346. Paper Lace – Billy – Don’t Be a Hero (1974)

Death discs! Remember them? No? Don’t worry, it’s been a while. They hadn’t been in fashion since the mid-60s, and the last proper one to top the charts was Johnny Remember Me in 1961. Yet here we are in 1974, with two in a row. First, thanks to their success on Opportunity Knocks, Nottingham-based pop group Paper Lace were at number 1 with Billy – Don’t Be a Hero.

Paper Lace formed in 1967 as Music Box, consisting of Cliff Fish, Dave Manders, Roy White and Phil Wright. They performed contemporary covers by bands including The Beach Boys. In 1969 they became Paper Lace, named after their city’s long history with lace. While working their way through club gigs a year later they auditioned for Opportunity Knocks, the ITV talent show presented by Hughie Green. Nothing came of it at first, but they signed with Philips and released the album First Edition in 1972. The following year they were finally called up to appear on Opportunity Knocks, and they went down a storm, winning five weeks on the trot. By this point, the band consisted of Philip Wright on drums and lead vocals (very unusual, especially in these days), Mick Vaughan on guitar, Fish was still there on bass, and Chris Morris on guitar and vocals.

Meanwhile, hitmaking duo Mitch Murray and Peter Callander, last seen on this blog having written 1968 number 1 The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde for Georgie Fame, had written Billy – Don’t Be a Hero and were looking for someone to record it. Murray, the man behind Gerry and the Pacemakers’ three number 1s in 1963, wanted an established group to record it, but Callander’s wife saw Paper Lace on TV and suggested them to her husband.

Opening to a chirpy military drumbeat and whistling, Paper Lace’s solo number 1 is the weakest chart-topper of 1974 thus far. It sounds more like a single from the golden era of death discs and it’s too cheesy and naff to get much enjoyment out of. As an anti-war song, some suspect it was a brave move for Billy – Don’t Be a Hero to be released during the Vietnam War and that it was a comment on the situation, but clearly it wasn’t. There are references to ‘soldier-blues’ and ‘riding out’, and on publicity photos and one Top of the Pops appearance, the band (now bolstered by new member Carlo Santanna – not Carlos Santana – on guitar and mandolin), they’re wearing Union outfits. It’s a song about the American Civil War.

But yes, whichever war it’s about, the message is a good one. Don’t be a hero Billy, stay and marry your fiancée. But alas, no. Come the final verse, Billy has indeed died a hero, and his girlfriend throws the letter away. There’s no denying Callander and Murray in particular know how to write a tune, but their songs sound so stale in a year where disco is right around the corner. Having said that, it is unfortunately perhaps a sign of things to come, because there are some truly awful pop songs to come throughout the rest of the decade too.

Considering the subject matter, you’d think Paper Lace might have had a chance with a hit in the US. So it must have been pretty annoying when Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods got in there first and went to number 1 with their rushed cover. The Nottingham boys had more luck second time around though, when Murray and Callander gave them Prohibition-set tune The Night Chicago Died as a follow-up. It climbed to number three on these shores, but they scored a number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Third collaboration, The Black-Eyed Boys, just missed out on the top 10, also in 1974. With their second album, Paper Lace and Other Bits of Material released too, it was a busy year. It didn’t take long for Paper Lace to unravel though, and by 1976 the ‘classic’ line-up was no more.

Paper Lace resurfaced with different members in 1978 and scored a top 30 hit when they teamed up with Nottingham Forest FC to record a version of We’ve Got the Whole World in Our Hands. They split up in 1980 but by 1983 another version had formed. In 1990 Wright, Vaughan and Morris re-recorded Billy – Don’t Be a Hero but it was never released due to the Gulf War. The original was on a list of songs banned by the BBC at the time.

These days there are two versions of Paper Lace, each containing different members from their hitmaking days. Why can’t everyone just learn to get along?

Written & produced by: Mitch Murray & Pete Callander

Weeks at number 1: 3 (16 March-5 April)

Births:

Snooker player Mark King – 28 March
Radio DJ Scott Mills – 28 March
Conservative MP John Glen – 1 April

Meanwhile…

18 March: Most OPEC nations end a five-month oil embargo against the US, Europe and Japan.

20 March: After wounding four people, crazed gunman Ian Ball fails in his attempt to kidnap Princess Anne and her husband Captain Mark Phillips in The Mall, outside Buckingham Palace. When he wrestled her to the floor of the Rolls-Royce and commanded her to get out, the princess’s response was ‘Not bloody likely!’. Passing heavyweight boxer Ronnie Russell came to the rescue, punching Ball twice in the head. Princess Anne’s parting words were ‘Just go away and don’t be such a silly man.’ Ball is still ‘away’, in Broadmoor Hospital.

29 March: The new Labour government re-establishes direct rule over Northern Ireland after declaring a state of emergency. 

1 April: The Local Government Act 1972 comes into effect in England and Wales, creating six new metropolitan counties and redrawing the administrative map. Newport and Monmouthshire are legally transferred from England to Wales.

345. Alvin Stardust – Jealous Mind (1974)

Gary Glitter wasn’t the only 60s has-been to become a glam icon in the 70s. Thanks to a singer-songwriter called Peter Shelley (not the Buzzcocks singer), minor pop star Shane Fenton assumed the mantle of Alvin Stardust. Among the hits that followed was this sole number 1.

Fenton was originally Bernard William Jewry, born 27 September 1942 in Muswell Hill, Middlesex. The Jewrys moved to Mansfield in Nottinghamshire when he was still young, and his mother ran a boarding house often used by singers and entertainers. He made his stage debut in a pantomime at the age of four. As a boarder at Southwell Minster Collegiate grammar school he fell in love with blues, jazz and rock’n’roll, listening to the American Forces Network and Radio Luxembourg.

