Mike Curb

355. The Osmonds (Arranged by HB Barnum) – Love Me for a Reason (1974)

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The Intro

With three number 1s from Donny Osmond and a Christmas chart-topper from Little Jimmy Osmond, this blog has been no stranger to the 70s musical Mormon family phenomenon. But The Osmonds, the group that started it all, only scored one number 1. It is the best of (a poor) bunch, though.

Before

The story of their beginnings in showbiz was covered in my blog on Puppy Love. Alan, Wayne, Merril and Jay started out as a barbershop quartet before finding fame on The Andy Williams Show. Donny soon joined them, and occasionally sister Marie and their little brother Jimmy would make appearances too. Producer Mike Curb got the quintet a contract with MGM Records and they had a US number 1, One Bad Apple, in 1971.

A formula was soon established where Merril would sing lead and Donny would perform the hook or chorus of their singles, which included Double Lovin’ and Yo-Yo. Oldest brother Virl taught the group how to dance, as he could only hear 15% of what most people can hear – just enough to follow a rhythm.

Donny’s solo career took off, but the other four would perform on his material too. 1972 was a big year for The Osmonds, with an animated TV series and group and solo hits. They began to tire of the clean pop sound, and the album Phase III moved them closer to rock. But not as much as the follow-up, Crazy Horses, featuring as its title track a surprisingly heavy rocker about the environment that remains brilliant. The Osmonds wrote all the songs here and even played all the instruments, with Alan on rhythm guitar, Wayne on lead guitar, Merril on bass, Jay on drums and Donny on keyboards. It took Crazy Horses for The Osmonds to score a hit in the UK (number two), despite Donny’s popularity.

In 1973 The Osmonds took the bold move of releasing a concept album about their Mormon faith. Despite the unusual subject matter, the hits continued, with Goin’ Home and Let Me In reaching two and four respectively. By this time, Little Jimmy had scored a Christmas number 1 and their sister Marie was also releasing material along with duets with Donny. The Osmonds were getting older, spreading themselves thin and beginning to get on people’s nerves, but their biggest hit was right around the corner.

The ballad Love Me for a Reason was originally released by its co-writer, former Motown songwriter Johnny Bristol, without much fanfare. However, he was on the same label as The Osmonds, and their management thought it would be a good fit. It became the title track of their sixth LP.

Review

This is normally the kind of sentimental ballad I’d run a mile from, and yet, I quite like Love Me for a Reason, and have done since my first exposure to it when Boyzone took their version to number two in 1994. Sure it’s soppy and slushy, and a bit righteous. No doubt the message of ‘only have sex if its true love’ worked nicely with The Osmonds, and with a boyband as wet as Boyzone (I’ve never been able to stand any song they released from then on), but the tune is pretty nice, and Mike Curbs’ production makes it superior to the 90s version, with some guitar touches here and there making it almost a country song. The highlight of both versions is when a bit of passion breaks through on ‘My initial reaction is honey give me love/Not a facsimile of’. Ok, it’s not Robert Plant screaming ‘I’m gonna give you every inch of my love’ but there’s a time and place for everything and if you ever need a squeaky-clean love song, this does the job.

After

Only one more big hit followed for The Osmonds over here – the title track to their next album, The Proud One in 1975 (the album was called I’m Still Gonna Need You on these shores), reaching number five. By then, the Bay City Rollers were the UK’s biggest teen idols, and The Osmonds seemed stale. There never seemed to be any tensions or inner jealousy in the family, and the older brothers became happy to go behind the scenes and produce The Donny & Marie Show from 1976 to 1979. When the show ended, the brothers were in debt and needed a new direction. They switched record labels to Mercury and made an album with Maurice Gibb. Although The Bee Gees were still huge, the LP bombed.

Alan, Wayne, Merrill and Jay returned to performing as The Osmond Brothers, as they had when starting out, and had a few country chart hits in the US in the early-80s, but their refusal to tour didn’t help their careers. The eldest singing Osmond, Alan, was diagnosed as having multiple sclerosis in 1987, and his performances understandably became even more sporadic. 10 years later, Wayne found out he had a brain tumour, and it caused him to retire in the early-10s.

