Opportunity Knocks

466. Kelly Marie – Feels Like I’m in Love (1980)

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The Intro

‘BOO BOO! BOO BOO! BOO BOO! BOO BOO!’ It’s cheap. It’s tacky. It’s the arse-end of disco. But I love Kelly Marie’s Feels Like I’m in Love and I’m not ashamed of it.

Before

By 1977, Mungo Jerry’s fame was drying up. It was seven years since In the Summertime, six since their last number 1 Baby Jump, and they hadn’t charted in the UK since Long Legged Woman Dressed in Black peaked at 13 in 1974. But they still had a following in Europe, and singer-songwriter Ray Dorset hoped that Elvis Presley might record a demo of his called Feels Like I’m in Love. Dorset impersonates Presley here, so you can easily imagine what a fleshed-out version would have sounded like.

Unfortunately of course, ‘the King’ died that year, and Way Down became his last new number 1, signposting a move to disco that was never realised for Elvis. Mungo Jerry recorded Feels Like I’m in Love and it was relegated to a B-side for their Belgian single Sur Le Pont D’avignon. Two years later, Scottish singer Kelly Marie chanced across the song in a music publishing office.

Marie was born Jacqueline McKinnon in Paisley, Scotland on 16 October 1957. She wanted to be a star from a young age and her parents were happy to help, entering her at voice and drama school at the wee age of 10. Two years later she was singing in competitions and at 15 she made her TV debut. Aged 16 she was appearing on Thames Television’s popular ITV talent show Opportunity Knocks. As Keli Brown, she won four times with her cover of I Don’t Know How to Love Him from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar.

The exposure led to her signing with Pye Records in 1976 as Kelly Marie, and she went to number 1 in France with her debut single Who’s That Lady with My Man. She also featured on Joe Dolan’s number two hit in Ireland, Sister Mary. But despite a few hits in South Africa and Australia, including most notably Run to Me in 1977 and Make Love to Me in 1978, it didn’t look like she was ever going to trouble the UK charts. Singles came thick and fast in 1978, including Loving Just for Fun, a prototype for Feels Like I’m in Love, even including a very similar synth-drum sound. Nothing charted.

One day in 1979, Marie and her producer Peter Yellowstone were in the Red Bus Music office, where they came across Dorset’s tune. They saw its potential and set to work.

Review

These days Feels Like I’m in Love is laughed at. A low-budget, throwaway, cheesy disco track sung by a very ordinary looking club singer with a distinct lack of subtlety. Coming after classics like The Winner Takes It All, Ashes to Ashes and Start!, it simply doesn’t hold up. Balls to all this is what I say. Least of all, the detractors of Marie’s appearance – there’s no need, and fair play to her for adopting the early 80s boiler suit look.

OK, cards on the table – nostalgia plays an important part in the personal appeal of Feels Like I’m in Love. One of my very earliest memories involves playing this at my Nanna and Granddad’s house. I was very young, but it must have been a few years after it was number 1, as I was born in 1979. But in my head, it was this moment in which I fell in love with pop itself – the title had a very literal meaning for me.

Hearing that effervescent, bouncy backing, complete with the infectious ‘BOO BOO! BOO BOO! BOO BOO! BOO BOO!’ synth drum, was like downing a bag of sugar. Everything was turned up to the max, including Marie’s voice. I remember thinking that being in love sounded brilliant. The instrumental break was exciting and I lost myself in it, and by the time the grand finale, with the ‘ahhs’ comes in, I felt sick with happiness and excitement. I felt alive. Hearing that swirling intro unexpectedly still takes me right back to that moment.

So yes, it’s very hard to be objective about something that had a personal impact like Feels Like I’m in Love. However, I’d still defend it as a very catchy example of cheap and cheerful late-period Brit disco. Marie of course gives it the welly it deserves, but the star here is Yellowstone’s production.

The video also turns up the camp, with Marie on a ship with two sailors, who go off on a tour of London, performing in front of mostly non-plussed people. At the end the sailors are back on their ship, waving off Marie who’s now on a tiny boat, heading for London Bridge.

After

Feels Like I’m in Love was released in 1979 but didn’t make a mark anywhere other than South Africa. But upon re-release a year later, it was gaining traction in the discos of Scotland, and then England. Climbing the charts, Marie achieved what must have felt unthinkable only a year previous. For two weeks in September, she was number 1, and she was a hit all over Europe too.