Jewry got to know a local band called Johnny Theakstone and the Tremeloes, and he helped them carry their equipment. However, Theakstone died suddenly as a result of a childhood illness that had weakened his heart. The group split up, but a former member was later contacted by the BBC’s Saturday Club radio show. Theakstone had sent in an audition tape, calling himself Shane Fenton. Theakstone’s mother gave the band her blessing to reform and give it a go, and Jewry was asked to join the band as Fenton. Shane Fenton and the Fentones went down well and signed to Parlophone in 1961. Several minor hits followed, most notably Cindy’s Birthday in 1962. Jewry even featured in the Billy Fury vehicle Play It Cool that year, but soon after, the group split.

Jewry spent his years out of the spotlight in music management, and performed at small venues alongside his first wife Iris Caldwell (sister of Rory Storm). In the meantime, Shelley had worked his way into the music industry in the mid-60s, working under EMI producer Norman Newell. He became a talent scout for Decca Records, discovering number 1 artists Amen Corner, among others. In 1973 he co-founded Magnet Records with Michael Levy, and the first release on the label was My Coo Ca Choo, written, produced and performed by Shelley under the alias Alvin Stardust. Not the most original moniker considering David Bowie was still using Ziggy Stardust as a name in 1973. But then, Shelley wasn’t expecting a hit when he appeared on children’s TV show Lift Off with Ayshea under that name.

My Coo Ca Choo, stormed the charts, leaving Shelley with a conundrum as he had no desire to continue performing, but didn’t want to be a one-hit wonder either. Jewry’s manager suggested him and for the second time, he stepped into an alias, only this time he was more successful.

Bowie said that Ziggy was based on 50s rock’n’roller Vince Taylor, and Jewry’s look as Alvin Stardust was an even more overt tribute, with his huge quiff, sideburns and black leather outfit. And the black gloves topped things off nicely, creating a pretty menacing figure. The new Stardust’s first appearance on Top of the Pops, miming to My Coo Ca Choo, caused quite a stir, actually scaring some children at the time, and I have to confess I found it a little unnerving in my teens when I first saw him via a UK Gold repeat. That might sound ridiculous now, but seeing a lone figure hovering in front of some lights, stood stock still and staring down the lens, holding the mic in an unusual way, looked quite menacing. It did the job anyway, and Stardust’s debut went to number two.

Unfortunately, despite second single Jealous Mind getting the all-important top spot, it’s not half as memorable as My Coo Ca Choo and is barely remembered these days. I’d guess that Shelley quickly knocked this off to capitalise on the momentum, in the hope that more of the same would suffice, which it did, but only for a week in 1974.

It’s very similar, plundering that same 50s greaseball-meets-Norman Greenbaum guitar sound, but it’s rather lacklustre. Stardust does a decent job of sounding like Shelley on the chorus (and Buddy Holly with the vocal tics) but sounds different on the verses, making it uneven. But not half as uneven as the guitar track, which is all over the place! I’m not sure if it’s Shelley performing it, but I kind of admire the fact it’s doing its own thing in a way. It’s not enough to save the track though. Which is a shame, as I’ve a soft spot for Stardust.

His hits continued for a while, particularly throughout 1974 with Red Dress and You You You in the top 10, but Good Love Can Never Die (1975) was his last top 20 hit for six years.

Stardust had come along at the tail end of glam, and wasn’t able to adapt quick enough. He did however feature in a famous public information film for the Green Cross Code campaign ‘Children’s Heroes’ in 1976. Stardust’s is the most memorable, due to him pointing menacingly at the naughty children with his one black glove, and incredulously exclaiming ‘you must be out of your tiny minds!’. Watch here, and enjoy.

Stardust had a successful comeback in 1981 with a cover of Pretend, previously a number two hit for Nat ‘King’ Cole in 1953. It was Stardust’s first release on hip indie label Stiff Records, and I can still remember the sleeve for this peering out of my big brother’s record box. The rest of his Stiff releases did indeed stiff, but he was back in the top 10 via Chrysalis with I Feel Like Buddy Holly and I Won’t Run Away in 1984. He attempted to enter Eurovision in 1985 but came third in A Song For Europe with The Clock on the Wall.

It was around this time Stardust moved into the acting game, with a lead role in the Lloyd Webber–Rice musical Cricket in 1986. Other similar roles came in Godspell, David Copperfield – The Musical and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. In 1989 he presented his very own Sunday morning children’s series on ITV, It’s Stardust. In 1995, Stardust had a regular role in Channel 4 soap opera Hollyoaks. His second marriage, to actress Liza Goddard, came to an end after he converted to Christianity, and he remarried again, with actress Julie Paton. Adam, a son from his first marriage, became drum’n’bass DJ Adam F in the 90s.

In 2010, Stardust released I Love Rock’n’Roll, an album featuring new recordings of his old hits. Four years later he was weeks away from releasing a brand new album, Alvin, when he died on 23 October from prostate cancer, aged 72.

Written & produced by: Peter Shelley

Weeks at number 1: 1 (9-15 March)

Meanwhile…

10 March: 10 miners are killed in a methane gas explosion at Golborne Colliery near Wigan, Lancashire.

11 March: Convicted armed robbers Kenneth Littlejohn and brother Keith, who claim to be British spies in the Republic of Ireland, escape from Dublin’s Mountjoy Prison.  

15 March: Architect John Poulson, embroiled in a major political bribery scandal in 1972, is jailed for five years for corruption.

344. Suzi Quatro – Devil Gate Drive (1974)

1973 had been a great year for the songwriting/production duo ‘Chinnichap’, but 1974 was even better. Tiger Feet became the year’s biggest-selling single, then after four weeks it was usurped by another Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman single. US singer and bassist Suzi Quatro was back at the top of the charts with another glam-pop-rock showcase for her skills. And there was certainly more stability in the charts than there was in Downing Street (see ‘Meanwhile…’).