In 2007 the whole family embarked on a tour to celebrate their 50th anniversary in showbusiness. A televised concert from Las Vegas saw them all perform, and even Tom and Virl joined in with signed lyrics on a couple of songs, plus Andy Williams made a guest appearance.

Merrill, Jay and Jimmy began working together performing and in business ventures. They released an album, I Can’t Get There Without You, in 2012, but these days, it’s just Merrill and Jay mainly, sometimes with Marie and Alan’s son, solo star David. Alan and Wayne rejoined for one final performance in 2019, but were back again on TV for Marie’s birthday in 2019.

The Outro

Often derided for their teen pop and squeaky-clean image, The Osmonds at least tried to explore new avenues in the 70s, following The Monkees in learning to write and play themselves. And come on, Crazy Horses is a real banger.

The Info

Written by

Johnny Bristol, Wayne Brown, Jr & David Jones, Jr

Producer

Mike Curb

Weeks at number 1

3 (31 August-21 September)

Trivia

Births

2 September: Presenter Lisa Snowdon
5 September: Transgender fell runner Lauren Jeska
6 September: Tennis player Tim Henman
13 September: Backstroke swimmer Adam Ruckwood
18 September: Footballer Sol Campbell

Meanwhile…

12 September: After only 44 days in the job, Brian Clough is dismissed as manager of defending league champions Leeds United following a disappointing start to the Football League season.

18 September: Harold Wilson confirms a second general election within a year for 10 October. Following the hung parliament result in February, Labour ruled with a minority government. Wilson aimed to secure more seats and hold a bigger balance of power.

336. Donny Osmond – Young Love (1973)

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The Intro

Only a few months since Donny Osmond’s last number 1, which was a cover of a 50s ballad, the teen heartthrob hit the top once again with… a cover of a 50s ballad.

Before

Young Love, like The Twelfth of Never, was taken from his most recent solo album Alone Together. Since its release, The Osmonds had released an ambitious LP, The Plan, best described as a Mormon concept album with aspirations to be progressive rock. Young Love was nothing like this.

This was the first time a previous number 1 had returned to the top spot – well, sort of – there was Answer Me in 1953, and Singing the Blues in 1957, but both were hits released by two different artists at the same time, competing against one another. Young Love was originally recorded by Ric Cartey in 1956. Cartey had co-written it with Carole Joyner, but it was country star Sonny James who first made it a hit, and then US actor Tab Hunter went all the way to number 1 and made it one of the best-selling singles of 1957.

Review

When I reviewed Hunter’s version (available in my book Every UK Number 1: The 50s), I remarked how Warner Bros. Records were really on to something, picking a good-looking film star to sing a dreamy love song for the teenage girls to go wide-eyed over. 16 years on and the girls are still going ga-ga for handsome young singers. I also said Hunter’s version was better than ‘dross’ like the Osmonds would release in the 70s. I was perhaps harsh there, as boy bands and teen pop is never going to be my bag, but the Osmonds did also record some good material. Donny’s Young Love is serviceable enough – it’s the best of his three solo number 1s. But the slushy backing from Don Costa is a bit overbaked and I preferred the subtlety of Hunter’s take and the uncertainty of his vocal.

After

Donny continued to release material under his own name, but only two more releases charted in the UK – When I Fall In Love, also 1973, and, fittingly enough, Where Did All the Good Times Go the following year. He was growing up and his voice wasn’t the pre-pubescent squeak with which he had first found fame.

He had more luck in his duets with sister Marie in 1974 , with I’m Leaving It (All) Up to You reaching number two. Marie’s presence renewed interest up to a point, but the sight of siblings singing love songs while looking deep into each other’s eyes proved too much for many. In 1976 they began hosting their own variety show, The Donny & Marie Show, which ran until 1979.

The 80s weren’t a great time for Donny’s music. He and his brothers were considered desperately unhip, and his audience dwindled, although he did return to the charts briefly here in 1988 with Soldier of Love.