The success was short-lived. Marie rushed out a re-release of Loving Just for Fun, but it sounded like a pale retread of her biggest single, and it peaked at 21. Hot Love in 1981 was her last charting single, reaching 22. UK disco was on its way out, to be replaced by Hi-NRG, which you could argue was exactly what Feels Like I’m in Love was an early version of.

Marie continued releasing singles and performing at clubs throughout the 80s and 90s. In 2005 she appeared on the ITV talent show featuring stars of yesteryear, Hit Me, Baby, One More Time. She lost out to Chesney Hawkes.

The Outro

There were two inferior remixes of her number 1 in the 90s. Stock Aitken Waterman may have been responsible for many Hi-NRG classics in the early to mid-80s, but by 1991 they had run out of steam, and their version is a pale imitation. The 97 remix is even worse.

The Info

Written by

Ray Dorset

Producer

Peter Yellowstone

Weeks at number 1

2 (13-26 September)

Trivia

Deaths

14 September : Fashion journalist Alison Settle
17 September: Enid Warren
18 September: Antiquarian Edward Croft-Murray/Opera singer Walter Midgley
22 September: Labour politician Raymond Dobson/Town planner JR James
23 September: Cricketer Geoffrey Latham/Linguist Alan SC Ross
24 September: Novelist Jacky Gillott/Mycologist Clarence James Hickman
25 September: Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham

Meanwhile…

13 September: Hercules, a popular TV bear, which had gone missing on a Scottish island while filming an advert for Kleenex toilet tissue, is found.

21 September: The CND hold a rally at RAF Greenham Common for the first time.

24 September: 34-year-old Singapore-born doctor Upadhya Bandara is attacked and left injured by Peter Sutcliffe in Headingley, Leeds.

346. Paper Lace – Billy – Don’t Be a Hero (1974)

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The Intro

Death discs! Remember them? No? Don’t worry, it’s been a while. They hadn’t been in fashion since the mid-60s, and the last proper one to top the charts was Johnny Remember Me in 1961. Yet here we are in 1974, with two in a row. First, thanks to their success on Opportunity Knocks, Nottingham-based pop group Paper Lace were at number 1 with Billy – Don’t Be a Hero.

Before

Paper Lace formed in 1967 as Music Box, consisting of Cliff Fish, Dave Manders, Roy White and Phil Wright. They performed contemporary covers by bands including The Beach Boys. In 1969 they became Paper Lace, named after their city’s long history with lace. While working their way through club gigs a year later they auditioned for Opportunity Knocks, the ITV talent show presented by Hughie Green. Nothing came of it at first, but they signed with Philips and released the album First Edition in 1972. The following year they were finally called up to appear on Opportunity Knocks, and they went down a storm, winning five weeks on the trot. By this point, the band consisted of Philip Wright on drums and lead vocals (very unusual, especially in these days), Mick Vaughan on guitar, Fish was still there on bass, and Chris Morris on guitar and vocals.

Meanwhile, hitmaking duo Mitch Murray and Peter Callander, last seen on this blog having written 1968 number 1 The Ballad of Bonnie and Clyde for Georgie Fame, had written Billy – Don’t Be a Hero and were looking for someone to record it. Murray, the man behind Gerry and the Pacemakers’ three number 1s in 1963, wanted an established group to record it, but Callander’s wife saw Paper Lace on TV and suggested them to her husband.

Review

Opening to a chirpy military drumbeat and whistling, Paper Lace’s solo number 1 is the weakest chart-topper of 1974 thus far. It sounds more like a single from the golden era of death discs and it’s too cheesy and naff to get much enjoyment out of. As an anti-war song, some suspect it was a brave move for Billy – Don’t Be a Hero to be released during the Vietnam War and that it was a comment on the situation, but clearly it wasn’t. There are references to ‘soldier-blues’ and ‘riding out’, and on publicity photos and one Top of the Pops appearance, the band (now bolstered by new member Carlo Santanna – not Carlos Santana – on guitar and mandolin), they’re wearing Union outfits. It’s a song about the American Civil War.