Quatro had remained a presence in the UK charts since her first number 1, Can the Can, a year previous. 48 Crash, the opening song on her eponymous debut album, climbed to number three, and Daytona Demon, a standalone single, number 14. She also played on Cozy Powell’s Dance With the Devil, a number three hit in January 1974, written by their record label owner Mickie Most of Rak Records. Devil Gate Drive was the first fruits of her second album Quatro, although it didn’t appear on that LP’s original UK tracklisting. Like Can the Can, it featured Len Tuckey on guitar (he and Quatro were married between 1976 and 1992) and Alastair McKenzie on keyboards, but Dave Neal replaced Keith Hodge on drums.

Devil Gate Drive is Quatro’s most famous song, very similar in style to Can the Can, but more pop-friendly. It’s more overtly indebted to rock’n’roll – Chinnichap’s favourite era, clearly. The Devil Gate Drive in question seems to be the actual gates to hell, and Quatro points out how humans start sinning as young as the age of five. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this is an insightful look at the human condition, but it’s cleverer than it appears, as Quatro knows that sinning can make us ‘come alive’. Quatro, you leather catsuit-wearing temptress. It makes a very nice change to hear her imploring everyone to get behind her, and hearing a load of burly male voices shouting back, rather than the screaming girls you’d have heard in pop most of the time. There’s some nice piano work from McKenzie too. It’s no Tiger Feet, but not bad at all.

A couple more hits followed for Quatro in 1974 – Too Big reached number 14 and The Wild One went to number seven, and then the law of diminishing returns began to apply. Critics of Quatro argue she was a mere novelty rather than a female role model, and was given substandard material by Chinnichap all along and her own material wasn’t good enough either. However in 1977 she not only had her first top 30 hit in three years with Tear Me Apart, she finally got noticed in the US thanks to her role as Leather Tuscadero in hugely popular nostalgic sitcom Happy Days. She appeared several times and was even offered a spin-off, such was the popularity of her character, but Quatro declined for fear of being typecast. The following year, If You Can’t Give Me Love showcased a more mellow sound and was her biggest hit since Devil Gate Drive (number four), and She’s In Love With You reached number 11 in 1979.

In 1980 Quatro’s contract with Most expired and she moved to Chapman’s Dreamland Records, but it marked a decline in her fortunes. It folded a year later, and she was without a label.

For much of the 80s Quatro could be found in more acting roles as well as releasing music. She starred in ITV comedy drama Minder in 1982, and crime drama Dempsey and Makepeace in 1985. The following year she featured alongside Bronski Beat and members of The Kinks on a cover of David Bowie’s “Heroes” for the BBC’s Children In Need. Then in 1987 she (sort of) returned to number 1 thanks to her appearance on the Ferry Aid cover of The Beatles’ Let It Be, which raised money for the charity set up in the aftermath of the Zeebrugge ferry disaster.

Since then, Quatro has continued to release albums, which continue to sell to the fans who grew up in those heady glam rock days. Back to the Drive in 2006 saw her return to her heavier rock roots, and was her first charting album since Rock Hard in 1980. Andy Scott from The Sweet was the producer, and the title track was written by Chapman. Her autobiography, Unzipped, was released in 2007, and the most recent Quatro album, No Control, was released in 2019.

Written & produced by: Nicky Chinn & Mike Chapman

Weeks at number 1: 2 (23 February-8 March)

Deaths:

Radio sports commentator Raymond Glendenning – 23 February

Meanwhile…

27 February: As the country went to the polls, controversial Conservative MP Enoch Powell announced his resignation from the party in protest against Edward Heath’s decision to take Britain into the EEC.

28 February: Heath’s plan backfired badly. The General Election results in the first hung parliament since 1929. The Tory government held 297 seats, Labour, 301, and the largest number of votes. Heath made plans to form a coalition with Jeremy Thorpe’s Liberal Party in order to cling on to power.

4 March: Heath failed to convince the Liberals to form a coalition and therefore announced his resignation as Prime Minister, paving the way for Harold Wilson to become Prime Minister for the second time with Labour forming a minority government.[5]

6 March: An improved pay offer by the new Labour government results in the end of the latest miners’ strike.

7 March: The Three-Day Week came to an end. For now, with Labour back in power, things began to stabilise and improve with the unions.

343. Mud – Tiger Feet (1974)

Early 1974 was peak ‘Chinnichap’, with the writers/producers responsible for two number 1s in a row. This first one took Mud out of the minor leagues and made them one of the biggest names in glam rock. And rightly so, because Tiger Feet is a classic pop anthem and one of my favourite number 1s of the 70s. If you don’t love Tiger Feet, you are dead already.

The origins of the Surrey quartet begin with singer Thomas Leslie ‘Les’ Gray, born in Carshalton on 9 April 1946. Gray was a self-taught musician who originally played trumpet in a jazz band while still at school, before forming a skiffle group called The Mourners. When he left education he wrote commercials for cinema advertising legends Pearl & Dean, and then worked for Moss Bros.

By 1966, The Mourners featured guitarist Rob Davis, who had joined with drummer Dave Mounts, his companion in several previous bands. Along with bassist Ray Stiles, they became Mud that February. The following year they released their debut single on CBS Records, the very 1967-sounding Flower Power. It failed to make an impression, and nor did their next few singles, released on Phillips, over the next three years.

With psychedelia largely over, Mud were sinking (sorry) until they met impresario Mickie Most, whose Rak Records were fast becoming the hippest label around when they joined. Much like The Sweet before them, as soon as they began working with their new writers and producers Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman (despite being on different labels), things swiftly improved.

In 1973 they scored three top 20 singles – Crazy (number 12), Hypnosis (number 16) and best of the three, Dyna-Mite, which climbed to number four. With the Chinnichap template of pop-rock, Gray’s sideburns and deep Elvis-style vocal and Davis’s increasingly outlandish get-up, Mud became a fully fledged glam band with this single, which had originally been rejected by labelmates The Sweet. And then came Tiger Feet.

