer of 1978. It was the bestseller that year and is still the seventh best-selling single of all time in the UK. The album it came from, Nightflight to Venus, was also huge and also spawned Rasputin. Number 1 across Europe, it stalled at two here, and unlike most of their oeuvre, I can enjoy that one. Maybe.

In November, the mastermind behind Boney M, Frank Farian, assembled the group to hastily record a Christmas single. He decided to cover Mary’s Boy Child, which had been the UK Christmas number 1 for US singer Harry Belafonte in 1957.

If you read my review of that single when it was live here, or have since read my book Every UK Number 1: The 50s, you’ll know it was composed by Jester Hairston. His friend, who he was at the time sharing a room with, asked Hairston to write him a song for a birthday party. He came up with the calypso tune He Pone and Chocolate Tea but it was quickly forgotten about. But when the composer Walter Schumann asked Hairston for a festive song for Schumann’s Hollywood Choir to perform in 1956, he reworked He Pone and Chocolate Tea and it became Mary’s Boy Child. Belafonte heard the choir’s rendition and recorded it that year, before releasing a longer version the following year. It was the latter which took the Christmas top spot.

Farian, the opportunist that he was, decided to tack a new song on the end, therefore ensuring he and Fred Jay would receive royalties.

Review

Mary’s Boy Child/Oh My Love may be the 12th biggest-selling UK number 1 of all time, but it leaves me as cold as the weather that winter. This is the weakest Christmas number 1 since Little Jimmy Osmond in 1972. Farian takes a stately festive ballad and gives it the cheesy disco-lite touch. He keeps it similar enough to the original to perhaps encourage record buyers ready for some 50s nostalgia, while making it disco enough for the young at the time. The result is a tacky, boring affair. And if it wasn’t already too long, the Oh My Lord section then starts up and it seems as though Boney M are never going to stop. I love Christmas tackiness, but I find it very hard to think of any positives here.

After

Boney M’s huge sales dropped from here on in. In 1979 they reached 10 with Painter Man. But Hooray! Hooray! It’s a Holi-Holiday peaked at three that summer and remained a kids’ holiday club staple well into the 80s. Their next album Oceans of Fantasy spawned double A-side Gotta Go Home/El Lute, which reached 12 and I’m Born Again, which went to 35. Their last new song to reach the top 40 was the interestingly named We Kill the World (Don’t Kill the World). It only got to 39 in 1981. That same year, the dancer Bobby Farrell, who mimed to Farian’s vocals, was sacked for being too unreliable.

In 1982 Reggie Tsiboe replaced Farrell but it made little difference to Boney M’s decline. Farrell eventually returned but in 1986 Farian had got bored and pulled the plug on Boney M after their eighth LP Eye Dance. For the rest of the 80s, various incarnations of Boney M existed, with or without Farian’s approval. In 1988 the ‘classic’ line-up reunited without him briefly.

There was a renewed interest in the group in 1992, thanks to Mega Mix, a number seven hit which also featured a remix of Mary’s Boy Child/Oh My Lord. The only noteworthy member of Boney M at this point was singer Liz Mitchell, who Farian once described as the only irreplaceable member of the group. The following year Brown Girl in the Ring (Remix) took them to 38. Another remix, Ma Baker (Somebody Scream), is their last hit to date, peaking at 22 in 1999.

In 2010 Farrell died of heart failure, aged 61. Mitchell tours as Boney M, featuring Liz Mitchell (well you would, wouldn’t you?). Marcia Barrett, who sang the a cappella intro to Mary’s Boy Child/Oh My Lord, lives in Berlin. Maizie Williams, who never sang on any original studio recordings by Boney M, now performs them live.

The Outro

Farian was the man behind another manufactured group. He formed the duo Milli Vanilli in 1988. Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus never sang a note but they became one of the biggest names of the era. He promised them he’d cover their backs but when the miming scandal broke, Farian fired them and announced they never sang for real on their records. Something that hadn’t bothered the pop world when Boney M were at large destroyed Milli Vanilli, and Pilatus was found dead in 1998 of a suspected drink and drugs overdose.

