381. Billy Connolly – D.I.V.O.R.C.E. (1975)

The Intro

‘The Big Yin’ had a number 1? Really? Yes, Glaswegian giant of comedy Sir Billy Connolly covered country icon Tammy Wynette’s break-up song, turned it into a ditty about his dog and topped the charts. How very 1975.

Before

To say Connolly came from humble beginnings is rather an understatement. William Connolly was born at home in Anderston, Glasgow on 24 November 1942. This home had no hot water, and he was bathed in the sink. His father was in Burma during the Second World War and afterwards, in 1946, his teenage mother abandoned him and his older sister Florence for a new man. Considering the circumstances at the time, he has never felt ill will towards his mother and said he would have done the same. They were raised by two aunts, but not happily, as they resented the children. His father eventually returned, and physically and sexually abused his son until he was 15.

Connolly did at least take solace in discovering the joy of being able to make people laugh while a young schoolboy of seven, and at 14 he fell in love with the music of Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry. He left school a year later with two engineering qualifications – one belonging to a boy named Connell. Taking up odd jobs until he was old enough to be an engineer, he was ruled overqualified and so he became a boilermaker at a shipyard. Shooting up in height as a teen, he soon towered over his father and earned the ‘Big Yin’ nickname.

In his late-teens during the early-60s Connolly attended the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and began modelling himself on the folk singers that performed there. Following jobs including building an oil platform in Nigeria, he decided to become a folk musician and bought a banjo. In 1965 he and guitarist Tam Harvey became The Humblebums and they began touring the pubs. In 1969 they were approached by a singer named Gerry Rafferty and they became a trio. After recording one album that year (First Collection of Merry Melodies), Harvey left. Connolly and Rafferty released two more albums before they split in 1971, with Rafferty going on to release, among others, Stuck in the Middle with You (with Stealers Wheel) and Baker Street.

So, Connolly was a folk singer on his own now, and he became known for his charismatic stage performances, where the introductions to the songs were as lengthy and entertaining as the music. In 1972 he made his comic debut with a revue called Connolly’s Glasgow Flourish. The Edinburgh Festival Fringe then beckoned, and his first solo album, Billy Connolly Live! was released, a mix of comedy and songs. But it was the 1973 double album Solo Concert that propelled Connolly to the mainstream. Sell-out gigs followed, and in 1975 came the first of a record 15 appearances on Parkinson, in which an edgy joke about bikes changed his life forever.

Connolly was by then signed with Polydor Records and had released The Welly Boot Song. Next up was a timely rewrite of Wynette’s 1968 hit D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Timely because she had just divorced George Jones and had been number 1 with Stand by Your Man, also from 1968. In the original, Wynette is heartbroken and determined not to tell her four-year-old-son that his dad will soon be elsewhere, so she spells out the word, and several others, including ‘C.U.S.T.O.D.Y’. It’s all very maudlin, so ripe for spoofing.

Review

Connolly made it about a dog that was going into ‘Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E’ because it’s bitten him, caused he and his wife to have an argument, in which she bit his arse, and then the dog bit the vet too. As a result of which, Connolly has decided to get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Yes, all a bit silly really, and it hasn’t aged well at all. Held in by the need to make it family-friendly, Connolly doesn’t get the chance to be let off the leash. Although, there is the line ‘She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me an effin C’. I’m guessing he’d say ‘cunt’ when performing this live. So without the shock element, it’s not very funny.

Also, why would you need to avoid saying ‘quarantine’ in front of a dog anyway? I mean, I know this isn’t meant to be realistic, but the whole thing is rather pointless, and isn’t helped by Connolly constantly bursting into laughter. You can’t deny Connolly has bucketloads of charm, but I don’t like to think of him seeming so smug about something so unfunny. I doubt you’d get away with the closing line of ‘Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer’ these days either, but that’s with 45 years of hindsight.

After

Further similarly tame spoofs followed, including No Chance (the awful No Charge, originally) in 1976 and In the Brownies (yep, In the Navy) in 1979. He served as Elton John’s warm-up man on a US tour in 1976, but he bombed. By then he was living like a rock star himself, using cocaine and alcohol in large doses, and collapsed in a studio, and shocked comedian Pamela Stephenson with his self-destructive ways backstage in 1979. They fell in love and began an affair. That same year, Connolly became the first non-Oxbridge member of The Secret Policeman’s Ball.

As the 80s began Connolly was now concentrating almost solely on comedy. 1985 was to be an eventful year. He went teetotal, starred in the British film Water, sang the rollicking theme to Children’s ITV series Super Gran (released as a single) and divorced his first wife after four years separated. He also introduced Elton John at Live Aid. In 1989, Connolly and Stephenson married.

After several false starts, the Big Yin finally conquered the Big Apple and the rest of the US in the 90s. He starred in stand-up TV specials and landed a part in the sitcom Head of the Class and spin-off Billy. In 1994 World Tour of Scotland, for the BBC, followed the comedian around his home country, and spawned Billy Connolly’s World Tour of Australia a year later. He even provided his voice to a character in Disney’s Pocahontas (1995). Connolly was fast becoming a jack of all trades, and won critical acclaim and BAFTA nominations for his role in 1997 historical drama Queen Victoria, alongside Dame Judi Dench.

Further ‘World Tour’ series followed in the 00s, and roles in Hollywood films The Last Samurai (2003), Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004). He also voiced a character in Brave (2012) and starred in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies in 2014.

The Outro

In 2013 Connolly announced that he had undergone minor surgery for prostate cancer, and was also in the early stages of Parkinson’s. Since then, the disease has progressed and has caused Connolly to retire from live stand-up, aged 78. Connolly has been a singer, artist, actor, playwright and boilermaker, but it his outrageous comedy for which he will be remembered mostly. Let’s hope he has many years left to enjoy his retirement.

Trivia

Written by

Billy Connolly

Producer

Phil Coulter

Weeks at number 1

1 (22-28 November)

Trivia

Deaths

25 November: Actress Moyna Macgill
27 November: Co-founder of the Guinness Book of Records Ross McWhirter (see below)

Meanwhile…

27 November: The Provisional IRA assassinated Ross McWhirter, co-founder with twin brother Norris of the Guinness Book of Records. He was shot dead for offering reward money to IRA informers.

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