But what the hell is it actually about, if anything? Much like Can the Can, it’s likely they just stumbled upon a phrase they liked and worked it into a song. Clearly, in general though, Tiger Feet is a come-on to some ‘dance hall cutie’, and Gray sees her as a kind-of sexual predator in the way she cuts a rug (I’m lost at ‘tiger lights’ though). Which is ironic, considering the dance that Mud and their crew made up to this song – which may be the least sexy ever witnessed in pop.

It may look ridiculous, but let me say in all seriousness that watching Mud performing the Tiger Feet dance is for me one of the most uplifting moments in pop music. It encapsulates the power of pop, and glam in particular, to make grown men act and look as stupid as possible, with all worries abandoned, totally lost in the moment. At the music night I used to DJ at with friends, I would, without shame, perform said dance time and time again, and I am proud of the fact. Everyone should try it.

So, yes, I am a huge fan of Mud’s first number 1. Ignore the words and any notion of being cool and feel the rip-roaring, childlike glee running wild throughout, from the manic rhythm guitar at the start to the ‘t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tiger feet’ at the song’s fade. It’s very difficult to analyse something so stupid and brilliant too much, so just enjoy it. Just like Slade, Mud gave the country some much-needed light relief in particularly trying times. This is 70s pop at its best.

Written & produced by: Nicky Chinn & Mike Chapman

Weeks at number 1: 4 (26 January-22 February) *BEST-SELLING SINGLE OF THE YEAR*

Births:

Actor Christian Bale – 30 January
Murderer Ian Huntley – 31 January
Sports presenter Ed Chamberlin – 6 February
Footballer Nick Barmby – 11 February
Singer Robbie Williams – 13 February
Singer-songwriter James Blunt – 22 February
Radio DJ Chris Moyles – 22 February

Deaths:

Novelist HE Bates – 29 January

Meanwhile…

4 February: One of the Provisional IRA’s most shocking attacks took place when 11 people, three of whom were civilians, were killed in the M62 coach bombing. 

7 February: In the midst of the Three-Day Week, Prime Minister Edward Heath, called a General Election for 28 February, asking who governed, he or the unions. During the campaign, the Labour Party and Trades Union Congress agreed a ‘Social Contract’ intended to produce wage restraint. 
Also this day, Grenada became independent of the UK.

8 February: The death toll from the M62 coach bombing reaches 12 with the death in hospital of a seriously injured 18-year-old soldier.

12 February: BBC One first aired the classic children’s series Bagpuss, made by Peter Firmin and Oliver Postgate’s Smallfilms in stop-motion animation. 

14 February: Birmingham City centre forward Bob Latchford becomes Britain’s most expensive footballer in a £350,000 move to Everton. 
Also this day, opinion polls showed the Conservative government in the lead for the forthcoming election.

340. Gary Glitter – I Love You Love Me Love (1973)

70s glam rock star and secret monstrous paedophile Gary Glitter slowed things down on this second of three number 1s. Like his first, I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am!), I Love You Love Me Love was one of his most famous anthems.

Weirdly, this track was produced in mono. As Mike Leander died in 1996, we’ll never know if he knew of Glitter’s misdemeanours. Let’s hope not, and if he didn’t, be glad he died before having to have a large part of his production legacy tarnished. Of course Leander worked with other artists than Glitter, and most famously was called up by The Beatles to work on She’s Leaving Home when George Martin was unavailable, and a great job he did, too.

I’m procrastinating to avoid the awkwardness of reviewing another song by this bastard. Sad fact is, it didn’t upset me to hear it as much as his first number 1. Perhaps because it wasn’t so self-referential and you could imagine someone else covering it (yeah, right). It’s a swaying, drunken, stupid lurch of a love song, with a really catchy chorus.

Glitter and his girl (possibly literally in his case unfortunately) have stood by each other through thick and thin, and this is his boastful review of what they’ve had to contend with. As usual though, it’s actually all about Glitter, because despite everyone disliking his hair (wigs) and clothes (well, they were stupid), he was ‘strong enough for two’.

It works as a ‘lighters aloft’ style of song, with Glitter’s ‘gang’ projecting their love on their idol, who gives it right back at them. Especially anyone who looks under 16, no doubt. Ah well, only one more by this wretched human to cover.

Written by: Gary Glitter & Mike Leander

Producer: Mike Leander

Weeks at number 1: 4 (17 November-14 December)

Births:

Footballer Ryan Giggs – 29 November

Deaths:

Aircraft engine designer Sir Roy Fedden – 21 November
Scottish inventor Sir Robert Watson-Watt – 5 December
Crime fiction writer Anthony Gilbert (Lucy Beatrice Malleson) – 9 December
Novelist Henry Green – 13 December

Meanwhile…

26 November: The OPEC oil crisis in the Middle East caused Peter Walker, the Secretary for Trade and Industry, to warn that petrol rationing may have to be introduced in the near future. Britain’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia commented at the time that the oil price rise represented ‘perhaps the most rapid shift in economic power that the world has ever seen’. It’s a shift the UK has never recovered from.

5 December – The speed limit on motorways was reduced from 70mph to 50 mph until further notice.

9 December: The Sunningdale Agreement was signed in Sunningdale, Berkshire by Prime Minister Edward Heath, Irish premier Liam Cosgrave and representatives of the Ulster Unionist party, the Social Democratic and Labour Party and the Alliance Party of Northern Ireland. It was an attempt to establish power sharing in Northern Ireland and a cross-border Council of Ireland, but it collapsed in May 1974.

339. David Cassidy – Daydreamer/The Puppy Song (1973)

David Cassidy continued his existential battle to be loved for his music rather than his looks throughout 1972 and 1973. After his first number 1 How Can I Be Sure, the star of The Partridge Family had further hits with the title track to Rock Me Baby and I Am a Clown, which was lifted from his debut LP Cherish.