The Info

Written by

Jester Hairston, George Reyam, Frank Farian & Fred Jay

Producer

Frank Farian

Weeks at number 1

4 (9 December 1978-5 January 1979)

Trivia

Births

16 December: Actor Joe Absolom
23 December: Model Jodie Marsh

Deaths

23 December: Academic Malcolm Caldwell (see ‘Meanwhile…’)

Meanwhile…

14 December 1978: The Labour minority government narrowly survives a vote of confidence.

21–22 December: BBC One and BBC Two are taken off air when the BBC members of the ABS union decide to strike over pay. The following day, the union calls its radio members out on strike. This leads to the merging of BBC Radio 1, 2, 3 and 4 into one national radio network. From 4.00pm that day, the management runs a schedule of news and music. BBC One controller Bill Cotton begins to panic that the strike will ruin ratings over the all-important Christmas period. He prepares two Christmas schedules for BBC One, one if there is no strike, and one filled with repeats and films if there is. Luckily for him, the BBC and ABS go to the government’s conciliation service ACAS, and a deal is reached by 10pm on 22 December, with the unions getting a 15% pay rise. All BBC TV and radio services return to normal service by lunchtime on 23 December.

23 December: Marxist writer Malcolm Caldwell is shot dead in Cambodia shortly after meeting Pol Pot.

5 January 1979: Lorry drivers go on strike, causing new shortages of heating oil and fresh food. With terrible freezing conditions damaging the economy at the same time, Labour’s ‘Winter of Discontent’ had begun.

355. The Osmonds (Arranged by HB Barnum) – Love Me for a Reason (1974)

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The Intro

With three number 1s from Donny Osmond and a Christmas chart-topper from Little Jimmy Osmond, this blog has been no stranger to the 70s musical Mormon family phenomenon. But The Osmonds, the group that started it all, only scored one number 1. It is the best of (a poor) bunch, though.

Before

The story of their beginnings in showbiz was covered in my blog on Puppy Love. Alan, Wayne, Merril and Jay started out as a barbershop quartet before finding fame on The Andy Williams Show. Donny soon joined them, and occasionally sister Marie and their little brother Jimmy would make appearances too. Producer Mike Curb got the quintet a contract with MGM Records and they had a US number 1, One Bad Apple, in 1971.

A formula was soon established where Merril would sing lead and Donny would perform the hook or chorus of their singles, which included Double Lovin’ and Yo-Yo. Oldest brother Virl taught the group how to dance, as he could only hear 15% of what most people can hear – just enough to follow a rhythm.

Donny’s solo career took off, but the other four would perform on his material too. 1972 was a big year for The Osmonds, with an animated TV series and group and solo hits. They began to tire of the clean pop sound, and the album Phase III moved them closer to rock. But not as much as the follow-up, Crazy Horses, featuring as its title track a surprisingly heavy rocker about the environment that remains brilliant. The Osmonds wrote all the songs here and even played all the instruments, with Alan on rhythm guitar, Wayne on lead guitar, Merril on bass, Jay on drums and Donny on keyboards. It took Crazy Horses for The Osmonds to score a hit in the UK (number two), despite Donny’s popularity.

In 1973 The Osmonds took the bold move of releasing a concept album about their Mormon faith. Despite the unusual subject matter, the hits continued, with Goin’ Home and Let Me In reaching two and four respectively. By this time, Little Jimmy had scored a Christmas number 1 and their sister Marie was also releasing material along with duets with Donny. The Osmonds were getting older, spreading themselves thin and beginning to get on people’s nerves, but their biggest hit was right around the corner.

The ballad Love Me for a Reason was originally released by its co-writer, former Motown songwriter Johnny Bristol, without much fanfare. However, he was on the same label as The Osmonds, and their management thought it would be a good fit. It became the title track of their sixth LP.

Review

This is normally the kind of sentimental ballad I’d run a mile from, and yet, I quite like Love Me for a Reason, and have done since my first exposure to it when Boyzone took their version to number two in 1994. Sure it’s soppy and slushy, and a bit righteous. No doubt the message of ‘only have sex if its true love’ worked nicely with The Osmonds, and with a boyband as wet as Boyzone (I’ve never been able to stand any song they released from then on), but the tune is pretty nice, and Mike Curbs’ production makes it superior to the 90s version, with some guitar touches here and there making it almost a country song. The highlight of both versions is when a bit of passion breaks through on ‘My initial reaction is honey give me love/Not a facsimile of’. Ok, it’s not Robert Plant screaming ‘I’m gonna give you every inch of my love’ but there’s a time and place for everything and if you ever need a squeaky-clean love song, this does the job.

After

Only one more big hit followed for The Osmonds over here – the title track to their next album, The Proud One in 1975 (the album was called I’m Still Gonna Need You on these shores), reaching number five. By then, the Bay City Rollers were the UK’s biggest teen idols, and The Osmonds seemed stale. There never seemed to be any tensions or inner jealousy in the family, and the older brothers became happy to go behind the scenes and produce The Donny & Marie Show from 1976 to 1979. When the show ended, the brothers were in debt and needed a new direction. They switched record labels to Mercury and made an album with Maurice Gibb. Although The Bee Gees were still huge, the LP bombed.