The Outro

In the 90s Donny guested on an album by Dweezil Zappa and performed music for animated films including Disney’s Mulan in 1998. From there he began to record more solo work, inbetween appearances on reality shows like Dancing with the Stars, voiceover work and Vegas appearances with Marie. He even returned to the UK top 10 for the first time in 31 years in 2004 with Breeze On By, co-written by Gary Barlow. His most recent album The Soundtrack of My Life, went into the top 20 in 2014. Donny has kept a loyal following since the 70s, of women who look back fondly on their young love for the boy wonder.

The Info

Written by

Ric Cartey & Carole Joyner

Producers

Mike Curb & Don Costa

Weeks at number 1

4 (25 August-21 September)

Trivia

Births

12 September: Athlete Darren Campbell
20 September: Racing cyclist Jason MacIntyre

Deaths

29 August: Actor Stringer Davis
2 September: Writer JRR Tolkien
6 September: Composer William Henry Harris
11 September: Anthropologist EE EVans-Pritchard
21 September: Welsh scholar CH Dodd

Meanwhile…

8 September: The Provisional IRA detonated bombs in Manchester and Victoria Station in London, with injuries obtained.

10 September: Further IRA bombs at King’s Cross and Euston railway stations in London injured 13. 

12 September: The terror campaign continued, with more bombs exploded in Oxford Street and Sloane Square.

327. Donny Osmond – The Twelfth of Never (1973)

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The Intro

You just couldn’t keep the Osmonds down for long in the early-70s. After a brief fightback from glam rock acts, they were back at the top once more, this time it was golden boy Donny with his second number 1.

Before

Since his last solo number 1, Puppy Love, Donny’s voice had broken. Despite this, and while the Osmonds experimented with rock on the unlikely classic, Crazy Horses, he ploughed the same furrow of romantic ballads from the 50s and 60s. The title track of his fourth solo album, Too Young, climbed to number five, and double-A-side follow-up Why/Lonely Boy reached number three. With two albums per year, not counting LPs released with his siblings, you certainly can’t accuse the Osmonds of laziness. They were milked for all they were worth, which was a fortune.

The first track off his fifth album, Alone Together, The Twelfth of Never dates back to 1956. Penned by Jerry Livingston (who co-wrote songs on Disney’s Cinderella) and Paul Webster (the lyricist on 1953 best-seller Secret Love), the tune was inspired by the 15th-century English folk tune The Riddle Song.

Crooner Johnny Mathis was the first to record it, a year later, as the B-side to his hit Chances Are, but he didn’t think much to the song. Then Cliff Richard released a version in 1964, which reached number 8.

Review

Coming after Block Buster ! and Cum On Feel the Noize only makes The Twelfth of Never seem that much duller than it already is. Osmond’s voice may have broken but he still seems too young to be singing about how he’ll love his girl forever. It needs a crooner with gravitas, and is far better suited to Mathis. It has a pretty nice tune, but the lyrics have aged – and the ending in which is noted that the twelfth of never is ‘a very long time’… no kidding!

The Outro

Mike Curb and Don Costa’s production is polished but barely conceals a rather lacklustre affair, when all is said and done. Not as nauseating as Puppy Love though, and certainly better than his little brother Jimmy’s effort.

The Info

Written by

Jerry Livingston & Paul Francis Webster

Producers

Mike Curb & Don Costa

Weeks at number 1

5 (31 March-6 April)

Trivia

Births

3 April: Actor Jamie Bamber

Meanwhile…

1 April: Value-added tax (VAT) first came into effect, and phase 2 of the Price and Pay Code came into effect, restricting rises in pay and prices as a counter-inflation measure.

6 April: Peter Niesewand, a correspondent of The Guardian newspaper and the BBC, was jailed in Rhodesia for an alleged breach of the Official Secrets Act.

324. Little Jimmy Osmond with The Mike Curb Congregation – Long Haired Lover from Liverpool (1972)

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The Intro

What fresh hell is this? By installing nine-year-old Little Jimmy Osmond as Christmas number 1, the UK record-buying public’s collective nervous breakdown of 1972 was complete. The Osmonds were the biggest pop sensation of the year – but this was a step too far.