There were also more albums by The Partridge Family, Cassidy’s fictional TV brethren, on which he had made his name and would have rather been rid of by this point. In October 1973 their final album, Bulletin Board was released, alongside Cassidy’s third solo effort, Dreams are Nuthin’ More than Wishes. To get the point across that he was in charge of his own music, he wrote notes for his reasons for choosing each song. This second number 1 release was a double A-side of tracks from the album.

Daydreamer was written by South African professional songwriter Terry Dempsey, who had written for many big names including Cliff Richard and The New Seekers. In 2910, Dempsey was killed in a bizarre accident when he was struck by the blades of a gyrocscope making an emergency landing during a ceremony in which the family were scattering ashes.

Cassidy stars as a heartbroken loner, walking round in the rain, chasing rainbows in which he may find someone new. Nice, clever wordplay there. It’s reminiscent of 1956 Christmas number 1 Just Walkin’ in the Rain by Johnnie Ray, not just due to the obvious mention of rain, but in the sense there’s a melancholy that’s quite comforting at play, that he’s actually kind of happy being on his own and wallowing in misery.

Unfortunately, as with How Can I Be Sure, I can’t enjoy Cassidy’s voice. For someone so determined to be admired for his ability, his singing is so affected, it doesn’t do a lot for me. Once again though, I’d take this over any of Donny Osmond’s number 1s.

The Puppy Song was penned by Harry Nilsson of Without You fame, and had featured on his album Harry, released in 1969. He had written it on request from Paul McCartney for Mary Hopkin’s debut album Post Card, which also included her number 1 from 1968, Those Were the Days.

More light-hearted than the flip side, the two songs complement each other well, with Cassidy’s daydreams moving on to thoughts of owning a dog, to replace the hole left by his love. The second verse comes from the viewpoint of a puppy daydreaming about having a friend to hang around with it. It’s a very ‘Nilsson’ kind of song, with a music-hall feel like a lot of his late-60s work, and an interesting departure for a teen idol, but again, I couldn’t warm to it too much. However, I do like the opening lines, which were paraphrased and became the title of Cassidy’s album.

Cassidy remained a familiar presence in the UK charts over the next few years, with hits like If I Didn’t Care and a cover of The Beatles’ Please Please Me in 1974. However, that same year, he was performing at London’s White City Stadium when nearly 800 people were injured in a crush at the front of the stage. 30 fans were taken to hospital, and 14-year-old Bernadette Whelan died four days after her injuries. Cassidy was devastated.

In 1975, Cassidy was free of The Partridge Family, and was the first person to have a hit with I Write the Songs, later to be Barry Manilow’s signature tune. But the follow-up, Darlin’ was his final top 20 entry for 10 years. In 1978 he was nominated for an Emmy Award for a role in Police Story, and he starred in David Cassidy: Man Undercover in 1979 but it was cancelled after one season.

The early-80s saw Cassidy performing in musical theatre, including Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and Blood Brothers. He returned to the charts in 1985 with The Last Kiss. It featured backing vocals from George Michael. Another teen idol with ambitions to be recognised for his ability over his looks, Michael cited Cassidy as an influence, and the duo no doubt had much in common. It was his last UK single of note though, despite occasional chart action in the US.

Cassidy struggled over the years with his public image, and claimed the death of Whelan would haunt him all his life. He was arrested several times in later years for drink-driving incidents. Former Page 3 model Samantha Fox claimed on a 2017 Channel 4 documentary that he sexually assaulted her in 1985.

In 2008 he went public with his alcohol problem. Then in February 2017 he struggled to remember lyrics while performing, and fell off the stage. Despite assumptions he had been drinking, Cassidy announced he had Alzheimer’s and retired soon after. That November Cassidy was hospitalised with liver and kidney failure. He was induced into a coma, and although he came out of it, doctors failed to find him a liver transplant in time, and he died of liver failure on 21 November, aged 67. It was revealed after he died that he hadn’t had Alzheimer’s.

Written by:
Daydreamer: Terry Dempsey/The Puppy Song: Harry Nilsson

Producer: Rick Jarrard

Weeks at number 1: 3 (27 October-16 November)

Deaths:

BBC Controller Gerald Cock – 10 November

Meanwhile…

31 Octobe: The sixth series of much-loved BBC One sitcom Dad’s Army opened with the episode ‘The Deadly Attachment’. It’s the one featuring the line ‘Don’t tell them, Pike!’

8 November: The second Cod War between Britain and Iceland came to an end.

12 November: Miners began an overtime ban, while ambulance drivers started selective strikes.
Also this day, long-running BBC One sitcom Last of the Summer Wine began its first series run, following a premiere in the Comedy Playhouse on 4 January. Roy Clarke’s whimsical comedy set in rural Yorkshire would run for 31 series spanning 37 years.

14 November: Eight members of the Provisional IRA were convicted of the March bombings in London.
Also, The Princess Royal married Captain Mark Phillips at Westminster Abbey.

338. The Simon Park Orchestra – Eye Level (Theme from the Thames T.V. Series ‘Van der Valk’) (1973)

1973 wasn’t quite as weird as 1972 when it came to its number 1s. Few years are. But this piece of instrumental library music picked for crime drama series Van der Valk did enjoy a month at the top of the charts in the autumn and is remembered as one of the most popular TV themes of the 70s. It also led to the bizarre sight of an orchestra on Top of the Pops.

If you delve deep, library music, especially of the 60s and 70 and early 80s, can be a treasure trove of fascinating music, where composers would record stock music to be used on film, TV and radio. They were often given free rein to use (then) cutting-edge instruments, which give such pieces a charm of an imagined future that never happened. Think hauntology, but more upbeat, usually.

This number 1 was originally written by Dutch composer Jan Stoeckart for the De Wolfe Music Library, based in the UK and the oldest of its kind. Stoeckart had worked for De Wolfe since the 60s and over the years composed somewhere around 1,300 pieces for the library under a variety of pseudonyms. He came up with Eye Level, then known as Amsterdam, in the early-70s and used the name Jack Trombey. It was loosely based on an 18th-century poem known as Catootje in Dutch, which used the opening bars of Non più andrai from Mozart’s Le Nozze di Figaro.