But yes, whichever war it’s about, the message is a good one. Don’t be a hero Billy, stay and marry your fiancée. But alas, no. Come the final verse, Billy has indeed died a hero, and his girlfriend throws the letter away. There’s no denying Callander and Murray in particular know how to write a tune, but their songs sound so stale in a year where disco is right around the corner. Having said that, it is unfortunately perhaps a sign of things to come, because there are some truly awful pop songs to come throughout the rest of the decade too.

Considering the subject matter, you’d think Paper Lace might have had a chance with a hit in the US. So it must have been pretty annoying when Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods got in there first and went to number 1 with their rushed cover. The Nottingham boys had more luck second time around though, when Murray and Callander gave them Prohibition-set tune The Night Chicago Died as a follow-up. It climbed to number three on these shores, but they scored a number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Third collaboration, The Black-Eyed Boys, just missed out on the top 10, also in 1974. With their second album, Paper Lace and Other Bits of Material released too, it was a busy year. It didn’t take long for Paper Lace to unravel though, and by 1976 the ‘classic’ line-up was no more.

Paper Lace resurfaced with different members in 1978 and scored a top 30 hit when they teamed up with Nottingham Forest FC to record a version of We’ve Got the Whole World in Our Hands. They split up in 1980 but by 1983 another version had formed. In 1990 Wright, Vaughan and Morris re-recorded Billy – Don’t Be a Hero but it was never released due to the Gulf War. The original was on a list of songs banned by the BBC at the time.

The Outro

These days there are two versions of Paper Lace, each containing different members from their hitmaking days. Why can’t everyone just learn to get along?

The Info

Written & produced by

Mitch Murray & Pete Callander

Weeks at number 1

3 (16 March-5 April)

Trivia

Births

28 March: Snooker player Mark King/Radio DJ Scott Mills
1 April: Conservative MP John Glen

Meanwhile…

18 March: Most OPEC nations end a five-month oil embargo against the US, Europe and Japan.

20 March: After wounding four people, crazed gunman Ian Ball fails in his attempt to kidnap Princess Anne and her husband Captain Mark Phillips in The Mall, outside Buckingham Palace. When he wrestled her to the floor of the Rolls-Royce and commanded her to get out, the princess’s response was ‘Not bloody likely!’. Passing heavyweight boxer Ronnie Russell came to the rescue, punching Ball twice in the head. Princess Anne’s parting words were ‘Just go away and don’t be such a silly man.’ Ball is still ‘away’, in Broadmoor Hospital.

29 March: The new Labour government re-establishes direct rule over Northern Ireland after declaring a state of emergency. 

1 April: The Local Government Act 1972 comes into effect in England and Wales, creating six new metropolitan counties and redrawing the administrative map. Newport and Monmouthshire are legally transferred from England to Wales.

334. Peters and Lee (Orchestra directed by Peter Knight) – Welcome Home (1973)

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The Intro

Take Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts’ blind uncle and a Yorkshire actress and what have you got? You’ve got folk, pop and TV stars Peters and Lee, light entertainment mainstays of the 70s, who reached number 1 with this easy listening tune, most famous these days for its use in a long-running crisp advert campaign with ex-footballer Gary Lineker.

Before

Lennie Peters, AKA Leonard George Sargent, was born 22 November 1931 in London. At the age of five he was knocked down by a car and as a result was blinded in his left eye. In a bizarre, surreal, even blackly comic turn of events, when he was 16, he was blinded in his right eye too. While sunbathing, louts began throwing stones. After admonishing them, Peters returned to relaxing, until one threw a brick that hit his face. Two operations later, the sight in his right eye was restored. However, the night before he was due to be discharged, Peters noticed the man in the bed next to him was about to fall and hit the floor. He rushed over to save him, and in doing so, the sudden strain detached the retina from his recovering right eye. He remained blind for the rest of his life. There’s bad luck, and then there’s Lennie Peters.

Peters had considered becoming a prizefighter, but following his incident, he became more immersed in music. He began singing and playing the piano in the pubs of Islington, and signed with Oriole, releasing several singles. Peters began to get noticed, appearing on BBC radio and television, and in 1966 he signed with Pye and released his version of Stranger in Paradise, a number 1 for Dean Martin in 1955. During the time he was often on the gruelling northern club circuit in 1970, he met Diane Lee.