Before

James Arthur Osmond, born 16 April 1963, is the youngest member of the family, born in Canoga Park, California. His brothers were already TV stars as regulars on The Andy Williams Show at this point, and Jimmy was taught by tutors, his parents preparing him from a young age to follow them into the music industry.

Long Haired Lover from Liverpool was originally a single by Christoper Kingsley (credited on the Osmond version as Christopher Dowden for some reason) from 1969. I’m assuming the title is a reference to The Beatles, then still a going concern. It’s almost identical to the Osmond version, though as it’s sung by a grown man, it’s not as irritating. Examining the vinyl label suggests the backing singers on the original are the same as Osmond’s version, namely The Mike Curb Congregation. Curb, a film score and TV theme writer, had formed the group in the 60s to sing on his work. In 1969 he had merged his company with MGM Records, which soon became home to The Osmonds. He also co-produced this abomination.

The original version bombed, but Jimmy’s mother Olive heard it as it was distributed by MGM, and a horrible, terrible idea formed. It was a cute little tune… her boys had cornered the market in teenage girls… Christmas was around the corner, the boys were about to visit the UK… Jimmy could release it as a single!

Review

A few years back I listened and reviewed every Christmas number 1 in one sitting here. I rated Long Haired Lover from Liverpool as the worst of the 70s, and I stand by that. Comments included ‘Jesus Christ. That’s the only thing I can say about this that’s remotely festive, but it’s not meant as a compliment… It’s memorable I guess, but so is a bout of diarrhoea’. Nothing has changed since then to change my opinion, and although there have been plenty of weird choices in 1972’s number 1s, this still stands out as particularly stinky.

Osmond’s voice is just awful – but he was only nine (still the youngest person to ever have a UK number 1), so his parents are to blame. And the fools who kept this at the top of the charts for five weeks. FIVE WEEKS?! You can almost excuse it happening in the silly season, but for a month afterwards? And it kept David Bowie, T. Rex and even his brothers from number 1 with The Jean Genie, Solid Gold Easy Action and Crazy Horses respectively. The only plus point is it’s over quick.

After

Amazingly, Osmond scored further hits with Tweedle Dee and I’m Gonna Knock On Your Door (none of these songs fared anywhere near as well in his home country). His recordings became sporadic as the Osmond empire declined in popularity, and in the 80s he moved into management, though he would still occasionally appear on stage with his siblings. He opened the Osmond Family Theater and became president of Osmond Entertainment, running their merchandise and producing TV.

Since the new millennium began, Osmond has been a pantomime mainstay in the UK and appeared on TV time and time again, including I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, Come Dine with Me and Celebrity Masterchef. He seems a thoroughly nice guy, and we all do silly things in our youth, so lets forgive him for this aberration.

The Outro

1972 must rank as one of the weirdest years for number 1s to date. Lots of the ‘grown-up’ stars were still concentrating on albums, and although glam rock ensured great releases by Slade and T. Rex, it wasn’t as huge as it was to become. At least January 1973 was a blockbuster month…

The Info

Written by

Christopher Dowden

Producers

Mike Curb & Perry Botkin Jr

Weeks at number 1

5 (23 December 1972-26 January 1973)

The Info

Births

29 December 1972: Actor Jude Law
18 January 1973: Kula Shaker singer Crispian Mills

Deaths

24 December 1972: Art historian Gisela Richter
15 January 1973: Scottish novelist Neil M Gunn
19 January: Northern Irish actor Max Adrian

Meanwhile…

1 January 1973: A big day for the UK, as it officially entered the European Economic Community along with the Republic of Ireland and Denmark. Membership refusals in 1963 and 1967 had both been vetoed by French President Charles de Gaulle. Edward Heath later said entry into the EEC was his greatest accomplishment as Prime Minister.

11 January: The BBC’s Open University awarded its first degrees.

19 January: Super tug Statesman was sent to protect British fishing vessels from Iceland’s ships in the Cod War.

22 January: British share values fell by £4 billion in one day.

25 January: English actor Derren Nesbitt pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife Anne Aubrey after she told him she had been having an affair. They divorced a few months later.