Thames Television picked the piece for their new series Van der Valk, which first aired in 1972. It was based on the novels by Nicolas Freeling about Commissaris Simon ‘Piet’ Van der Valk, a cynical detective in Amsterdam, played by Barry Foster. With Britain set to enter the EEC in 1973, it was the perfect time for such a series, and was filmed in the Netherlands. It was renamed Eye Level to refer to the ever-present horizon in the Low Countries, which is always at eye level.

Simon Park, leader of the orchestra that performed the theme, was born in March 1946. Raised in Market Harborough, he began playing the piano aged only five. He gained a Bachelor of Arts in music at Worcester College, Oxford.

So, an unusual number 1 indeed. I think it’s the first time library music had been in pole position, and the first example of a TV theme gaining that spot. Russ Conway’s Side Saddle in 1959 was from a TV show, but that was incidental music. But while it’s certainly a strange sight to see a group of middle-aged men on Top of the Pops at the height of glam rock, I’m all for it. It’s a prime example of the eccentric tastes of the Great British Public and it’s a nice piece of music, that really lodges in your brain. I first became aware of it in 1991, aged 12, when ITV brought the series back, and have never forgotten it. It has of course been used elsewhere since.

I’m not sure it’s a great theme for Van der Valk though. I’ve never watched it, but from clips and research, it’s pretty dark and gritty, and Eye Level isn’t. It sounds more like the theme to a gardening series or comedy drama. it’s bright, breezy, jaunty and uplifting, and so I think it became a number 1 because of the disparity rather than in spite of it. Fans of the show would have bought it, but you’d also have had older music fans purchasing it too, just for its pleasantness and anything to get that awful noisy rock music off Top of the Pops.

Despite what I said about the novelty of seeing this on the BBC’s flagship music show earlier though, I soon became bored while watching repeats of seeing these men parping away, and not for the first time, found myself wondering how something so out of place stayed at number 1 for quite as long as it did. But that’s novelties for you.

Columbia Records cashed in on the success of The Simon Park Orchestra, releasing two albums of their work, Something in the Air (1974) and Venus Fly Trap (1975). Park also made the music for ITV war drama Danger UXB in 1979. He went on to compose for films, notably Nutcracker (1982) and Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998).

Van der Valk was revived in April this year, with Marc Warren as the detective. Fans of the original were apparently in uproar over the fact Eye Level wasn’t used as its theme, with just a slight nod to it instead. Considering there was a worldwide pandemic lockdown also going on, any uproar seems a little unjustified. It didn’t really work as the theme in 1973, it’s not going to work in a world as depressing as the post-Brexit, COVID-19-ridden Earth in 2020, is it?

Written by: Jack Trombey

Producer: Simon Park

Weeks at number 1: 4 (29 September-26 October)

Births:

Presenter Beverley Turner – 21 October

Deaths:

Poet WH Auden – 29 September
Conservative MP Walter Montagu Douglas Scott, 8th Duke of Buccleuch – 4 October
Actress Hilda Plowright – 9 October

Meanwhile…

8 October: London Broadcasting Company, Britain’s first legal commercial independent local radio station, starts broadcasting.

16 October: The thriller Don’t Look Now is released in a double bill with horror The Wicker Man.

20 October: The Dalai Lama makes his first visit to the UK.

26 October: Firefighters in Glasgow stage a one-day strike as part of a pay dispute, leading to troops being drafted in to run the fire stations.

337. Wizzard – Angel Fingers (A Teen Ballad) (1973)

Glam rock’s debt to rock’n’roll continued apace in the autumn of 1973, as Wizzard enjoyed their second number 1 within months with Roy Wood’s lesser-known paen to his 50s youth with Angel Fingers (A Teen Ballad).

I mentioned in my blog for See My Baby Jive that Wizzard’s debut album, Wizzard Brew, wasn’t anything like their singles. Released just before that single, it wasn’t very much like anything before or since. A lo-fi kaleidoscopic trawl through psychedelia, blues, rock, brass, metal, it’s a much underrated piece of work and I urge you to find it.

Inbetween Wizzard’s two number 1s, Wood also released solo album Boulders. Recorded between 1969-71, he wrote every song, played every instrument and drew the artwork. This is also considered a lost classic.

Although all Wizzard’s singles harked back to the 50s, Angel Fingers (A Teen Ballad) is Wood’s most overt tribute. The clue, not that you need one here, is in the bracketed part of the title. The lyrics are full of romantic 50s teen imagery, including Wood driving a motorbike to a cafe, a Dion poster on his girlfriends’s wall, a record playing… It’s as if Bruce Springsteen grew up in Birmingham in the 50s.

Angel Fingers (A Teen Ballad) may not be as instant as See My Baby Jive or I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday, but it’s a lovely track with a real yearning quality, as Wood strives to capture the feeling of young love, rock’n’roll and those magical teenage years. It’s also slightly less cluttered, which gives the poignancy more of a chance to shine through. Spector would be impressed. Or would have threatened to shoot him, depending on how much cocaine he had in his system.

And then came I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday. One of the best festive songs of all time, Wood took See My Baby Jive and added extra tinsel, in yet another tribute to Spector’s Wall of Sound. Unfortunately for Wood, it was up against one of the other greatest yuletide anthems, and Wizzard lost out to Slade. Incredibly, it wasn’t even number two in the top 10 that Christmas, lagging behind Gary Glitter and The New Seekers. This is very, very wrong.