Lee, born Dianne Littlehales in February 1949, was brought up in Sheffield, South Yorkshire. She had wanted to be a ballet dancer and moved to London to achieve fame, but was instead performing as part of a duo with her cousin Liz. Peters and Lee decided to team up, with Lee performing backing vocals. They made their debut during a Rolf Harris live show in April, originally calling themselves Lennie Peters and Melody.

1973 was to be their year. After seven winning performances on ITV’s talent series Opportunity Knocks, they released their debut single, Welcome Home on Philips Records.

Review

Originally written by Jean Alphonse Dupre and Stanislas Beldone in French, with English lyrics courtesy of Bryan Blackburn, Welcome Home is a simple, old-fashioned but pretty likeable slab of MOR pop. A man is missing his love and imagining what it’ll be like when she returns. From the word ‘someday’ in there, I’ll wager she’s not actually ever going to return, and Peters is hoping against hope.

The verses are boring, but the chorus is a classic punch-the-air moment. ‘Come on in and close the door’ seems slightly silly though. You’ve waited who knows how long for your lover to return, and all you can do is complain it’s a bit drafty? No wonder she left…. Joking aside, I’ve been running a mile from these type of songs of late, but I can’t help but enjoy this. It’s interesting to see how Lee barely gets a look-in though, you don’t even hear her at first. It’s all about Peters.

After

Not only did Peters and Lee get to number 1 with their debut single, but their LP We Can Make It went to the top of the album charts in the same week, making them the first act since The Beatles to do so. They topped the bill that year at the Royal Variety Performance. Further hits followed, most notably Don’t Stay Away Too Long in 1974 (number three).

The mid-70s were a busy time for the duo on TV, with appearances on The Des O’Connor Show and The Golden Shot to name but two and in 1976 came their own show, Meet Peters & Lee. But the writing was on the wall and they released their farewell album, called, er, The Farewell Album, in 1980.

While Lee went into acting, Peters returned to a solo career, but only one LP followed – Unforgettable, in 1981. He also briefly appeared as a criminal in 1984 crime film The Hit. Two years later they reunited and released Familiar Feelings as a single. Two more albums followed, Peters and Lee in 1989 and Through All the Years in 1992, but Peters succumbed to bone cancer on 10 October that year, aged 60.

Lee went on to marry Rick Price from Wizzard and she released solo album Chemistry in 1994. She and her husband are still touring, performing old and new material.

The Outro

In 1995 Walkers Crisps used Welcome Home in an ad campaign with football hero Lineker, fresh from playing in Japan. It was so successful, he starred in many more, and the company even changed their salt and vinegar flavour to ‘Salt and Lineker’.

It’s also worth noting that this was producer Johnny Franz’s 10th and last number 1. Franz, known as the ‘last of the great pros’, was one of the biggest producers of the 50s and 60s. His first number 1 was Winifred Atwell’s Let’s Have Another Party in 1954. It had been seven years since his ninth, You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me by Dusty Springfield in 1966. He also helped his close friend Scott Walker when he first went solo in the late 60s. Franz died of a heart attack in 1977, aged 54.

The Info

Written by

Jean Alphonse Dupre and Stanislas Beldone/Bryan Blackburn (English lyrics)

Producer

Johnny Franz

Weeks at number 1

1 (21-27 July)

Trivia

Births

23 July: Travis singer Fran Healy
26 July: Actress Kate Beckinsale

Meanwhile…

26 July: Parliamentary by-elections at the Isle of Ely and Ripon resulted in both seats being gained from the Conservatives by the Liberal Party candidates – media personality Clement Freud and David Austick respectively.

301. Middle of the Road – Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep (1971)

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The Intro

You can be the greatest lyricist in the world but unfortunately, the bottom line is, millions of people don’t care about words in pop songs. To them, if the tune is good, they’ll sing anything. And if you want proof, listen to Middle of the Road’s Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep. An upbeat song about either a baby bird or infant boy called Don being abandoned with a gibberish chorus, but an incredibly infectious one. Five weeks at number 1 in the summer of 1971 and fondly remembered even now.