Alan, Wayne, Merrill and Jay returned to performing as The Osmond Brothers, as they had when starting out, and had a few country chart hits in the US in the early-80s, but their refusal to tour didn’t help their careers. The eldest singing Osmond, Alan, was diagnosed as having multiple sclerosis in 1987, and his performances understandably became even more sporadic. 10 years later, Wayne found out he had a brain tumour, and it caused him to retire in the early-10s.

In 2007 the whole family embarked on a tour to celebrate their 50th anniversary in showbusiness. A televised concert from Las Vegas saw them all perform, and even Tom and Virl joined in with signed lyrics on a couple of songs, plus Andy Williams made a guest appearance.

Merrill, Jay and Jimmy began working together performing and in business ventures. They released an album, I Can’t Get There Without You, in 2012, but these days, it’s just Merrill and Jay mainly, sometimes with Marie and Alan’s son, solo star David. Alan and Wayne rejoined for one final performance in 2019, but were back again on TV for Marie’s birthday in 2019.

The Outro

Often derided for their teen pop and squeaky-clean image, The Osmonds at least tried to explore new avenues in the 70s, following The Monkees in learning to write and play themselves. And come on, Crazy Horses is a real banger.

The Info

Written by

Johnny Bristol, Wayne Brown, Jr & David Jones, Jr

Producer

Mike Curb

Weeks at number 1

3 (31 August-21 September)

Trivia

Births

2 September: Presenter Lisa Snowdon
5 September: Transgender fell runner Lauren Jeska
6 September: Tennis player Tim Henman
13 September: Backstroke swimmer Adam Ruckwood
18 September: Footballer Sol Campbell

Meanwhile…

12 September: After only 44 days in the job, Brian Clough is dismissed as manager of defending league champions Leeds United following a disappointing start to the Football League season.

18 September: Harold Wilson confirms a second general election within a year for 10 October. Following the hung parliament result in February, Labour ruled with a minority government. Wilson aimed to secure more seats and hold a bigger balance of power.

327. Donny Osmond – The Twelfth of Never (1973)

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The Intro

You just couldn’t keep the Osmonds down for long in the early-70s. After a brief fightback from glam rock acts, they were back at the top once more, this time it was golden boy Donny with his second number 1.

Before

Since his last solo number 1, Puppy Love, Donny’s voice had broken. Despite this, and while the Osmonds experimented with rock on the unlikely classic, Crazy Horses, he ploughed the same furrow of romantic ballads from the 50s and 60s. The title track of his fourth solo album, Too Young, climbed to number five, and double-A-side follow-up Why/Lonely Boy reached number three. With two albums per year, not counting LPs released with his siblings, you certainly can’t accuse the Osmonds of laziness. They were milked for all they were worth, which was a fortune.

The first track off his fifth album, Alone Together, The Twelfth of Never dates back to 1956. Penned by Jerry Livingston (who co-wrote songs on Disney’s Cinderella) and Paul Webster (the lyricist on 1953 best-seller Secret Love), the tune was inspired by the 15th-century English folk tune The Riddle Song.

Crooner Johnny Mathis was the first to record it, a year later, as the B-side to his hit Chances Are, but he didn’t think much to the song. Then Cliff Richard released a version in 1964, which reached number 8.

Review

Coming after Block Buster ! and Cum On Feel the Noize only makes The Twelfth of Never seem that much duller than it already is. Osmond’s voice may have broken but he still seems too young to be singing about how he’ll love his girl forever. It needs a crooner with gravitas, and is far better suited to Mathis. It has a pretty nice tune, but the lyrics have aged – and the ending in which is noted that the twelfth of never is ‘a very long time’… no kidding!

The Outro

Mike Curb and Don Costa’s production is polished but barely conceals a rather lacklustre affair, when all is said and done. Not as nauseating as Puppy Love though, and certainly better than his little brother Jimmy’s effort.

The Info

Written by

Jerry Livingston & Paul Francis Webster

Producers

Mike Curb & Don Costa

Weeks at number 1

5 (31 March-6 April)

Trivia

Births

3 April: Actor Jamie Bamber

Meanwhile…

1 April: Value-added tax (VAT) first came into effect, and phase 2 of the Price and Pay Code came into effect, restricting rises in pay and prices as a counter-inflation measure.

6 April: Peter Niesewand, a correspondent of The Guardian newspaper and the BBC, was jailed in Rhodesia for an alleged breach of the Official Secrets Act.