It’s worth noting that nobody hears the 1973 version of I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday anymore. It doesn’t exist. In 1981, EMI contacted Wood to say they wanted to give the single another crack at the Christmas charts, but they couldn’t find the master tapes. They were never found, and Wood had to re-record the song in a week with Muff Murfin producing. Murfin recalled Wood painstakingly recreated the original, and played every single instrument. The original choristers, from Stockland Green Bilateral School in Birmingham, were replaced by pupils at Kempsey Primary School. So the only way to hear the original is if you have a copy of the original 1973 vinyl. And if the versions on YouTube that are 1973 versions are real, there is no discernible difference. Which makes Wood’s remake an amazing feat, really.

1973 was intense for Wood, and it took its toll the following year. Several live dates were cancelled and the single Rock’n’Roll Winter (Looney’s Tune) was delayed until the spring. Second album Introducing Eddy and the Falcons was another tribute to the 50s, a concept album about a fictional band, inspired, no doubt by The Beatles. It was supposed to be a double LP, with the second half an experimental jazz-rock collection, but this material didn’t see the light of day until 2000’s Main Street.

The early momentum of Wizzard soon dissipated. Wood struggled to afford such a large line-up and ran up huge studio costs. Bassist Rick Price once recalled a rumour that the group spent more time recording their last number 1 than Paul McCartney & Wings spent on the whole of the Band On the Run album. Cellist Hugh McDowell departed in 1973 to return to the Electric Light Orchestra, and keyboardist Bill Hunt left a year later. In 1975, Wood split Wizzard up. Farewell single Rattlesnake Roll failed to chart.

Saxophonist Mike Burney went on to work with The Syd Lawrence Orchestra and The Old Horns Band, which was a joint venture with other former Wizzard members. He was also a session player for a wide variety of stars including Chaka Khan, The Beach Boys and Cliff Richard. Burney died in 2014. After ELO, McDowell joined new wave group Radio Stars and featured on albums by Saint Etienne and Asia. He died in 2018.

Price joined Wood in his short-lived project Wizzo Band after Wizzard, a jazz-rock project that was ill-received critically and commercially, with only one album, Super Active Wizzo in 1977. They split the following year. He married Diane Lee of Peters and Lee in the 90s, and they tour performing hits and new material. He’s also a member of The Rockin’ Berries.

Wood released a second solo LP, Mustard, in 1975, which featured Phil Everly. It wasn’t as successful as his first however, and his third, On the Road Again, didn’t even get a UK release in 1979. After The Wizzo Band’s demise he largely disappeared from the public eye. He led Roy Wood’s Helicopters between 1980 and 1982, and the following year recorded with Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy and Chas Hodges as The Rockers. 1986 saw him record the ABBA song Waterloo with Doctor and the Medics. In 1987 came another solo album, Starting Up, and then another group, Roy Wood’s Army. Two years later he recorded with his former ELO bandmate Jeff Lynne, but the songs never saw the light of day.

Like Slade, Wood will always be associated with Christmas, and it helps that he looks rather like Santa Claus. There was a remake of I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday in 1995, credited to Roy Wood’s Big Band. Weirdly, he and Mike Batt’s The Wombles teamed up in 2000 for an ill-advised mash-up called I Wish It Could Be A Wombling Merry Christmas Everyday. It was awful. Seven years later, thanks to his appearance in an Argos Christmas advert, it reached number 16. In 2010, Wood featured in a cameo on the Christmas special of ITV comedy drama Benidorm.

Wood’s most recent troupe of musicians call themselves The Roy Wood Rock & Roll Band. In 2018 they made the news when their touring equipment was stolen in a ram-raid on a warehouse in Leeds, but it was later recovered. Sadly, it transpired that he was a hardcore Brexiter. So much so, he joined The Brexit Party in 2019. Ah well, everyone has their flaws, even a musical genius.

It’s a shame Wood is only remembered for one song, even if it is a bona fide classic. From his days in The Move, to forming ELO, to Wizzard, Wood was an eccentric musical magpie in the 60s and 70s, able to turn his hand to most forms of music, but always with an eye for a winning pop tune. Perhaps his unassuming nature and inherent shyness are further reasons he is underappreciated. He’s not bothered about reminding the world about his number 1s Blackberry Way, See My Baby Jive and Angel Fingers (A Teen Ballad) and his other classics like 10538 Overture, he’s content to show up from time to time at Christmas and then he’s gone again. I imagine it will sadly take his death before his resume is reappraised, but until then, the UK remains grateful at least that Wizzard kept the UK smiling during The Troubles and the Three-Day Week.

Written & produced by: Roy Wood

Vocal backing: The Suedettes & The Bleach Boys

Weeks at number 1: 1 (22-28 September)

Deaths:

Peeress Barbara Freyberg, Baroness Freyberg – 24 September
Labour Party MP George Porter – 25 September

335. Gary Glitter – I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am!) (1973)

I’ve been dreading this ever since I started this blog. How to review the music of one of the, if not the first pop star to be effectively erased from modern times. Gary Glitter was one of the most popular glam rockers of the 70s, and through several comebacks in the 80s or 90s, was a national treasure (and yes, I thought he was great), until his ill-fated trip to PC World and the discovery of child pornography on his computer in 1997. He’s now rightly a figure of hate. At best, he’s ammunition for cheap jokes. His music is rarely heard anywhere, and made the headlines recently for its use in the Todd Haynes’ acclaimed Joker (2019). In the world of cancelled culture, musicians have mostly escaped unscathed. I’ve already reviewed number 1s by the likes of Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry. But Glitter is another matter.

Paul Francis Gadd was born 8 May 1944 in Banbury, Oxfordshire. His mother, a cleaner, raised him with the help of her mother. He never knew his father. Gadd was a troublesome child, and he was 10 when he and his brother were taken into local authority care. He would frequently run away and head for London, and he became determined he would one day be a star there.

In 1960, aged 15, Gadd released his first record with Decca Records under the name Paul Raven, Alone in the Night. It got him nowhere, but he did well performing in nightclubs in and around Soho. A year later, Raven signed with Parlophone and worked with future Beatles producer George Martin. A further two singles, Walk On Boy and Tower of Strength (a number 1 for Frankie Vaughan that year) also tanked.