Before

Chirpy Chirpy, Cheep Cheep had been written and originally recorded by Lancashire singer Lally Stott in 1970. It reached the top 15 in France and was a minor hit in the US. His record company Philips was reluctant to release his version worldwide, and instead it was offered to brother-and-sister duo Mac and Katie Kissoon from Trinidad, who released their quicker-paced version first, and Scottish folk-pop quartet Middle of the Road, based in Italy.

Middle of the Road consisted of lead singer Sally Carr, drummer Ken Andrew, guitarist Ian McCredie and his brother Eric on bass. They had first worked together as Part Four in 1967 and then became the Latin American-style group Los Caracas. They won a series of ITV talent show Opportunity Knocks, but failed to gain momentum afterwards and decided to find fame in Italy instead. Opportunity knocked once more when they met producer Giacomo Tosti and recorded Stott’s tune.

Middle of the Road’s debut single did well in Europe, but flopped in the US and nearly did the same in the UK, coming so soon after the Kissoon’s version, which had flopped here. However, Radio 1 DJ Tony Blackburn took a shine to Middle of the Road’s recording, and it became a summer anthem.

Review

The incredibly catchy drumbeat that opens the song means this is already a step up from Knock Three Times, and the chanting is certainly attention-grabbing… but what the hell was Stott actually on about? Sadly, he died many years ago so we’ll never know. ‘Where’s your mamma gone?’… well, the song’s title obviously suggests it’s a bird that’s been abandoned, but then there’s the lyric ‘Little baby Don’, which implies a boy without any parents. Which is really messed up, when you consider the answer to such a terrible event is ‘Ooh wee, chirpy chirpy cheep cheep’. Some people online seem to think the song is about the Vietnam War… this seems a bit of a stretch.

Of the three versions of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, Middle of the Road’s is the worst, and that’s down to the vocals, which are really grating. I could forgive the weirdness of it all but Carr’s strange style is just too much to bear for me, especially combined with the way the backing vocals chirrup the song’s title. The Kissoon version is nicer, but a bit too lightweight, so if I had to pick one, it’d be Stott’s original. As the song fades out and Carr is really getting into it, telling everyone to join in, I just feel confused and queasy with it all. But as I’ve said before, what do I know?! Children in particular love this song, (and I confess I remember enjoying it in my schooldays), and Middle of the Road’s version has more youthful energy than the rest.

After

The group’s hits continued for the rest of 1971, with follow-up Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dum climbing to number two and Soley Soley reaching number five. Going off the titles alone, I’d put money on these being more of the same, nonsensical but catchy novelty songs that went down a storm around Europe. 1972 saw their fortunes fade and Samson and Delilah/Talk of All the USA was their last top 30 entry in the UK, but they continued to do well elsewhere for a few years, particularly in Germany.

In 1974, early Bay City Rollers member Neil Henderson had joined the band on guitar, but Middle of the Road split in 1976. What chance did a band with such a name stand in the punk years ahead?

The Outro

Middle of the Road have reformed with different line-ups since 1976 for the nostalgia circuit, but Eric McCredie died in his sleep in 2007, aged 62. His brother is the only original band member still in the line-up.

The Info

Written by

Lally Stott

Producer

Giacomo Tosti

Weeks at number 1

5 (19 June-23 July)

Trivia

Births

20 June: Conservative MP Brandon Lewis
22 June: Rugby player Gary Connolly
25 June: Northern Irish footballer Neil Lennon
14 July: Football referee Howard Webb

Deaths

25 June: Scottish Nobel Prize physician John Boyd Orr
1 July: Nobel Prize physicist William Lawrence Bragg

Meanwhile…

21 June: Britain began new negotiations for EEC membership in Luxembourg.

24 June: The EEC finally agreed terms for Britain’s proposed membership. It was hoped that the nation would join the EEC next year. Ah, heady days…

1 July: The film Sunday Bloody Sunday is released, becoming one of the first mainstream British films with a bisexual theme.

6 July: Police launched a murder investigation when three French tourists were found shot dead in Cheshire.

8 July: Two rioters were shot dead by British troops in Derry, Northern Ireland.

13 July: Michael Bassett, 24, from Barlaston was found dead in his fume-filled car. Police identified him as their prime suspect in the triple French tourist murder case in Cheshire.

23 July: The final section of the London Underground’s Victoria line, from Victoria to Brixton, was opened by Princess Alexandra.