316. Donny Osmond – Puppy Love (1972)

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The Intro

Of course, the first half of the 70s wasn’t just glam rock. Catering for the teenage and pre-pubescent girls were squeaky-clean singing sensations The Osmonds. And most popular of them all was Donny, who scored their first number 1 with a Paul Anka song.

Before

George Virl Osmond, Sr and Olive Osmond, living in Ogden, Utah, were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. They raised nine children –  Virl, Tom, Alan, Wayne, Merrill, Jay, Donny, Marie, and Jimmy.

Their music career began in 1958 when Alan, Wayne, Merrill and Jay, all aged between three and 10, formed a barbershop quartet, in part to raise money for hearing aids for Virl and Tom, who were born with severe hearing problems. George thought his boys had something special, and he took them to an audition in California. It fell through, but they visited Disneyland, and while there, a bigwig spotted the boys singing with the theme park’s Dapper Dans. He was so impressed he hired them to perform on a TV special, Disneyland After Dark.

Among those sat watching at home was easy-listening legend Andy Williams’ father. He thought they would be a perfect fit for his son’s TV show and urged him to book them, and they became regulars from 1962-69. In 1963 the quartet were joined by five-year-old Donny, the Osmonds’ seventh son, born 9 December 1957.

As the 60s went on, the boys had ambitions to become a proper pop group. George was initially sceptical, but they won him over and record producer Mike Curb was brought on board to help them garner a major label recording contract, which they did, with MGM Records. Their first single with MGM, One Bad Apple, was originally intended for The Jackson Five. It made The Osmonds number 1 in the US in 1971, and the hits went on.

A year later, Donny, who had shared lead vocals with Merrill, was singled out for a solo career to run alongside working with his brothers, thus cornering that all-important ‘impressionable girls’ market. Debut single, the aptly-named Sweet and Innocent, was a number seven smash in the US, and follow-up Go Away Little Girl was a number 1 in America.

Whoever had the idea to make Donny record Puppy Love, I hope they were rewarded. Anka’s 1960 rock’n’roll tearjerker had been written by the wunderkind (who had the biggest-selling UK single in 1957 with the similarly-themed Diana for Annette Funicello, with whom he was having an affair. This maudlin ballad was tailor-made to make young hearts swoon for poor Donny, who keeps being told he’s not old enough to know what love is. How dare they!

Review

It’s very hard as a 41-year-old cynical old sod to relate to this, and it’s really not helped by the fact Donny sounds even younger than his true age of 15 back then. His overacted whining of ‘Someone help me/Help me please’ is nauseating, but to be fair, not as annoying as Anka’s own version. In its defence, it’s a nice tune, well-produced and Donny sings it well, other than the lines I just mentioned.

The Outro

In short, I’d take Crazy Horses over this every time. But compared to the next Osmond-related number 1, Puppy Love is a classic…

The Info

Written by

Paul Anka

Producers

Mike Curb & Don Costa

Weeks at number 1

5 (8 July-11 August)

Trivia

Births

6 August: Spice Girl Geri Halliwell

7 August: TV presenter Sarah Cawood

Meanwhile…

21 July: Nine people died and over a hundred were injured on Bloody Friday in a series of explosions by the Provisional IRA in Belfast city centre.

28 July: Thousands of dockers went on strike, leading to Edward Heath declaring the second state of emergency of the year on 4 August.

31 July: In Northern Ireland, the British Army started to regain control of the ‘no-go areas’ established by Irish republican paramilitaries in Belfast, Derry and Newry.

Also that day came, sadly, Bloody Monday, in which three car bombs in Claudy, County Londonderry killed nine. In 2010 it was discovered that a local Catholic priest was an IRA officer believed to be involved in the bombings, but his role had been covered up by the authorities.

6 August: Ugandan dictator Idi Amin announced 50,000 passports were to be expelled from his country to the UK within the next three months. 

9 August: Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical Jesus Christ Superstar made its West End debut.