324. Little Jimmy Osmond with The Mike Curb Congregation – Long Haired Lover from Liverpool (1972)

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The Intro

What fresh hell is this? By installing nine-year-old Little Jimmy Osmond as Christmas number 1, the UK record-buying public’s collective nervous breakdown of 1972 was complete. The Osmonds were the biggest pop sensation of the year – but this was a step too far.

Before

James Arthur Osmond, born 16 April 1963, is the youngest member of the family, born in Canoga Park, California. His brothers were already TV stars as regulars on The Andy Williams Show at this point, and Jimmy was taught by tutors, his parents preparing him from a young age to follow them into the music industry.

Long Haired Lover from Liverpool was originally a single by Christoper Kingsley (credited on the Osmond version as Christopher Dowden for some reason) from 1969. I’m assuming the title is a reference to The Beatles, then still a going concern. It’s almost identical to the Osmond version, though as it’s sung by a grown man, it’s not as irritating. Examining the vinyl label suggests the backing singers on the original are the same as Osmond’s version, namely The Mike Curb Congregation. Curb, a film score and TV theme writer, had formed the group in the 60s to sing on his work. In 1969 he had merged his company with MGM Records, which soon became home to The Osmonds. He also co-produced this abomination.

The original version bombed, but Jimmy’s mother Olive heard it as it was distributed by MGM, and a horrible, terrible idea formed. It was a cute little tune… her boys had cornered the market in teenage girls… Christmas was around the corner, the boys were about to visit the UK… Jimmy could release it as a single!

Review

A few years back I listened and reviewed every Christmas number 1 in one sitting here. I rated Long Haired Lover from Liverpool as the worst of the 70s, and I stand by that. Comments included ‘Jesus Christ. That’s the only thing I can say about this that’s remotely festive, but it’s not meant as a compliment… It’s memorable I guess, but so is a bout of diarrhoea’. Nothing has changed since then to change my opinion, and although there have been plenty of weird choices in 1972’s number 1s, this still stands out as particularly stinky.

Osmond’s voice is just awful – but he was only nine (still the youngest person to ever have a UK number 1), so his parents are to blame. And the fools who kept this at the top of the charts for five weeks. FIVE WEEKS?! You can almost excuse it happening in the silly season, but for a month afterwards? And it kept David Bowie, T. Rex and even his brothers from number 1 with The Jean Genie, Solid Gold Easy Action and Crazy Horses respectively. The only plus point is it’s over quick.

After

Amazingly, Osmond scored further hits with Tweedle Dee and I’m Gonna Knock On Your Door (none of these songs fared anywhere near as well in his home country). His recordings became sporadic as the Osmond empire declined in popularity, and in the 80s he moved into management, though he would still occasionally appear on stage with his siblings. He opened the Osmond Family Theater and became president of Osmond Entertainment, running their merchandise and producing TV.

Since the new millennium began, Osmond has been a pantomime mainstay in the UK and appeared on TV time and time again, including I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, Come Dine with Me and Celebrity Masterchef. He seems a thoroughly nice guy, and we all do silly things in our youth, so lets forgive him for this aberration.

The Outro

1972 must rank as one of the weirdest years for number 1s to date. Lots of the ‘grown-up’ stars were still concentrating on albums, and although glam rock ensured great releases by Slade and T. Rex, it wasn’t as huge as it was to become. At least January 1973 was a blockbuster month…

The Info

Written by

Christopher Dowden

Producers

Mike Curb & Perry Botkin Jr

Weeks at number 1

5 (23 December 1972-26 January 1973)

The Info

Births

29 December 1972: Actor Jude Law
18 January 1973: Kula Shaker singer Crispian Mills – 18 January 1973

Deaths

24 December 1972: Art historian Gisela Richter
15 January 1973: Scottish novelist Neil M Gunn
19 January: Northern Irish actor Max Adrian

Meanwhile…

1 January 1973: A big day for the UK, as it officially entered the European Economic Community along with the Republic of Ireland and Denmark. Membership refusals in 1963 and 1967 had both been vetoed by French President Charles de Gaulle. Edward Heath later said entry into the EEC was his greatest accomplishment as Prime Minister.

11 January: The BBC’s Open University awarded its first degrees.

19 January: Super tug Statesman was sent to protect British fishing vessels from Iceland’s ships in the Cod War.

22 January: British share values fell by £4 billion in one day.

25 January: English actor Derren Nesbitt pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife Anne Aubrey after she told him she had been having an affair. They divorced a few months later.