Fast-forward to 1964 and Raven was struggling, serving as the warm-up man on ITV’s Ready Steady Go!. He was also wearing a wig, as he had gone bald at 18. Raven starred in TV adverts and auditioned for films, and around this time he first met producer Mike Leander. In early 1965 he joined The Mike Leander Show Band, and soon was helping as a deputy on some of Leander’s production sessions. When the band split, Raven helped form Boston International and toured the UK and Germany. Several singles were also released, sometimes under the name Paul Monday, including a cover of Here Comes the Sun.

Raven must have felt fame would never be his, until he watched on from the sidelines as glam rock began to rise thanks to T. Rex. He searched for a new name. Working backward through the alphabet, he tried to find an alliterative name… Vicky Vomit, Terry Tinsel and Stanley Sparkle were among those considered, before he settled on Gary Glitter.

Glitter and Leander went into the studio and worked on a 15-minute jam session that was to finally catapult him into stardom. Splitting the jam into Rock and Roll, Parts 1 and 2 became Glitter’s first single release in 1972, reaching number two in the UK. With a stomping, deep beat, filthy guitar sound and echoey, double-tracked vocals to hide a poor singing voice, the trademark Glitter sound was there from the start. Rock and Roll, Part 1 paid tribute to the music of Glitter’s past, but Rock and Roll, Part 2 was most popular worldwide. It was instrumental, save for Glitter’s ‘Hey’. This was his only US hit and became used extensively in sport there, where it became known as ‘The Hey Song’. It was also the version in Joker, and in 1988, was reworked by Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond, aka, The KLF, aka in this instance The Timelords, as Doctorin’ the Tardis, where it shot to number 1 and gave Glitter his umpteenth comeback.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. With his flamboyant outfits, bouffant wigs and demented stare, Glitter became an instant glam icon, who loved to mythologise himself in a string of hit singles. After years of missing out, his simple, direct glam rock was a case of right place, right time. Debut album Glitter went top 10, and another track from it, I Didn’t Know I Loved You (Till I Saw You Rock and Roll) reached number four.

After the success of Rock and Roll, Parts 1 and 2, Glitter and Leander knew they would need a regular backing band for live shows. The Boston Showband became known as The Glittermen and soon after settled on The Glitter Band. The group consisted of John Rossall (trombone and musical director), Gerry Shephard (lead guitar and vocals), Pete Phipps (drums and keyboards), Tony Leonard (drums), John Springate (bass and vocals), and Harvey Ellison (saxophone).

In 1973, Glitter came ever closer to the top spot, with two singles from Touch Me, Do You Wanna Touch Me and Hello, Hello, I’m Back Again reaching number two. Rossall and Ellison took part in the sessions for Touch Me, but the rest of the instruments were once again Glitter and Leander. However, it seems more likely to have been purely Leander, as it was Glitter who claimed he helped, and who can believe a thing he says?).

I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am!) became the first of three number 1s for Glitter, and, until he was uncovered as a paedophile, one of his most enduring anthems and giving him the nickname ‘the Leader’.

So here I am listening to Gary Glitter songs in full for the first time in over 20 years. It’s a weird experience to say the least. When the Michael Jackson documentary Leaving Neverland was shown last year, I wondered if I could ever listen to his music again, but I have done, from time to time. When it came to listening to Glitter, I did it in an empty house, with earphones, with a sense of shame and a feeling of being complicit in something terrible.

And yet I had a strange feeling of nostalgia listening to I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am!). I loved it as a boy, the slow ‘Come on! Come on!’ stomp building in speed and power, and I also liked Glitter, despite being scared by his manic staring. I like Leander’s production on Glitter’s hits and it’s a shame his work has also been wiped from public consciousness – I don’t know if it’s the associations Glitter’s discography now has, but there’s an uneasy, eerie feeling to these songs… I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s a unique, exciting sound.

However, any sentiment I might have felt about this number 1 vanished after I heard Glitter laugh after singing ‘I’m the man who put the bang in gang!’. It disgusted me, brought me to my senses and also made me think I’ve found the reasons Glitter is reviled so much and his work will never be reappraised. Most of the lyrics at best sound seedy, at worst, boastful of his behaviour, like barely hidden clues, as if daring us to find him out. He’s never shown the remotest bit of remorse for his crimes. There’s footage of him on YouTube, leering and winking and mock-shushing people for hinting at his love of schoolchildren on This Is Your Life. He was a fake in his public and private life. A fat, bald pervert, pretending to be a children’s hero. His music would have to be incredible to make you forget all this and enjoy it at all. It isn’t.

Written by: Garry Glitter & Mike Leander

Producer: Mike Leander

Weeks at number 1: 4 (28 July-24 August)

Births:

Terrorist Richard Reid – 12 August
Northern Irish radio presenter Stephen Nolan – 20 August

Deaths:

Race car driver Roger Williamson – 29 July
Actor James Beck – 6 August
Motorcycle designer Edward Turner – 15 August
Labour Party MP George Benson – 17 August
Prime Minister of Northern Ireland Basil Brooke, 1st Viscount Brookeborough – 18 August

Meanwhile…

30 July: 18 coalminers were killed in the Markham Colliery disaster near stately, Derbyshire when the brake mechanism on their cage failed.
Also that day, £20,000,000 was paid to victims of the Thalidomide scandal following a court case that had run for 11 years.

31 July: Militant protesters of Ian Paisley disrupted the first sitting of the Northern Ireland Assembly.

8 August: Stoke City and England goalkeeper Gordon Banks announced his retirement from football. He had lost sight in one eye in a car crash in October 1972.

20 August: Len Shipman, president of the Football League, called for the government to bring back the birch to deal with the rise of football hooligans.

21 August: The coroner in the inquest into Bloody Sunday accused the British army of ‘sheer unadulterated murder’ following the jury’s open verdict.